8 Shit

"Where do you want to go? Hmm..."

I heard him asked me. I know my face is heating up. All the drinks are kicking in my system now. I shrugged my shoulders and giggled at the stranger who is holding me so tightly.

"I don't know..."

I tried getting away from his embrace. And when I did it successfully, I run and laughed at him. I never feel so happy. I'll probably regret this tomorrow but who cares now eh....

I almost hurt myself from tripping into a canal but thankfully he was alert to hold my hand.

"Damn it!!" I heard him curse.

"Thank you!" I said and giggled once more then I run again.

Don't talk to a stranger they said. But why am I comfortable with him? I reached a park and sat down on the grass. I was tired from all the running. I wish I could just be this carefree and happy.

I wish my life is like this. Free and nothing to worry about.

I sighed and lay down on the grass instead. I did not mind about whether I'll get dirty. I just want to feel the grass against my skin.

I watched how the stars lit the darkness of the night. How the heavens decided to put them and make the darkness beautiful? I have no idea...

I was lost with my thoughts when I heard him sigh before sitting beside me. I watched him get something on a plastic bag. If it's a knife then I'm doom! But I'm still going to die though months from now. There's no really a difference with it. Nothing will changed. I will still end up with the same fate.

I watched him rummaged through the plastic bag. And saw that he got me a bottle water.

"Here drink some water." he said.

"Thank you!"

I sat down again and drink the water he gave me. I gave it back to him after drinking and lay down again.

I gaze at the stars again. The stars becomes more beautiful when the night is at its darkest. That's one of the reason why I love star gazing. The stars remind me that even when life get tough and I'm at my darkest, there is this little light that will guide me through at the end of the tunnel. And that I'll get over any challenges life throws at me.

I once read a book where it was stated there that when you die, the heavens will bring your soul up in to the sky and you'll become a beautiful star.

I wonder if I'll die, will I ever become a star? I asked this myself countless times already.

I sighed. Minutes ago I was happy and now my mind is consumed with this thought. My cruel reality is haunting me everyday. It is as if it is reminding me that my end is near.

I sighed one last time before I looked at the stranger's way.

"Have you ever wonder where every person who died goes?" I asked him.

I saw that he's looking at me intently. Maybe he's feeling weird about my silly question. I know right?!

Not waiting for him to answer, I proceeded.

"They become stars. Why? Because even though they are not physically present anymore here on earth, at least they still exist at night to guide, light and protect their loved ones here that they left. The eagerness in their heart and soul to protect and be always present with their loved ones led them to being a star at night."

"Hmmm....maybe..."

"Yes it's true! I've read it on a book!" I said with conviction to tell him that what I was saying is true. He nod his head at me. I think he's still unsure with what I said. Because again, this is not a normal topic that you should discuss with a total stranger.

"That's why when I'll die someday, I'll beg the heavens above to turn me into a star." I continued. I am sincere with this. If one day, they'll give me the chance to choose where I want to go next, I'll choose this one. To become a star that will guide and comfort my loved ones at night.

I look at him and see that he's still well uh- looking at me. Now that my eyes are not that blurry anymore, I can see now clearly some of his features on his face.

Wai-wait..!!! I sat down and wiped my eyes. Shit! What the hell??? Or maybe my eyes are just deceiving me. It has been days now since the last time we saw each other. Maybe my system is still messed up with alcohol. Damn this alcohol!

"Wow!! You just look like my ex boyfriend, Mr. Stranger!." I giggle at him..

Oh my goodness! The resemblance they look the same. He stayed silent and kept on staring at me. I saw him sigh. So weird!

I stood up and roamed my eyes around the wide field here at the park. I removed my heels and looked at him again.

"Will you take this chance to dance with me, Mr. Stranger?" I playfully said at him. I offered my right hand at him.

He looks at my right hand hanging in front of him and I giggled at his confused look on his face. After that his eyes is tracing from hand up until to my eyes. I wiggled my eyebrows at him. Without saying anything, he held my hand.

"But we don't have any music on?" He asked me.

"It's ok. I can sing if you want."

Gosh Belia! You are really embarrassing yourself here. You don't know how to sing! You idiot!

He laughed at what I said. Damn him! His laugh is sexy and manly. His laughed echoed through the whole park. It was loud!

"Ok then. I'll be honored malady to dance with you." he said as he tag along with my craziness.

Imitating a leading man's gesture in a movie, he took a bow, kissed my right hand before pulling me close for a dance. We were staring at each other's eyes. I love how dark his eyes are.

"So where's our music?" he asked.

I readied myself.

"Twinkle! Twinkle little star..."

He laughed at me but still he never let's me go. We continued dancing I sang alphabet song. That whole time, it was only my voice and his laugh that filled the whole park that night. It was fun. I had fun.

When I was tired of singing, I rested my head on his chest...like what I did when we were inside the club.

He embraced me and it made my heart feel so happy. I can feel my heart beating so wildly. I can hear his heartbeat too. We continued dancing even when there was no music at all.

"You know what, thank you for coming with me tonight, Mr. Stranger." I sincerely said at him.

He hugged me more tightly. I just don't want to end this night. I just want to wish the time would stop ticking right now. I am happy and at peace being embraced with this stranger. It is stranger but I don't care as long as I'm happy, I am good with it.

"I am here now Belia. I will never let you go anymore...."

I heard him say something before kissing my forehead. I was sleepy to understand what he was saying.

I woke up to the loud sound that's keep on ringing inside my room. Gosh!! Shit! Where is it? I cover myself with my pillow and blindly grabbing my phone on my side table near me.

Woah---- wtf!!! What the hell???!!! I'm in my room???

I throw my pillow away and look around. This feels all foreign to me...This is not my room!!!

I look at my dress and thank goodness I'm still wearing my clothes last night. I grab my phone and saw a lot of missed calls from my mama and my driver.....Shit!! I'm dead!

I try to calm. Breathe Belia! You have to relax so that you can think about what happened last night...

"Ugggh!!!...."

I held my head as I can feel its throbbing. Oh!! Crap!! I look for my purse. I need my damn purse! My pain reliever is inside of it.

I search the whole room and see my purse at the round table right across my bed. I stand up and slowly I walk toward the table.

Shit!

I open my purse as I reach on it and look for my medicine. I open the bottle and swallow it. I usually drink it with water but I can't wait for it.

I sat down on the floor as I embrace myself for the attack.

Inhale...

Exhale...

I can seem to stop my tears from flowing as I feel the pain in my head. I curled myself on the floor like my life depends on it.

"Hey what's wrong!"

I was embraced by a tight hug.

Who the hell is this?

"Uggghh".....

"Shhhh....it's alright..."

I focus my energy on my head. And try myself to calm down.

Five Minutes later, feeling a little bit calm and feeling slowly all my senses back....I moved away from the person who is cradling me like a baby. A baby in pain.

I look at the person kneeling in front of me...Shit! Why is he here? Shit!

"Why are you here?" I said...feeling a little bit breathless.

Why is he here? Why does he have to see me like this? I know what my face looks like when I'm hangover more or less now that I just had my attack a while ago.

I can see that my hair is disheveled. My face is sticky with my tears and sweat. I still haven't change to a cleaner clothes. My face probably looks weird and messy with my make up that is still on.

I just don't care at all if he sees me like this. But why is he here though?

"Are you ok or are you still in pain Belia?" He asked me instead of answering my question.

Alarmed by his question , I quickly hide my pain reliever medicine. He's observing my every move, looking for any loopholes or something.

With gritted teeth, I look away...avoiding his intense stare at me. This is unfair?!

Why does he have to be this clean and handsome in front of a damsel that is in distress? He probably heard me from where he is showering, immediately grab something to wear and run right away since his hair is still dripping. He looks fresh while I look like I came from a war.

The heaven might be playing with me right now. Of all people who saw me a while ago, struggling to get her sanity back, Basti is here. He's here!!

Shit!