Roock and a Hard Place

The numerous puzzles hadn't been a surprise. Thankfully Esbern had been prepared for such an eventuality, the lone book he carried having at least an idea of what we would be facing. We got through without too much hassle and were making decent progress until we came to another door. I hesitate to call it a door considering it was a rather sinister representation of a man's face. 'Maybe it's just really old art or something.' I watched as Esbern walked in a circle, looking at what appeared to another sort of carving on the floor.

"Ah, a blood seal. Another of the lost Akaviri arts. No doubt triggered by…" Then he looked at me, "Well, blood. Your blood, Dragonborn."

I sighed. 'More blood rituals.'

"Who's the head belong to?" Lydia asked.

"That would be Reman Cyrodil, founder of the Reman Dynasty, and first Emperor of the Second Empire." He looked between Lydia and I as I assumed we both returned blank looks. "You don't know of him?"

I shrugged. "Recognise the name but know nothing of the man himself."

Esbern simply tutted to himself, mumbling something but otherwise left it alone. Then he started to gesture again at the statues and carvings surrounding us. "This whole place appears to be a shrine to Reman. He ended the Akaviri invasion under mysterious circumstances, you recall…" He paused. "Or maybe not."

I stepped forward into the centre of the circle, taking my dagger from its sheathe. Propping myself down on one knee, I cut my left hand with the dagger, ensuring the blood dripped onto the seal below me. I stepped back, wrapping my hand with a cloth, as the seal below me started to move before there were sounds of gears moving. All four of us turned to see the head move backwards, revealing an entryway into the temple itself.

"After you, Dragonborn," Delpine stated, "You should have the honour of being the first to set foot in Sky Haven Temple, the first in centuries."

"If not millennia," Esbern added excitedly, "There's no telling what we might find inside!"

The hallway was pitch black, Esbern casting a spell, a magic light appearing above my head. The doors into the temple were made of stone and incredibly heavy. I put my right shoulder against the door and heaved it open, Lydia arriving to my right and putting her shoulder into it too.

"I guess they didn't like visitors," she joked once we had the door open.

It was even darker inside the temple, the light above my head illuminating myself, Lydia and not a lot else. Esbern and Delphine appeared behind us, carrying torches, and we took our time climbing the stairs, gazing upon the carving that lines the walls to either side of us. All four of us came to a stop as we crested the stairs, our necks craning towards the ceiling high above us. There was a large gap in the ceiling, allowing natural light to filter in, though the room was still mostly shrouded in darkness.

"I'll light some braziers," Lydia stated, watching as small flames started to appear around the room.

"This place is enormous," Delphine added in wonderment as she began her own investigations of the temple, leaving me alone with Esbern.

"Aye. The wall is just over there too," Esbern stated, wandering towards it. I followed him as his torch began to illuminate the magnificent carvings and artwork. I only hoped he could interpret whatever it was we were looking at. I didn't miss the excitement in the old man's voice as he weaved his torch along the wall. "Shor's bones! It's… so well preserved. I've never seen a finer example of early second era Akaviri sculptural relief…"

He spent a few minutes simply looking at the artwork, getting in close and blowing away the dust and webs, using his fingers to clean sections. I left him to it as I gazed upon it myself. I couldn't interpret a single thing, though I could make out certain features. The dragons were obvious while I could see ancient warriors, who I assumed were Akavir or even ancient Blades. Other than that, I guessed we were looking at a representation of a battle or battles but this was why we'd recruited Esbern. I simply hoped the wall would help us in the end.

"Esbern!" Delphine called.

"Yes, yes. It's just… simply magnificent."

"Take your time, Esbern," I stated gently.

"Yes. Thank you, Dragonborn. It's just… seeing this, the first people to gaze upon the wall in who knows how long…" He gestured grandly across the temple, "All of this is a representation of our history. Events that have disappeared into the mists of time. Forgotten names of heroes and warriors. Book that have been written in the intervening years may have to be completely rewritten upon what we may find here."

"So what does the wall tell us?"

Esbern took his time explaining it to me, knowing my own knowledge was limited or non-existent. I listened as he described each panel, most focused on Alduin and the power he held during ancient times, explaining what the Dragon Cult was and the rise of humans against their dragon overlords and subsequent Dragon War. The centre of the carving was what interested me. How we could defeat him. And that was exactly the question I asked. It was the whole point of the wall.

"Patience, Dragonborn. We'll get to it eventually. What you have to understand is that the Akaviri were not a straightforward people. Everything is couched in allegory and mythic symbolism."

"But you can understand it?"

He returned a smile that suggested that, yes, he very well did. He gestured me to step closer to the wall before pointing at the wall. "See these Nord heroes here?" I nodded. "That there, just above them, is the Akaviri symbol for 'Shout'. But… there's a problem. There's no way to know which Shout is meant."

"But they used a Shout to defeat Alduin?"

He nodded. "Definitely, Dragonborn. It may all be allegory and symbolism, but it's also clear to those who understand it. The Shout used would certainly be specific to the dragons or even to Alduin himself."

I scratched my head. "So I'm looking for a Shout? I don't suppose there's a word wall here?"

"I doubt that very much, Dragonborn."

I looked to my left as I heard Delphine approach, obviously listening in to our conversation. "Do you know of a Shout that can actually knock a dragon out of the sky?" she asked me.

"Me? No. I mean, the Force Shout I can does disturb their flight, but doesn't knock them out. But…" I trailed off.

She looked at me carefully. "But what?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe the Greybeards might know." 'But I don't particularly want to involve them.'

She surprised me with what she said next. "You're probably right." That wasn't the part that surprised me. "I was hoping to avoid having to involve them in this, but it seems we may have no choice." That was the bit that did. And I had to ask.

"What's your problem with the Greybeards?"

She heard my tone and, while not defensive, she didn't hold back her opinion. "If they had their way, Dragonborn, you'd do nothing but sit up on their mountain and talk to the sky, or whatever it is they do. The Greybeards are so afraid of power that they won't use it."

"As taught by their founder, Jurgen Windcaller, who realised such power can lead to corruption."

She scoffed at that remark. And probably at me for believing it. "What have they done to help stop the civil war? What have they done to stop Alduin?"

"The civil war has nothing to do with them."

She raised an eyebrow. "So what about Alduin?" I had no answer to that one. "That's right. They've done nothing. And they're afraid. Afraid of him. And they're also afraid of you and the power you now wield."

"You think I'm not afraid of Alduin?"

She actually smiled, shaking her head. "There's no reason to be afraid, Ragnar. Think of Tiber Septim, now Talos, our God. Do you think he'd have founded the Empire if he'd listened to the Greybeards?"

I walked across to a chair, taking a seat, placing my helmet on the table as I ran a hand through my hair. Delphine and the others took a seat nearby. "Listen, I can understand the Greybeards hesitancy. Neither you or I have any idea of the real power I can wield. Not yet. I'm still a novice when it comes to this. All we know is that I have the gift to use my Thu'um with minimal effort on my part."

"But are you afraid of your gift?"

"No. Not afraid. More unsure. Unsure of how I should use it. To defeat Alduin? Of course. I'll do everything in my power to end him. But what about after that? You asked about the civil war. What about my role? Should I remain neutral or should I choose a side? Then there's the fact I'm of the dragonblood. There's no doubt the Thalmor want my head. The Empire may even look to me as a possible link to the Septim bloodline and want me somewhere in their fold. Who knows what my future may hold."

"Your destiny is to defeat Alduin, Ragnar. Anything after that is what you choose to do."

"Anything else on that wall that may help, Esbern?"

"Not at the moment, Dragonborn. But give me time to look at all these carvings and murals. I have no doubt this place holds millennia of information, perhaps stretching all the way back to the First Era. Gods, what a treasure trove."

"And what will you do, Ragnar?" Delphine asked.

"Guess I'd better go see the Greybeards and see what help they can offer."

She sighed with relief. "Good. I doubt they'd help either Esbern or I if we just strolled up to their front door. While you're doing that, Esbern and I will clean this place up and, as he said, see what other mysteries this place holds. Whatever the case, this is a perfect hideout if not headquarters for the coming battle."

I got to my feet, placing the helmet back on my head. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Talos guide you, Dragonborn."

*****

"I don't trust them."

I'd been close to dozing, the sway of my horse almost rocking me to sleep, as we rode away from the temple. I looked up, no doubt in surprise. "You what?" I asked, unable to stifle the yawn.

"I don't trust them. Something about them just doesn't add up. I think they will end up using you for their own reasons. The way they speak about who the Dragonborn should or shouldn't be. And it's obvious they have their own ideas of who you should be and what you should do. But do they match your own ideas and your own ideals?"

If there was one person I trusted in this life, it was my housecarl. She had no problem sharing her opinions but only ever shared them if she was sure to be right. "I won't let them boss me around. The Blades are meant to work for me, right?"

She shook her head. "Delphine certainly seems to be the one giving the orders at the moment. And I still don't trust her."

"I need all the help I can get, Lydia. But I hear what you're saying."

"Do you? Really?" I nodded. She returned a smile of thanks. "Okay, just… We should be careful while dealing with them. And let's not forget the Thalmor too. We could end up being caught in the middle. And then their disdain for the Greybeards…"

"No, I don't like that either. There must be a reason for their mutual loathing. I'll speak to Arngeir. He's already mentioned that I should be careful with the Blades."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to live in peace, my thane. That's what most of us wish for."

"If we end the dragon war and then the civil war, do you think there'll be peace?"

She sighed. "Probably not."

"Nothing wrong with hoping for it, though."

We agreed to stop in Whiterun the next day, having needed to camp during the night on the way back such was the distance. It was beyond nightfall by the time we opened the door to Breezehome, simply heading straight upstairs to our bedrooms, both of us tired and sore from what felt like days on end in the saddle. We left Whiterun on horseback once again before dawn the next day, planning to make it to High Hrothgar before sunset that evening, if possible, knowing we'd probably end up climbing the last part in darkness. The ride to Ivarstead passed without incident, forcing out horses to canter practically the entire way, knowing they would rest in the village while we walked the mountain.

We stopped to have a lunch in Ivarstead, believing it not to be midday, so with hope that we wouldn't be bogged down in the snow during our climb, we started our ascent after a quick rest. The early part of the climb was as we remembered and endeavoured to climb it quickly until we reached the first drifts of snow. Around halfway up, we were greeted by thick snow on the ground but, thankfully the Gods must have favoured us, as the weather remained clear, though the wind still whipped snow into our faces on the exposed mountainside.

It was dark by the time we reached High Hrothgar itself, the giant monastery bathed in moonlight from the cloudless sky. I'll admit I was actually nervous about greeting them this time, unsure of how they would react to my working with the Blades. I figured the Greybeards would echo the thoughts of my housecarl to not trust them.

They must have heard the door to the monastery open, the wind howling through the opened door before we forced it closed, as Arngeir was front and centre to greet us. I bowed slightly. "Master Arngeir," I stated respectfully.

"Dragonborn," he replied, bowing himself.

I got straight to business. "May we talk, Master?"

Arngeir probably had a sixth sense, or simply heard my tone, as he gestured to a set of stone seats nearby. After taking one each, he cast me with a curious eye. "How may we help the Dragonborn?"

"Alduin has returned, Master."

"Such as was foretold by the prophecies."

"Indeed. So I need your help in defeating him."

Now he cast me with a curious eye. But the change in body language was perceptible. "What help exactly?" he asked sharply.

"The ancient Akaviri used a particular Shout that defeated Alduin millennia ago. I need to learn that same shout to defeat him again."

I didn't think a Greybeard would ever get angry. But the frown that appeared suggested they did. "And where did you learn of this? Who told you about that?"

"The Blades helped me find Alduin's Wall. The wall suggested there was a certain shout that helped them defeat Alduin before."

Arngeir scoffed, getting to his feet and pacing angrily in front of me, muttering under his breath. "And you trust the Blades, Dragonborn?" I could only shrug. "They've always meddled in affairs they have no understanding of. Their arrogance knows no bounds. I thought you knew better, Dragonborn."

"Now hang on a second…"

He waved a hand dismissively, continuing to pace. "The Blades have always sought to turn the Dragonborn from the path of wisdom." Then he stopped in front of me and slumped. "Have you learned nothing from us, Uhtred?" he asked quietly, then met my eyes, "Would you simply be a tool in the hands of the Blades, to be used for their own purposes?"

"Of course not, Master. I am my own man and will make my own choices. But Alduin will destroy the world if left to his own devices and the Blades are helping me in regards to his defeat. Surely that is a noble endeavour in and of itself?"

Arngeir remained silent, chewing on my words, until he nodded his head and resumed his seat next to me. "Of course. I apologise, Dragonborn. I have been intemperate with you."

"What is your problem with the Blades exactly?"

"They Blades may say they serve the Dragonborn, but that is mere lip service, as they do not. And they never have. Only the Greybeards can guide the Dragonborn on the true path to wisdom and guide him or her as they follow the path. The Way of the Voice is the true nature of the Dragonborn."

"I understand, Master, but Alduin cannot remain unopposed. Only I can stop him and I'll do everything I can to do that." Arngeir nodded, I assumed understanding my viewpoint. "So can you tell me about the Shout I need?"

"No." I must have looked nonplussed. "No, I cannot teach you, Dragonborn, as I do not know it," he added.

"Do you know anything about it?"

"I do. It is called 'Dragonrend', and it is a Shout of immense power. But the words required are unknown to use as the Greybeards chose not to know it. The Shout holds no place in the Way of the Voice."

I looked at Lydia, who looked concerned. "It sounds… evil, my thane."

"You are correct, young one. It was created by those who had lived under the unimaginable cruelty of Alduin's Dragon Cult. Those who created the Shout poured all their anger and hate into the Shout. Remember, Dragonborn, that when you learn a Shout, you take it into your very soul, effectively becoming the Shout itself."

"So you're saying it could change who I am?"

"Such a thing is possible. By learning this Shout, you will be taking this evil into yourself. It is nothing but a Shout fuelled by hate. The unadulterated hatred of dragons." I couldn't very well sit back and think about it too much. Evil Shout or not, I needed to know it. I could only hope it wouldn't change me too much. Arngeir could obviously see the gears in my head turning, and I didn't even have to ask when I turned back to him. He simply nodded, understanding what I required. "Okay, Dragonborn. We do not know the words, but our master, Paarthunax, can answer that question, if he so chooses."

"May I meet him?"

"You weren't ready. You still aren't ready." I thought he wasn't going to say anything else, until he sighed, shaking his head. "But, thanks to the interference of the Blades once again, you have questions that only he can answer."

"Where is he and how can I meet him?"

"He lives in seclusion at the top of the mountain. We rarely speak to him and he never speaks to outsiders. Being granted permission to see him is a rare privilege." He paused, obviously thinking about what to say next. He nodded to himself. "Tomorrow morning, Dragonborn. Meet me in the courtyard after sunrise and I will teach the Shout necessary to climb the mountain."

With that, we bowed again and he walked away. I knew he wasn't happy. Didn't particularly blame him either. But needs must and I needed to learn that Shout. Alduin had to be defeated and I was beginning to understand it may be at any cost. And I knew that cost may even be my own life in the end. I hadn't given my own mortality a second thought during my time with the guild in Chorrol, nor since my arrival in Skyrim. Even since I learned of being of the dragonblood, I'd rarely given death a thought, even when in battle with a dragon. But I knew the ultimate sacrifice may now be required to ensure the defeat of Alduin. 'As long as he dies too then the cost would be worth it.'

"Arngeir wasn't pleased, my thane."

"I know," I answered, chewing on a piece of bread, finally eating after our journey up the mountain, "But I also need to know."

"Push them too much and they may not help us again."

"This will be the last thing I ask for as I know I'm asking a lot from this request alone. But if Paarthunax can help me with this Shout and, who knows, perhaps in how to defeat Alduin completely, then I can return to their path of wisdom."

"So you won't become the dragonslayer the Blades expect?"

"No."

"Why?"

She sounded genuinely surprised. "Because I don't think being of the dragonblood, a gift from Akatosh, means I am meant to simply traipse across Skyrim, killing dragons. There is more to it than that. I think neither the Greybeards or the Blades have it entirely correct. Tiber Septim was of the dragonblood yet he founded an Empire."

"So what will you do?"

"Use the gift as to how I see fit. I won't abuse the gift as suggested by the Greybeards. In that regard, I believe them. But I also believe in fate, or destiny, as Delphine stated. But I won't simply be guided to that fate by the Blades. I'll make my own choices, and will choose whether to accept the guidance of others. The consequences will rest on my shoulders alone."

Lydia woke me the next morning, shaking me awake, stating it was past sunrise. I'll admit that I enjoyed the warmth of being wrapped in furs, the monastery also far warmer than one would expect, considering the weather outside. After dressing and a quick breakfast, we wandered outside onto the courtyard to find the four Greybeards meditating. We stood back as we allowed them to complete whatever they were doing, Arngeir finally looking our way after a few minutes' observation.

The six of us gathered near the tower, the path ahead leading up the mountain. In the middle of us roared a great fire, providing warmth on an otherwise cold mountaintop. Arngeir gestured towards the gate behind us.

"The path to Paarthanux lies through there. I will show you how to open the way."

The wind howled past the gate and I knew that it was no ordinary wind, that there was a magical element to it that prevented easy access. I wondered why access was barred in such a way. 'Perhaps Paarthunax simply wants uninterrupted privacy?'

Like during my last visit to High Hrothgar, I learned words of power directly from the Greybeards, all four of them sharing their knowledge of a Shout they called 'Clear Skies'. Arngeir then stated what I had already assumed. Learning this Shout would be the last gift of the Greybeards towards the Dragonborn. I understood why and didn't question the decision.

"Clear skies will blow away the mist, Dragonborn, but only for a time. The path itself is perilous and not to be embarked upon lightly. Keep moving, eyes on the summit and you will reach your goal."

I bowed again. "You have my thanks, Master Arngeir."

"We wish you luck on the path, Dragonborn."

All four Greybeards bowed and left us at the gate, Lydia and I looked through it at the visible howling wind. Even standing as far back as we were, we could feel the bitter cold. I could sense the nerves of my housecarl at the same time.

"You ready for this?"

She grimaced but nodded at the same time. "Yes, my thane."

"Are you sure? Listen, Lydia, you can stay here if you want."

"No. I'm not afraid. It's just…"

"Stepping into the unknown?" She nodded again. "Well, why don't I clear the mist and we'll find out what's up there?"

"I'm right behind you, my thane."

I used the Shout just learned to clear the mist. Even the howling wind quietened down, revealing a crisp, snowy path and a cloudless sky above. Gesturing towards Lydia, we hurried ahead, hearing the wind start howling behind us as we followed the track ahead. There were a number of stumbles as the path was not clear, rocks and boulders in our way, some requiring to be climbed over. The path was also narrow, the snow and ice underfoot treacherous so I made sure Lydia and I took our time. Getting to the summit alive was the most important thing.

I had to use the same Shout again and again as the wind was relentless. It was strong all the time, but certain sections were impassable. 'Definitely magic.' We crossed a wooden bridge and rounded a corner, coming to a stop when I noticed something strange in front of me.

"Ice wraith!" Lydia shouted.

"A what?"

"Use your flames, my thane. Use your flames!"

Since my sword was already sheathed, I simply had to summon the flames, raising both hands and watching the magic flow from my palms. Lydia stepped alongside, flames flowing from her own hands. The ice wraith flew towards me, causing me to weave out of the way, my flames stopping for a moment as I turned to meet the wraith. It then flew towards Lydia, my housecarl ducking out of the way as I followed the creature. It was turning for another attack when it simply seemed to shattered into pieces. I extinguished my spell and stepped towards the remains.

"Don't touch them. The remains may still burn you for the moment."

"Frost burns?" She nodded. "Still strange, that phenomenon. What are these things anyway?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure exactly, I just know what they're called. I think they're magical though."

We trudged on, thankful the snow underfoot was thick and hard, allowing a stable footing, further evidence that the path hadn't been used in a long time. Apart from having to shout to clear the path every so often, the rest of our journey took place without any major incident. That's not to say it wasn't exhausting. The incline was worse than that up to High Hrothgar, the muscles in my legs burning with each step, the wind still blowing into our faces whenever we were not shielded by the mountain itself.

The view, though… That was simply spectacular. I wondered how many people had seen Skyrim from such a height. Very few to none at all, particularly if even the Greybeards rarely if ever walked to the Throat of the World.

"It all looks so small," Lydia stated in amazement, "How high do you think we are?"

"Absolutely no idea. Higher than any bird flies?"

"It's possible."

We continued walking, wrapping our coats close to our bodies to keep the cold at bay. Despite the exertion, the sweat on my back and on my forehead, it was still bitterly cold. It was even harder to breathe, feeling it necessary to take deeper breaths, slowing my pace as we climbed due to a feeling of breathlessness, if not light-headedness. I used the Clear Skies Shout again and, passing through a pair of rock formations, I figured we were now at the summit of the mountain. I crested the path ahead of Lydia and saw a word wall ahead. Just as I was about to walk towards it, I heard a roar above, looking up to see a dragon fly overhead.

"Dragon!" Lydia yelled, joining alongside me as we both unsheathed our swords. We watched and waited until the dragon flew over us twice before it landed ahead of us, near the world wall. I was expecting it to roar at us with either flames or frost. Instead, the dragon simply watched us intently as we watched it in return. And then, probably to both our amazement, the dragon spoke.

"Drem Yol Lok. Greetings, wunduniik. I am Paarthanux."