Lady Toni's Great Escape

When life's being bitchy, it will 'eff you over. Who would have thought that when I, the Captain of the country's Special Forces, woke up after reading a recommended historical romance fantasy novel; I'd end up in the novel itself. Blah! Talk about cliché! Seriously though, it was fine that I ended up in a novel. But why do I have to end up as the third-rate villainess/ bro-con lady Celestine von Trier? It was fine as well, being all that. But why is it that I'm fated to die a pathetic death by choking on a cookie? The injustice! The audacity! The... the...stupidity... I refuse! I will run away from this ridiculous mumbo jumbo. I am the master of my own fate! Plot be damned. Let the Operation: Great Escape commence!