56 May-December | Chapter Twenty-six

Chaska and Kyle were able to make the down payment on the little townhouse. The young man who was leaving for the city has handed them the keys before rambling on about how he would be expecting his monthly payments even though he wouldn't be in town anymore. Chaska and Kyle had promised him that, and they quickly went on to scoop the house and figure out what needed to be done so that they could move in by the end of the year.

The typical things like checking the plumbing, fixing up the woodwork and switching out light bulbs were tasks that were done within a week. Changing tiles, painting, and putting up wallpaper took most of the time. That's what Chaska and Kyle were currently doing on one of those few days when they were off work at the same time.

"I hope he doesn't ruin it," Kyle said, climbing down from the ladder before staring at the wall he's just wallpapered.

"He won't. He promised," Chaska said, coming up behind the man. They were in what would soon be Otis' room. It was half the size of theirs that would be across the hallway. They had gotten the toddler to pick out wallpaper himself, and he had gone for ponies against a green background.

Kyle sighed, picking up the ladder again. "I'm still a bit worried," he said, making Chaska chuckle. They had cleaned out the garage, painted the walls of what would be their shared bedroom, and they had finished up tiling in the living room. The only thing left was deciding if they wanted to use wallpaper or paint in the living room.

"Do you think we need child gates?" Kyle asked, walking out of the room with the ladder in his hands. Chaska followed behind him with their tools.

"You mean those short gates by doors?"

"Yes."

"Why? Otis is going to be four years old soon, and he'll grow taller than them before we can count to five," Chaska said as the two men made their way down the stairs. "Maybe if we had a dog, but it's just the cats," Chaska muttered as Kyle hummed in agreement.

"You're right," the older man said dropping the ladder to the side when they got into the living room. "I guess I keep forgetting how old he is," Kyle said walking over to take a seat on the couch they had brought with them a week back.

Slowly they were emptying out Chaska's apartment, and soon they would start sleeping over at the house. Chaska dropped their tools before heading to join Kyle on the couch.

Kyle was tired, but it was fulfilling tiredness. He was going to say goodbye to his old apartment and move to a proper house—despite its smallness, it's location, and the fact that they were paying for it in installments, it was still their own place. He was proud. A lot prouder and happier than when he had bought a McMansion in the suburbs with Anastasia.

"The first thing I'm going to do when we're here for the first night is to make dinner, then do laundry," Chaska yawned as he pulled Kyle's head to rest on his shoulder. "It's been a long few weeks," Chaska muttered, and Kyle hummed in agreement.

The room became quiet, and Kyle listened to both their breathing as he dozed off from time to time. Otis was with his grandmother at the grocery store. Kyle has made him promise to be well behaved, but you could never tell with kids. Kyle was happy that his mother seemed to adore her grandson, so he wasn't worried about her being angry and firm with him.

"Kyle."

The older man raised his head at the sound of Chaska's voice. "What is it?" he asked, staring into the man's dark eyes.

The young man just stared at Kyle for a bit before looking down. "I feel like I want to say something, but I feel strange..." Chaska trailed letting out an embarrassed laugh.

"What is it?" Kyle asked, moving to raise Chaska's head so that they were looking at each other again.

Chaska shrugged. "I thought about it for a bit, but I think it's a silly idea—"

"What is it?" Kyle was firm, trying his best to coax the words out of Chaska.

Chaska blinked, hesitating a bit before speaking, "I don't know. I think I want to go to therapy," the man said, looking away from Kyle before pulling his legs up on the couch before hugging his knees to himself. "I think there's a lot of things that I just pretend don't bother me until you poke me a bit..." he trailed before his eyes went wide.

"I'm not saying you poking me until I spill is a bad thing," he quickly clarified. "If anything, it's the opposite. I get to see how bad things were and see how much I've selectively forgotten or pretended didn't happen."

Kyle didn't say anything in reply, he just reached out to squeeze Chaska's knee.

"So yes, if we ever get to the point where we're comfortable financially, I would like to see if therapy would help," Chaska said, taking in a deep breath.

"Have I ever told you about my dad, Kyle?" Chaska asked looking up and Kyle shook his head.

"You just told me he was in prison," Kyle muttered.

"I see..." Chaska squares his shoulders, biting his lower lip as he stared out into the room. "You know, when I went to visit my mother's grave, I thought about him. I don't want to have anything to do with him, but I felt a bit guilty just pretending he hasn't existed for so long—"

"There's nothing for you to be guilty about," Kyle said, cutting the younger man off. "Yes, he's your dad but you don't have to forgive him just because of that," Kyle said, reaching out to pull Chaska into a hug. The younger man relaxed in his hold as he felt his chest squeeze up.

"You know, my dad died of diabetes when I was in the city," Kyle said out of the blue. Chaska raised his head, staring at Kyle with wide eyes.

"I was too busy trying to make as much money as I could, that I forgot what I was trying to save up for," Kyle muttered, resting his head back on the coach. "I remember calling home once, and my mum told me he was gone. I froze up. I didn't know what to say. I remember saying sorry and hanging up, I didn't call again for years..."

There was pin-drop silence for a bit until Kyle let out a small sigh. "What I'm trying to say is, well, it's normal to recoil into yourself when you're shocked," Kyle said.

"You never told me the details about your father and how your mum died, but I have a gut feeling that it was shocking enough to make you start pushing it to the back of your mind," Kyle said.

Chaska blinked. "Yes, it was." He swallowed down the saliva at the back of his throat. "He introduced drugs in the house for money and got my mum to help him prepare them. She died from her addiction, and my dad just ran away..." he trailed.

"You know, I don't even think that's the worst part. I'm not sure if you know how crack is made..." Chaska asked looking over to Kyle to find him shaking his head.

"Well it's quite dangerous and it can be explosive. My mum was an addict, and sometimes she hurt herself making a batch," Chaska explained. "I don't know, watching my mum scrabble to consume the drug while she'd be wincing from a burn or coughing was hard to see..."

The younger man forced himself to smile. "Am I oversharing?"

"No." Kyle was quick to say. "I'm happy you're talking to me about this."

Chaska felt himself tear up, but he held it back. "I really love you, Kyle," the younger man said, hearing his own heartbeat in his ears. "You're really good to me," Chaska added, closing his eyes as he cuddled into the man's chest. They both smelled like paint and wallpaper glue, but Chaska didn't mind.

"I love you too, Chaska," Kyle muttered against the man's ear before kissing his neck. "I wonder if I would have met you if I didn't rush to leave town at eighteen," Kyle muttered.

"What were you doing when you were eighteen?" Chaska asked. "You know was just saying around—" he paused, shivering a bit. "Saying awful men, but you get the point."

Kyle nodded, pulling away a bit so that he could look at Chaska's eyes. The man had perfect lashes, and how neatly set his brows were always fascinated Chaska.

"I did what I've always done. I worked as a mechanic," Kyle said, and Chaska narrowed his eyes at him.

"No drinking—" Chaska bit his lower lip. "No women?" he added quickly before he could feel self-conscious about asking. Kyle knee a lot about his past dating life, so it was okay for him to ask too.

"No, not really," Kyle muttered. "I wasn't really doing anything or trying to have fun. I was just working."

Chaska grunted. "That's boring."

"I know." Kyle smiled.

The younger man had a question that he chewed over for a bit before finding the courage to ask Kyle. "How did you meet Anastasia?"

"I fixed her car once, and she kept coming back," Kyle laughed, thinking of the past with an attached fondness.

Chaska laughed too as he reached out to brush the hair out of Kyle's face.

"I get self-conscious about your ex-wife sometimes," Chaska muttered, surprised at his own honesty. "As I've told you, I've always been a secret. A lot of my ex-boyfriends had girlfriends and wives..." Chaska trailed.

"I'm not ashamed of dating them. I was just really desperate for a man to want me, so I—" Chaska paused, fighting with his own feelings of being part of the reason a few men had problems with their wives. "They never choose me, so it hurt my confidence," he added, finally finding words to explain his feelings.

"Every time you tell me about your exes, I want to beat the shit out of them," Kyle said, and Chaska chuckled.

"Well, that's why I haven't told you who they are," Chaska sighed, shivering a bit when Kyle's hand found its way into his jeans. "They're everywhere and it makes me anxious to see them sometimes, but for the most part, we just pretend like we don't know each other," Chaska said, thinking of the few men in town he used to date.

"If they ever give you trouble tell me," Kyle said, kissing the younger man's jaw. "I can't fight for shit, but I promise I'll give them a blow or two."

Chaska laughed before his features tensed up and he moaned. Kyle has moved his hand to the front and had begun to brush his hand against the head of his penis. The man let out a sigh as Kyle zipped down the front of his trousers before doing the same to his.

"I'm sorry, I got a little carried away," Kyle mused, using his hand to stroke them both. "You're always so warm. I always want to touch you," the man said, feeling the both of them harden under the touch of his hand.

"You know, I was very worried about if you'd like me enough to sleep with me," Chaska admitted.

Kyle laughed. "While all I could think of was how to get you to fuck me."

"Did you really think that?" Chaska asked, feeling his face warm up.

"Yeah," Kyle said, pressing a kiss to the man's lips. "Once I even tried to touch myself down there while thinking of you, but I got scared because I didn't know what I was doing," he laughed. The recall of the memory was supposed to be funny, but it made Chaska's lower stomach twist up with want.

Chaska sat up straight, pulling away from the man before moving his hands under Kyle's shirt.

"I really want to do that now..." Chaska trailed. He sounded shy, even though they'd done it dozens of times before. Kyle found it adorable.

"I don't smell great right now..." Kyle trailed, leaning forward so that he could kiss Chaska. "But when we get to your apartment, sure," he muttered, against Chaska's lips before kissing him again.

Chaska smelled like the icy rain from the winter, and the paints and wallpaper glue they had been working with.

Chaska smelled like home.

Kyle has gone to look for happiness in the city, but it had been back home in peace river all along. Chaska with his cold behavior and love for children. The Chaska who loved him—the Chaska he loved back.

He let out a small moan when the man sucked on his tongue and sighed into his mouth. Kyle couldn't wait for them to start living together.