27 Like Sugar | Chapter Twenty-seven
Jared was in Austin's car today because he needed a lift. He had taken public transport to work today mostly because he had forgotten to do little things like checking the oil in his car and sending it off to the car wash a day before. It was around five in the evening and the whole city's dim lightning was due to the cloudy sky.
Jared had a lot in his mind. So much so that he wasn't paying much attention to what his friend was talking about. He kept spacing out and overthinking what had happened this morning. On a whim, when Darnell was no longer awake, he had dialed the home number to his childhood home and had gotten excited when he noticed he still knew the number by heart. The phone number hand rang and rang, but no one on the other end picked it up. He was about to give up but called one more time just for good measure, and someone picked it up. Sadly, it wasn't anyone he knew. The family that now had the old phone had bought it with the sim card still intact.
The situation had choked Jared up a bit, and he was about to apologize and hand up when the lady offered t check the phone for any contact he might want. He agreed and made to look for a notepad and a pen as fast as he could. Now, Jared had about ten numbers that belonged to his aunts, uncles, siblings or cousins. He was still trying to figure out who might still have their old numbers, and he kept spacing out when he got lost trying to play subtraction in his head.
"You're not listening to me." Jared blinked at Austin's words, turning to his friend who had a frown on his face as he made a turn. "Is something on your mind?" he asked, making Jared bite his bottom lip before looking down at his fingers. Austin already knew the gist of things, he might as well explain to him what happened yesterday.
"I called my family's home line — well, I guess their old home line since I didn't know the person that picked up," Jared started, looking out into the road. "The lady was nice enough to check the phone for old numbers, and even though I'm grateful now I'm not sure if they'll even work."
"How many numbers do you have?" Austin asked, making Jared look over at him.
"Ten."
"Come on, I'm sure at least one number still goes through," Austin said, and Jared shrugged his shoulders, turning to look out of the window. It was wishful thinking. What person kept their number for over fifteen years? Jared was sure that he had personally changed his line multiple times over the years.
Austin started talking again when Jared didn't say anything in response. This time Jared listened. Yves had traveled back to France a few days ago, but Austin kept talking about him. They called each other often, it seemed, and Austin seemed to be happy with the arrangement. Jared put some effort into making sure he didn't seem gloomy. He talked to Austin and took out some time to text Darnell. The younger man couldn't come over today because he had a school project that needed to be completed before the deadline tomorrow.
The kept exchanging texts even after Austin dropped Jared off and the older man moved up to his bedroom. He dropped his phone on his desk before making to change out of his work clothes. His phone buzzed a few times during this, and he made sure to check his messages after he got into a pair of loose shorts and a plain shirt.
He rose a brow at the notifications. There were three of them.
➡Push notification.
Message from Darnell: Picture.png.
Thursday, 6:45 PM.
➡Push notification.
Message from Darnell: Picture2.png.
Thursday, 6:45 PM.
➡Push Notification.
Message from Darnell: Since I can't make it today. ♡
Thursday, 6:46 PM.
Curiosity got the better of Jared, and he clicked on the first one. Jared wasn't sure if he regretted or loved his decision or not, but his face had become hot, and his breathing got labored. His grip on his phone tightened as she stared down at the nude pictures Darnell had sent.
He hadn't been expecting that.
He was so shocked beyond words that he just clicked off the chat and went to sit on his bed, mentally begging himself to calm down.
His phone buzzing in his hand brought him out of his trance-like state. He stared down at its screen, looking at the new message notification.
➡Push notification.
Message from Darnell: You don't like it?
Thursday, 6:50 PM.
His eyes went wide, and he unlocked his screen before typing up a message and sending it to Darnell.
Message to: Darnell.
I like it a lot. I just had to take a second to breathe.
Thursday, 6:51 PM.
Message from: Darnell.
:)
Thursday, 6:52 PM.
Message from: Darnell.
♡
Thursday, 6:52 PM.
Jared nibbled on his bottom lip, pressing the reply box before typing again.
Message to: Darnell.
Can I ask when you took this? You're in school, aren't you?
Thursday, 6:53 PM.
Message from: Darnell.
I am, I took them a while ago. I just uploaded them from my files.
Thursday, 6:54 PM.
Message to: Darnell.
You have more?
Thursday, 6:55 PM.
Jared didn't really care why Darnel had nudes at all. It made sense really. If he looked half as decent as Darnell was, he would probably want to look at his own body from time to time. He was just asking because — okay, maybe he just wanted to see some more.
Message from: Darnell.
Yes. Do you want them? :)
Thursday, 6:56 PM.
Jared's heart was beating fast, but his genitals spoke faster than his brain and he sent a 'yes' before he could think over it. Darnell didn't waste much time, and soon four new pictures were sent.
Message from: Darnell.
I have to help out before my group mates kick me out for just being on my phone. I'll chat with you later. ♡
Thursday, 6:58 PM.
Jared just stared at his phone for a while, scrolling through the pictures as his face burned up. He wasn't sure what to do. Jared rarely masturbated. There was something about looking at his own body that disgusted him, and there was something about trying to please himself that made him feel pitiful. The tightness between his legs made him buck his hips a bit. He licked his lips. He really couldn't hold it in. He would just have to give masturbating a go.
Without a second thought, Jared got up from the bed and headed to his bathroom, standing in front of the toilet with his phone sitting on the toilet head while resting on the tiled wall so that he could look at the pictures. To be honest, he didn't know where to start or what to do, but a simple thought of Darnell being there with him made a shiver run through him. He reached into his shorts, fondling himself before pulling his shorts down so that he had more freedom. He stared at his phone screen, thinking about Darnell as he stroked himself. From time to time the thoughts he used to have when he was much younger and had tried watching porn filtered into his mind.
The person you're masturbating to thinks you're disgusting.
You look ridiculous.
Jared pushed them to the back of his mind, ignoring their looming presence as he filled his own mind with reassurances. Darnell sent them to him. He wanted him to see it. He had implied using them to think of him. Darnell loved him. Darnell wasn't disgusted by him. If he looked ridiculous, it didn't matter—
The effort paid off and soon Jared let out a sigh. His wet hands, and the sound of something dripping into the toilet telling him he had come.
He blinked, swallowing down his saliva. He had done it, and he didn't feel like a train wreck after it. He quite liked it. He liked it a lot.
He chuckled a bit as a small smile took form on his lips. It seemed like such an odd thing to be happy about, but to Jared, it was one step closer to not hating himself and his body. He cleaned up, picking up his phone before heading back into his bedroom.
He was humming and smiling, scrolling through his emails and phone notes before stumbling on the list of numbers he had collected from the new owner of his parents' home phone. His eyes went wide, remembering that he was supposed to call. He started copying and pasting the numbers to the dialer. Some of them came up as dead/inactive, some of the numbers went through but no one picked up. Jared was about to give up until someone picked the call for the last number of the list. He was so surprised that he didn't say anything at first, and it only took the person from the other end asking who was there for him to come out from his shock.
"Hello?" The voice was small and high pitched — young. Jared frowned a bit. The number was supposed to be for his older sister, and it was after a while he realized that it might be her child. It was fifteen years ago since they last spoke to each other. A husband and children were possible things his sister could have gotten over the years.
"Hello, can I talk to Batya? Is she home?" he asked, making sure to come off as firm and knowing what he was doing. If he got blocked because a child got freaked out, and ruled him out because of 'stranger, danger', he might never be able to reach out to his family again. The kid said 'yes' to Jared's relief, and soon there were sounds of the girl calling for her mother and the barking of a dog in the distance.
"Hello, who am I speaking to?" the voice was formal, but Jared could spot it anywhere. It was his sister's. It was really her voice.
"Batya?" he called out in a small voice, hoping that she could remember his voice too. The other line was silent for a while, and Jared started to worry.
"Jared?" she said on the other end after a while, and Jared let out a sigh of relief.
"Yes!" he said, getting excited. "It's me, yes!"
"It's you?"
"It is!"
The two soon got into a conversation that ran for hours. Jared didn't mind the strain on his phone bill. He had an unlimited plan. He talked to Batya about everything. She had gotten married and now how three kids. Two of them were twin boys and were thirteen, and one of them was eight and was the kid she had handed the old phone she had salvaged from under the stairs since she kept asking for a phone after her brother's got phones for their birthdays.
Jared also learned that his father was late due to Alzheimer's, but his mother was still alive and kicking.
He felt his heart drop at the news that his dad was dead, but he was happy his mum was still alive. He would go visit her in the retirement home she was staying in.
Another thing Jared learned was that the person who picked up the call on Hanukkah was a cousin of his. The then-teenager hadn't said anything to anyone, and years passed without anyone really knowing what happened to Jared or why he wasn't calling. People were hesitant to call because they felt he was just weaning himself off them. They were a religious bunch, and Jared had never been fond of that. He had changed his number within the frame of the year, so when his cousin opened up about it and people tried to call, no one could reach him.
They ended the call with Jared getting his sister's number and the number of his mother's retirement home. He also promised Batya to find a way to come over to her place for the holidays. She even told him it was okay to bring the person he was seeing if he was dating anyone at the moment. His sister didn't seem to care that he was gay. And by the way she spoke about concerned family members, they either seemed unfazed by it, or they came off as slightly bothered and withdrawn. It didn't matter if everyone wasn't accepting, though. As long as there were people in his family who accepted him for him, Jared was okay with that. He didn't have to be close to everyone. He would count his blessings and do away with his losses.
A grin so wide that it hurt was plastered on Jared's face throughout the rest of the day. Something good had come out of this. He was glad that he had been pushed to call home.
