24 Like Sugar | Chapter Twenty-four

In the past few weeks, Austin had done a lot of things. For starters, he reduced the number of cigarettes he took in a day. He made it a point not to smoke around Yves. He also made an effort to think about his words before he said them. Complimenting Yves without being overbearing had been a struggle, but he managed. He hadn't expected anything to come out of his efforts, but Yves reacted positively to it. He stuck around more after they went about their business at night, and he was less irritable. The change surprised Austin, and he got flustered by the new Yves. He never thought he could be more in love with the man but the tender, bright Yves was a lot more loveable.

"Christ," Austin groaned, feeling his pocket and discovering that he had finished the ration of cigarettes he had assigned to himself. He nibbled his lips, sighing as he searched his other pocket for the pack of chewing gum he had carried along with him. Unwrapping a stick of gum, he walked down the hallway to his friend's office. The door to Jared's office was at the far end. Austin wasn't even sure if the man was in. It wasn't his office hours, and Austin only had a very vague idea of when the man had lectures to teach. Austin couldn't wait to be sure. He had something important to ask Jared, and he just had to check if the man was in.

Reaching the door, he pulled the handle down, pushing the door forward before walking in. He smiled in relief when he saw Jared working at his desk. His dark-haired friend didn't look up at him immediately, so Austin closed the door before walking over to the man's desk and taking a seat of the chair that was propped up in front of it.

"Austin?" Jared asked, looking up from his laptop's screen. He looked surprised, and it was warranted because his friend didn't usually visit him at this hour. Austin shrugged, chewing the gum in his mouth as he looked around. He was searching his head for a good way to ask Jared for the favor he had in mind.

"Is something wrong?" Jared asked, still very unaccustomed to his friend being a little quiet. Austin shook his head, rubbing the back of his meaty neck with his hand.

"I wanted to ask you a favor," the older man muttered, staring at Jared before resting his elbows on the table. "Yves and I were talking the other day and he mentioned wanting to go to a drag show. Can you make that happen?" Austin asked, watching as Jared blinked. At first, Austin would have found a way to reach out to Darnell and ask, but he knew Yves and Darnell were close and that would ruin the surprise.

"Please? He leaves in about two weeks, I just want him to have better memories to remember me by," Austin muttered, watching as Jared nibbled his bottom lip. The drastic change in his behavior had softened Yves a bit, but he was still far away from making the man love him. All he could hope for now was that they would at least stay in touch, and maybe one day Yves would give him a proper chance.

"I'm going to a show with Darnell's father this Saturday. Maybe I can ask Darnell if it's fine to bring two more people," Jared said, trying to accommodate his friend.

"Thank you. I'll appreciate it if you can get back to me about that soon," Austin said, grinning. Yves would love him for this — well, not love, love, but he would appreciate it.

"Thanks," Austin said, beaming at his friend. Jared mirrored his smile, humming a bit. He spotted that the man's jaw was moving because of the gum he was smacking. He wanted to chuckle, replacing one addiction with another wasn't a wise thing to do. But hey, at least this time it's gum and all he would have to worry about was diarrhea from the sugar in it.

"Any luck—?" Jared asked out loud, and Austin turned his gaze to him, scratching the side of his nose before shrugging. He knew Jared was talking about Yves, but he wasn't in the mood to go in full detail because he was afraid, he might break down. He was already trying his best to ease his disappointment as the date for Yves' flight loomed in the background, its presence getting more noticeable with each passing day.

With a small shrug and sigh, Austin answered Jared, "Yes, but no." Jared's answer confused Austin, but he refrained from asking any more questions. The two sat in silence for a bit, and Jared returned to replying to emails when a few minutes past. Austin just sat down, looking around Jared's office as he moped.

"Enough about me," he muttered, making his friend to look at him. "How are things going with Darnell?" he asked, forcing himself to smile. He watched as Jared's face warmed up as a grin found a way to his face. Austin liked seeing his friend be happy, but he wouldn't lie and say he wasn't a bit jealous of how smoothly things went for him.

"Great," Jared said, picking up a pen and rolling it between his fingers. "I spoke to his father last weekend," Jared added, making Austin's eyes go wide. He had missed the part where Jared said he was attending one of Darnell's shows with the young man's father.

"That's great," Austin said, nodding his head in approval. It seemed the two were taking their relationship seriously.

"Can I ask you a question, Austin?" Jared suddenly asked, making Austin blink in surprise. Austin wondered what in the world would Jared want to ask him. It couldn't be relationship advice, he was doing a lot better than him in that aspect now.

"Sure, go ahead," he said despite his doubts. Jared nodded, looking down at the pen in his hand before nibbling his bottom lip.

"It's a little personal," he said as his eyes flickered up to meet Austin's. "I hope you don't mind," he said and took Austin's silence as permission to go forward. "Do you still talk to your parents? Did you ever come out to them?" Jared asked, watching as Austin raised a brow in confusion before bursting out in laughter.

"I was born in 1954 to an evangelical family, what do you think?" Austin asked, folding his hands across his chest before leaning forward. "Conversation therapy — prison or a fine for public display of affection? No thank you," he said, watching Jared steadily. Jared swallowed down the spit in his mouth. He had almost forgotten that he and Austin almost had twenty years' worth of an age difference between them.

"It might sound odd, but the only time I truly ever felt relieved and out was when my parents died. I never came out to them," Austin said, and Jared just nodded. The reason Austin was so in tune with 'modern gay culture', was because he never had the opportunity to truly be himself for a long time. Hiding, lying, getting married and eventually getting divorced when his parents died, and he felt like he could breathe. He lived a lie for half of his life. The look on his friend's face made Austin hold the rest of what he wanted to say. He would have loved to rant about being closeted as a young, but he had a feeling that wasn't what Jared wanted him to do.

"Hey," he said, making Jared look up at him. The man looked conflicted now, and it was obvious he had something on his mind. "That wasn't what you wanted to hear, right?" Austin asked, and Jared forced a smile on his lips before shrugging.

"I had wanted to ask about coming out to a religious family, and I asked you because you mentioned that you used to go to church, and I felt that maybe—" Jared paused, sighing when he realized that he wasn't making much sense. "I'm thinking of calling home again. I came out ages ago, but I never got a reaction. I just got silence on the other end. I wasn't sure what to make of that, so I never just called again—"

"And fifteen years passed," Austin said, finishing Jared's sentence for him. He remembered talking about this with Jared maybe a few months ago when they went out for drinks. Jared was a chatty drinker. Jared blinked, wondering how Austin knew that, but he decided not to ask.

"Yeah," Jared said with a small shrug. "I'm planning on calling them soon," he said, making Austin hum. The office went silent again, and Austin leaned back on his seat, speaking up.

"Family matters aside," Austin started, cocking his head to the side, "Have you used the second set of toys I gave you?" he asked, watching as Jared's face turned a deep red. He laughed, wondering why Jared was still getting flustered over things like this.

"Well, have you?" Austin asked since his friend didn't answer him and rather looked away in embarrassment. Jared shook his head, looking up.

"No, I'm saving them for later," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Darnell really likes the first set I'm planning a sort of surprise—" he said before pausing. Austin rose a brow at him, wondering what he was cooking up in his head. "Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I shouldn't do that. I want it to be special..." Jared trailed tapping his bottom lip as he frowned at his own thoughts.

"You want what to be special?" Austin asked, edging forward.

"Don't make fun of me," Jared started, and Austin nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder in a fake pledge. Jared looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers as he found his breath. "I was planning to ask Darnell to move in with me," Jared said, looking back up at his friend whose eyes were now wide as a look of surprise clouded his face.

"You two are moving a little too fast, aren't you?" Austin asked, and Jared chuckled.

"I guess..." he trailed, "but you could say that I'm desperate to move things forward," Jared said, and Austin nodded, watching his friend played with his hands. "So, I'll ask him after treating him out and maybe... You know..." Jared's face was red again, and it was then he realized the man was talking about the toys. Austin chuckled, nodding his head in approval.

"You do you," he said. "It's not like he's going to say no," Austin muttered. The two were so in love with each other, and Austin couldn't imagine a scenario where Darnell wouldn't jump at the opportunity to live with Jared.

"If there's anyone you would have to convince about that it's that his friend—" Austin paused, snapping his fingers as he tried to remember her name.

"Nathalie?" Jared asked, making Austin nod.

"Yes her, she didn't even let me speak to Darnell in person for a long time when we were setting up the contract. She's overprotective. Well, maybe that's because she was trying to get her friend a good contract, so who knows. It might have been a one-time thing," Austin rambled and Jared watched his friend. The man started to talk about other things. Annoying junior staff, students, and the pesky school management. Austin had slipped and was now talking a lot, but Jared let it slip, letting his friend chatter in the background as he continued to reply to the emails in his inbox.

His mind kept drifting to the surprise he was planning in the coming weeks. Hopefully, Darnell would say yes to that, and they would start a new chapter of their lives together. Just thinking about waking up next to Darnell every morning made Jared's heart swoon. They would eat breakfast together, do mundane things like laundry together, try to make it in time for work/university, and Jared wouldn't mind a pet if someone was helping him take care of one. Jared's face hit up as he paused typing up an email response to a student asking for extra credit. Why was the thought of doing mundane household things with Darnell making his heart beat faster? Was it because he hadn't done that in a long while? He's been living alone ever since he moved out of his parents' house, and he guessed that maybe he missed playing house a bit.

His heart was yearning to function as a family with Darnell. Not kids and all that — just them — well, for the time being. Darnell had to get a little older before Jared suggested anything like that. Jared could wait for that. He would wait a hundred years if he had to. All he knew was that he wanted all that with Darnell, and nobody else.