9 Like Sugar | Chapter Nine

Abby did as she promised and stopped dropping by at Jared's office at random hours. She now came at office hours, and although two or three other people were usually there along with her, there were rare days when she was the only one that came by to ask for help.

Jared was frustrated with her. She knew everything. She was ahead of the class in her reading, assignments — everything. He couldn't understand why she kept coming over to bother him. Jared got lost in his mind when explaining something to her, which was unlike himself. He couldn't help it. He just couldn't be bothered especially when he knew she didn't need the help. He felt bad when she nudged him back to reality or gave him a sad frown, but he couldn't feel bad about it. There was nothing to teach her, and she was just wasting his time.

Today was one of those days where she was the only one that came by, and like any other day when she was the only one asking for help, Jared was zoning out. Most times he would just stare off into space, but today he replied to Darnell's texts as Abby rambled on about the formula to him. Jared wasn't sure if he spent too long chatting with Darnell, but what he knew was that he had spent enough time on his phone for Abby to get up and walk up behind him. He only realized that something was out of place when it dawned on him that Abby had stopped talking. He looked up from his phone, noticing she was not on her seat before looking over his shoulder find Abby standing behind him. He slipped his phone under his notebook when he noticed that blonde girl with crystal blue eyes was staring at his screen.

"I—" he started before closing his mouth that had been open in shock. He bit down on his bottom lip, not knowing what to say or where to start. He wondered if Abby saw anything incriminating, but he couldn't tell from the blank look in her face. The two stared at each other for a while, waiting for the other person to talk first.

Abby sighed as her gaze moved to the floor. She couldn't look at Jared, she felt embarrassed and pushed aside. "You're seeing someone," she said, making Jared tense up. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Abby had been able to decipher that from the texts. Abby gave Jared a small smile. The way he was reacting to her statement was all the confirmation she needed that her guess was true.

"She's very lucky," Abby muttered, walking back to the chair she had been sitting on. She didn't sit back down, however. Abby packed up her books before stuffing them in her bag. her face had gone a deep pink and she was blinking back like she had something in her eyes. Jared might have just been confused but he could swear that Abby looked upset about him texting Darnell.

No, that couldn't be it. Maybe something came up and she had to leave because of that. Abby said a quick goodbye under her breath before her office and shut the door.

Jared stared at the door for a while, still shocked at what had just happened. He had to be a lot more careful now. With a long sigh, he leaned back on his chair, slouching. He was just glad that Abby didn't pick out that Darnell was a man through their texts. Sure, he was already out, but not to every Nick and Tom in the world. He didn't need his students chatting about his sex and dating life during his class, while he tried to teach up front in the lecture room. Jared took his phone out of its hiding place before going back to the chat he was having with Darnell. He apologized for leaving him in the middle of a conversation, before explaining that he had to get back to work.

Message from: Darnell.

It's okay. You were messaging me at work? LOL, don't feel like you have to answer me while you're working. I could wait a few hours.

WED, 5:06 PM.

Jared read Darnell's response. It's not like he felt inclined to answer Darnell immediately after he texted him, but Jared himself didn't want to wait. He wanted to talk to Darnell as much as possible, but there was anxiety around sending the first text that plagued him. What if Darnell didn't read it? What if Darnell read it and laughed? What if the way he tried to start the conversation was too out there and generally ridiculous? So many doubts that drowned his mind that he just settled for letting Darnell message him first, and he jumped at it as fast as a cat on a mouse toy.

Jared almost dropped his phone when the door his office flung open. He relaxed when he looked and saw it was Austin walking in. He sighed, sitting up on his chair as his friend walked over to the seat beside his desk. He really wished the man would start knocking and stop scaring him.

"What were you doing that made you so scared? Watching porn?" Austin asked, laughing in a way that made his whole body shake. He seemed very proud of his joke, though Jared wasn't amused. The physics professor had turned a deep red as his eyes went wide. He was horrified at the accusation.

"Lighten up," Austin said, reaching out to nudge Jared by the shoulder. "It was a joke."

Jared sighed. "You know I'm not good with jokes," he said, taking his phone out of its hiding place again.

"You'll learn with time," Austin said, taking out a cigarette pack and lighter from his pockets. He took out a cigarette, lighting it as he watched Jared begin to pack up. His office hours had ended about five or so minutes ago.

"So, anything about Darnell?" Austin asked, making Jared look over at the man. His face warmed up. Jared looked down at the papers on his table, shrugging. He didn't really have anything special to say.

"Did you use the toys I gave you?" Austin asked, and Jared nodded, making his friend's grin widen and fill up his round face. "It worked didn't it?" Well, Jared wasn't the judge of that, but he assumed Darnell liked it.

"I guess," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Great."

The office went quiet for a while. Usually, this was the time Austin would jump in to talk about his own partner, rambling on about how amazing the man was as he went through his pack of cigarettes.

"Jared, I need so advice," Austin spoke up after he blew a stream of smoke to his left. Jared rose a brow at him. Him? Advice? Austin did know who he was talking to right? "How stupid on a scale of one to ten am I to think that it's appropriate to propose to Yves?" Jared's eyes went wide with surprise. Yves was the person Austin often referred to as his 'partner.' It was the young man Austin had gotten an arrangement with.

Jared rested back on his chair, looking at Austin. The man looked flustered as he licked his lips and tried to arrange his hair in a way that wouldn't give away the small bald spot forming at the center.

"Propose to him? What? Why?" Jared couldn't even make full sentences to express his shock.

"I think I'm in love with him Jared," Austin explained, sighing as he pulled his chair forward and folded his hand on Jared's table. "Our contract ends in a few months, and he's thinking of traveling back to France. He hasn't mentioned renewing the contract, so I'm worried," Austin explained as Jared listened.

"Then how in the world would proposing to him help?" Jared asked, his voice becoming a little high as he expressed his concern. Jared did think Austin was crazy, but a kind of crazy he personally wished he was. He couldn't even look at Darnell too long without thinking the younger man would suddenly understand that he had feelings for him. Thinking of telling Darnell about how he felt had him shivering and shaking his head. He wasn't that brave.

"I don't know. We've been doing this for three years. Maybe he feels the same way? I don't know, I'm just trying my luck," Austin explained, his voice becoming smaller as he explained his idea. It seemed that he was starting to realize how ridiculous it sounded because he kept quiet, muttering something under his breath before looking up at Jared again with a forced frown on his face. "Well, your reaction says enough about what you think of it. Let's go back to talking about you. How's your sex life?"

"It's fine."

"Don't give me that bullshit, go into detail," Austin said, rolling his eyes at his friend's bashful nature. He watched as Jared's face turned red, his big nose and ears being the reddest parts. The man laughed, resting back on his seat and laughing. "From the way you're acting you'd think that I didn't eat ass too."

"What?" Jared asked, frowning.

"You know, we're both gay men. Eating ass—"

"That's a thing that people do? It's not just figurative?" Jared asked, cutting Austin off. The older man folded his hands, his mouth opened a little as he stared at Jared with shock.

"Now I know why hiring sex workers was such a shitty experience for you. Jesus, did you just sit there and have things done to you with no input from your end at all?" Austin asked, tsking as he shook his head from side to side. "You don't eat ass? Come on, man, that's our homosexual staple," Austin said placing his first hand over his palm and imitating a priest holding out holy communion. The man started laughing at his own joke, and Jared just stared at him, still horrified.

"Okay, okay," Jared started, trying to get Austin to stop laughing. The older man sucked in his lips, trying to stop his laughter. "How do you even go about that?" Jared asked, looking down at his desk before resting his chin on his palm. Everything was so confusing. He was as inexperienced as it got.

"Just lick around there, and help him loosen up," Austin explained.

"Is that sanitary?" Jared asked in a small voice.

"If you can put a dick in your mouth you can put your mouth in an anus." Austin shook his head. He was in complete disbelief at how clueless Jared was. Jared just stared at him blankly, still looking like he didn't understand what Austin was telling him to do.

"Oh no," Austin started, covering his face with his hand as he shook his head. "You don't suck dick either, do you?" he asked, removing his hands and folding them under his chin.

Jared didn't say anything, but the way his face turned a deeper shade of red made Austin know that his speculation was a fact. "Lord in heaven, you're a basket case," Austin muttered, shaking his head before lighting another cinerite. "When next are you meeting up with Darnell?" Jared asked.

"Friday," Jared answered, watching as his friend that got the faraway look on his face that meant he was plotting something.

"One day, huh? Not enough time to know what you're doing, but I'm sure he'll appreciate the effort," Austin said, nodding to himself like he was making mental notes. "Can you give me your personal email? Can't send porn to your school email now, can I? Austin said. Jared nodded, raising his phone before texting Austin his personal email address.

For the rest of the time Austin spent in Jared's office, the man went on about how Darnell must be bored to tears having to sleep with Jared. Jared tried to ignore his friend's words. He knew Austin was only trying to help, and if anyone could tell him the bitter truth it was Austin and his big mouth. The man was rude and blunt with his language, and it was something Jared was still trying to get used to. When Jared was done packing up, the two left his office and Jared bid his friend farewell as he made a turn in direction of another hall.

When Jared got in his car and started driving home his mind wandered to what Austin had said about his partner. He wondered if there was a time — maybe in the far future, where he would be that desperate to keep Darnell. They had a long contract, spanning Darnell's whole college education. Jared still had about three years, but the time frame didn't keep his nerves down. Many things could happen, maybe Darnell didn't want to go to university anymore, and just like that their contract would dissolve. Or, Darnell found another way to pay it off.

Jared sighed, trying not let his train of thought bother him. That was the problem with only having money to offer, you were so easily replaceable in a relationship. Jared didn't want to be replaced, but the reality was that he didn't really have a say in the matter. What could he really do but give Darnell money? You couldn't give someone money until they loved you. That didn't work. He knew that. So what else? He had the social skills of a goldfish and the personality of a rock. Maybe even though he was lacking in the attractiveness department, being good at sex might help?

"Gosh," Jared whispered to himself as he stopped at a red light and looked over at the star of David that was dangling from a chain wrapped around him drivers mirror. Jared had a lot of wishes. He wished he hadn't been born ugly. He wished he hadn't grown up in a very sex repulsed religious family. He wished he confident like Austin. Life hadn't been fair to him, but at least it had given him Darnell, even though it was for a little while.

Jared let out a breath before removing his leg from the break when the light turned green. He'd wait patiently for Austin's email and take things from there.