14 Trust and Doubt

"It's nice weather, why don't we go for a walk?" Aris asked, he was sitting on the other side of Lumielle's bed as he tentatively brought out the inquiry. To say that he hadn't noticed his sister's passiveness would be a lie. She rarely left her room, preferring to stay in bed and read books even when the weather was beautiful.

Once more, Lumielle closed the book that she was reading—it was regarding Western affairs as she gave him a smile, "You just don't want to study, do you?" She teased as Aris scowled.

Glancing outside, she did have to say that the weather was warm and almost perfect. The two of them had moved into the Emerald Palace about a week ago. The Ruby Palace could not compare to the beauty of the Emerald Palace. Though it had been abandoned, the maids that she had hired quickly cleaned up the dusty areas while the butlers finessed the windows and curtains. By the time the two siblings arrived, it was a splendid palace befitting the both of them.

Yet, what she loved most were the gardens. The Ruby Palace didn't have much greenery, a simple long winding path that went to some rose bushes. The Emerald Palace had gotten its name due to the viridescent plants and greenery. Lumielle would have loved to spend every single day in the sun, but the aching agony of her feet had kept her bedridden. It seemed that Aris had caught wind of it which was why she knew better than to stay indoors for today, "Alright, why don't we go and take a walk?"

Evangeline begrudgingly put a dress on for her. A lace-filled pale yellow dress that complimented her eyes. Her hair had been placed in a long braid running down her back—she remembered when she had asked Evangeline if she was pretty and the response she had gotten was laughter with a quick nod. Still, Lumielle did not seem to comprehend that she was indeed quite stunning. Comparing herself to Cosette, she had always felt inferior when it came to her appearance.

Cosette had become the lily of the valley—fair platinum hair with dark grey eyes. With thick lashes and pink lips, she looked like a doll with her small stature and lovely smile. Most men became smitten with her without a second glance; meanwhile, Lumielle had never felt the love of a man. The door opened and Aris was already there. He was growing taller as she took his arm and he escorted her.

"Do you like it here?" Lumielle asked softly, her eyes looking at the beautiful flowers as Aris gave an enthusiastic nod. Everything about the Emerald Palace was better; it was made for the Crown Prince. The training grounds, the greenery, the interior, the rooms—the quality was much greater than that of the Ruby Palace. It was only second to the Diamond Palace, where their late mother had stayed.

"You didn't need to do that," Lumielle spoke.

"You do a lot of things alone. You always do. You've always looked out for me. You're only a year older than me and," he paused. That was true, physically, she was only a year older. Yet, Lumielle had retained her memories from the past. The reason she excelled was not because of her innate ability but because of her sins and her past crimes.

"I'm your older sister. You should let me act like one." She smiled at him as he bit his lip; it seemed both siblings had a habit of doing it.

Aris's eyes met her own, their gait slowing down. "I don't want to be babied by you," he mumbled, "I want you to share things with me. I-I want you to tell me if something's wrong so I can help you." He had been training with Rowan when it came to swordsmanship so that he could use a blade if the situation required. He studied hard with the Viscountess so that he would not bring shame to Lumielle.

Her eyes widened at the volume of his words, "Aris," she whispered her fingers gently brushing across his cheek. She hadn't realized the magnitude of the weight that had been pressing down on his shoulders.

"You always do things alone. Doesn't it get to be too much?" He begged—in her eyes, Aris was still a child but she had forgotten to realize that Aris still believed that she was also a young child. Sometimes, she wanted to tell him about everything. What she had done and the horrible atrocities she had committed. She wanted to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness. Then again, that day would come. Lumielle would plead and expiate everything that consumed her chest and soul. She would be in admittance but today was not the day. Her brother was still too young and the knowledge of her crimes would only hinder him.

"So, can you tell me why you're in your room all day? You always visited the gardens in the Ruby Palace but haven't even gone once."

Lumielle did not want to deceive her younger brother; she did not want to tell him any lies, but she could not tell him the truth. The Countess and her abuse would become a critical part of her plan in the future; she needed the Countess to feel indebted to her for Lumielle knew her secret. She would use this pain and agony as her bargaining chip for leveraging power. If she threatened to let this leak, then the Countess would have to follow her every word.

"It's nothing. Really," Lumielle said, finally speaking and attempting to soothe him.

His eyes darkened for a second, "Do you think I'm stupid, Mielle?" His voice had gotten serious. His sister, his precious older sister, didn't tell him anything. She had taken away all of his problems; she had done so much for him, and yet, she refused to let anyone take part of her burden.

Never had he acted like this in his first life. The ramifications of her giving him a sustainable environment was starting to bear fruit. He was able to think freely; make his own judgments without anyone else. He was not completely dependent on Lumielle. Nor, did he listen to everything she said. Aris was becoming his own independent person and he was starting to question everything, including her. Lumielle was proud.

"Aris, it's nothing. Don't concern yourself with something that doesn't exist," she responded firmly. He gritted his teeth.

"Fine, I won't!" He responded back, his words were equally firm and stubborn. "I won't concern myself with it anymore, because you don't even trust me enough to say anything." His ochroid eyes flashed with annoyance as he attempted to quell the desperation that existed inside of him.

Lumielle exhaled, her head starting to pound, "Aris, I trust you more than anything. You know that."

"There's a difference between trust and believing in someone, Mielle."

She did believe in Aris. She believed that Aris would always be by her side; she had committed herself to this idea. Yet, even when he had ascended the throne, Mielle did not tell her brother what she had done. Silently, she moved like a wraith in the night to depose any threats to his crown. She acted by herself, tainting her fingers in red. Her brother had said something similar in the past.

After learning about the forged Letter from God, he had gripped the table, "You're the only one I have, Mielle! Why can't you trust me?!" He angrily scattered the papers on the ground as Lumielle watched him with an impassive look on her face.

Aris seemed to have regained his composure, "I'll go in first. Stay out here for a bit, you should enjoy the gardens." He turned on his heel, plying Lumielle's hands off of his arm and walking back inside.

She could only watch him go. The lavender-haired female found a bench to sit upon as she leaned back; the sun tickling her face. Aris was upset at her; he did his best to control his annoyance but she could see it. "Ah," she exhaled; this was the first time that he had done this. In the past, Lumielle would have never thought that Aris would ever say words like that. In fact, she found it inconceivable. In a way, she was proud. He was growing less-dependent on her. Yet, he was starting to question her far quicker than in her first life.

His ignorance had served well for Lumielle who maneuvered around the wool that was pulled over his eyes. Yet, now she was unable to do such a thing. How would she even apologize? Was there an apology that needed to be given? Lumielle was quite horrible at relationships; she had realized that. Her idealism only existed when it came to her interpersonal bonds with others. She projected and when that projection fell flat, she was left confounded and angered. Thus, in this life, Lumielle decided that she would have no expectations for anyone. Lumielle would not build people up for them to disappoint her.

"Princess, how long have you been out here?!" Sylvia asked as Lumielle glanced at the young maid.

"Leo's been looking for you everywhere!"

She had forgotten how much time she had spent in the gardens, it seemed enough to raise concern, "Is Aris inside? It's time for dinner isn't it?"

There was an uncomfortable look on Sylvia's face, "The Prince already ate and said that you could eat by yourself, Princess."

This brat. Sighing, she nodded as she stood up—the pain in her feet flaring up once more, "That's fine. I'm not very hungry so would you just bring a light snack to my room?"

Sylvia nodded as the two walked back to the castle. It was not very far and once they were inside, Sylvia tentatively broke the silence, "Princess," she started as Lumielle gazed at her with a nod as if to tell her to continue, "Did you and the Prince fight?"

Lumielle exhaled; it was pointless to hide it from Sylvia, "I think we did."