12 The Big Mustache

As I woke up from my sleep, I contemplated over the furries I fucked in my dream and how gay they looked.

I lifted my hands from under my black blanket and grabbed my phone, then went towards the bathroom.

As usual, let's do my introductions: I'm Big Mustache; the man with the biggest dick and mustache in the world. For me, there is no comparison; my mustache is bigger than a certain trap's dick….

Okay okay, the trap's dick was larger. My mustache is a bit tinier than it, but still massive.

Don't believe me?

With a flip of my hands, I grabbed the black blanket from my bed and stuffed it in my nose, and sniffed it like it was pussy.

The strands of thick and sharp hair tickled my nostrils as I looked down, and saw that the blanket wasn't a blanket, but massive bushes of hair all connected to my upper nose.

I wear no clothes either bitch! Look down! I'm naked! I never wear anything except my mustache! Mwhahahahahah! The Mustache brings all the ladies to my house; I don't even need a dick, my mustache is enough to pleasure them till they call me 'onii-chan'.

Smirking like a villain in a certain Naruto episode, I brushed my teeth and combed my mustache; I combed it thoroughly until it felt like velvet to my touch!

I looked down and saw my naked deck. Shying away from its sight I grabbed my mustache and wrapped it around my thighs; forming a shawl-type of cloth and making me look like a caveman.

My daily life is just like this: I wake up and comb my mustache, and troll pewdiepie fans.

I went to my computer and started YouTube, and uploaded a new video of "how to grow a mustache like a caveman and pls donate to my *******"

Then I raged at poopdiepie fans; because I vehemently hate them! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

However, as I was typing my eloquent and mustache-y reply to some weird braggart with a Kite in his profile picture, a loli slipped into my room and shut the door.

Oh no, is this my "my imouto can't be this cute" moment where she mistakenly enters my room naked thinking it's the bathroom?!?!???

I turned around and saw a bearded, but beautiful loli with a little figure madly grinning and running towards me

With a bottle of silicone lube and a box of condoms.