Chapter Forty-three

Tired. That's what Bella felt of every single thing if not life itself. She didn't even have the energy to feel anything else towards Deacon who was still locked up in a basement somewhere. Neither did she have the strength to deal with the incessant thought of the man that was the reason behind who she was.

In all the chaos, she realised she had missed one person, the bane of her existence, the one that had twisted her fragile mind into what it was today, her foster father who she was yet to even see more so hear of, not that she would seek him out, she would leave that for another day.

The hot water did little to calm her mind down and more to dehydrate her skin, and she shut the water off and walked into the bathroom in a guestroom. In her robe, she was making her way to the kitchen when she passed Luka's room, his door was slightly ajar and she couldn't help her curiosity.

She tip toed towards the door and pushed it open a tad bit more simply to have a peak inside. She wasn't expecting to be met with a struggling Luka that winced every now and again and groaned in frustration as he tried to undo the bandages around his torso. With a sigh, she found her feet having their own mind and before she knew it, she was before him.

She knelt on the floor before the man, a cotton in hand as she made work to apply some salve on his wounds, she grit her teeth at the discoloration around his ribs and she was certain he wasn't meant to be sitting up with his ribs broken.

However, she kept silent as she mutely made to take care of the man that simply watched her careful hands that felt delicate against his skin. He found that he understood why she had been so mysterious with him before, not giving away too much on just who she was. Considering how the underworld viewed her, he found it was only fair that she kept such detail close to her chest, not that he would have done anything to put her in harms way.

It also made sense with the prowess she possessed, her abilities and strength, he still thought her remarkable and he wanted her even more for that. She was 'reina' material and he aimed to make her his. He just had to have her abandon her reckless ways a bit, because she was too wild and that worried him, especially now that everyone knew just who actually was behind the yellow cloak.

After all, she had been nothing short of a tall tale in the underworld, a person that never let another see them and actually live to tell the tale. He still couldn't comprehend that the gentle woman could be as brutal as he had heard she could be. At that thought, the image of Annette came to mind and he mentally shuddered, for that had been quite the display she had put on. Yet for some reason a smile crept onto his lips and Bella didn't miss it

"What the hell are you smiling about?" She asked as she stood up to discard the dirty bandages and he simply looked at her in a way she didn't like. For that look seemed to have enough power to disarm her defences.

"Just what a hot nutcase you can be." Luka said, thinking her to be quite the badass. His tone was lightly teasing as if testing the waters. Bella's forehead creased and she said

"Didn't realise you were into mentally disturbed women" she said and he chuckled then

"I'm not. Just my sunshine" he said with a shrug

"Don't let Lorenzo hear you insult me like that" she said, a weary smile on her lips

"You're a spoilt brat you know that" he said with a smile telling her it wasn't an insult, as he shook his head as if in disapproval of something

"I'm not " brows creased, she defended

"Yes you are, if I were your grandfather, I would have locked you in your room to keep you from interfering in things bigger than you" Luka knew he had done it then with his words. However, they were nothing but his truth, and he felt they needed to be said

"Excuse me!?" Bella said with a quirked eyebrow and she turned to fully face the man from across the room where she stood.

"Just what the hell were you thinking, huh do you know juts how many enemies you not only made but have now? to make it worse, you've exposed who you are, just how ignorant can you be?" Luka said, his mood having took a turn from the earlier lighter tone that was in the room, as he couldn't keep his thoughts from spiralling.

"Fuck you, why the heck do you even care. You're the one with an engagement ring" Bella spat with anger at how he had the nerve to say what he said, as if he thought her actions were unjustified. It partly made her feel like he didn't even care why she had done what she did and that stung. To the point she couldn't stop her words

"Watch your language with me Sunshine, your body count means shit to me" Luka reprimanded when she raised her tone at him along with her cursing. It wasn't that he didn't care for her motives, but simply how she had gone about her plan and placed herself in danger.

"Which one?" She questioned. Her defiant eyes daring and she pushed a button she knew would get a reaction out of him. She knew him to be a jealous man and he proved her right with his next words

"Piccola, don't test me right now" warned Luka with narrowed greys and she rolled her eyes then and made to walk out of the room for she wasn't in the mood for arguments, she frankly didn't have any more energy for it

"Hey, you don't get to walk away from me" Luka said as he painfully stood up and made to walk after her

"Many people won't care who your family is out there Bella, you've messed with them before, one way or another and others will be just as driven as you in getting their vengeance, what then huh?" He added and she stopped then and turned to loom at the man

"And why do you make it sound like I'd be facing them alone?" and although her question was cheeky, a part of her feared he wouldn't back her up when time came to it

"Don't twist my words little one, I'm not playing that game with you?" He carefully said and she scoffed

"How would I know that, Andreas?" Referring to the fact that he had had no problem being engaged with another woman when he had so boldly claimed her to be his before. And although she had turned him down on that, she had also liked that he had claimed her to be his like he had.

"Just how do you think I felt when I saw them have their guns aimed at you huh? are your simply suicidal or something? do you not care at all what your death would do to the people that love and care about you?" Luka couldn't help his words then, he simply wanted her to understand where he was coming from, what he meant from his words

"You love me?" Bella hopefully questioned, her eyes clashing with his greys with her whispered words

"Bella. You had me terrified, I've already lost so much, I can't loose you too" Luka finally admitted, a pained expression on his face and that tugged on her heartstrings for she understood what it is he meant. He looked down on his hands as his fingers made work to remove the ring on his finger, holding it up, he said "And this, this meant nothing, means nothing" he emphasised before throwing it somewhere in in the room. With a sigh she said

"I'm sorry. You're right, I'll do better, well...try to be more careful" letting out a small chuckle at his quirked brow at her words as if to say 'really', she continued  "I promise" with a smile she walked towards him only to tightly wrap her arms around his waist, causing him to hiss from slight ache. She merely smiled and craned her head so she was looking at his

"Serves you right. Now will you lay in bed for a while. I'd rather have a living and functioning being for a boyfriend, not a corpse" she said and he shot her a beaming smile then, that cause her to blush, and even more so when he teased at her exposed words

"Boyfriend, huh" she slapped His chest and he winced through an amused chuckle. His arm around her shoulder, he too lightly balanced on her as he walked towards his bed. When he was comfortably laying on his bed, he was quick to grab Bella's wrist when she had started walking away

"Sleep in here tonight,?" He asked, she didn't miss his del desire for her to do so, therefore she caved from his hopeful tone.

"Its already dawn actually." She said and when she saw his face seem fallen. She added

"Just give me a few minutes" to which he nodded with a tight-lipped smile of satisfaction.

(Careful I don't kill him in your sleep.) Sin taunted and Bella's heart skipped a beat at her tone in that minute. 

(I don't take well to threats Bella. You know that don't you?) The question was rhetorical and Bella tried to wreck her brain for a solution.

After all. She knew that although she was in charge most of the time, Sin could take over if she really wanted to. That very realisation was chilling in itself, that she wasn't truly in control as she would like to be. She said nothing at Sin's words and she heard the voice let out a cold laugh

(You really amuse me sweet Bella.)

Perhaps she shouldn't have made the threat of getting rid of the voice in her head, knowing exactly how sensitive that topic was and how defensive Sin would be. It was like that red button you're told not to push, and it seemed in a fit of anger and tension, Bella had pushed it.  She had only ever done that once before, the very first time she had begun therapy.

Bella had wanted nothing but to get rid of the malicious violent voice in her head, and therefore, she had been open to anything that would aid her in doing so. Hence she had tried every exercise the therapist had told her and with that she had simply made the voice even worse.

It had been like adding gasoline to an already blazing fire. And that is why, Bella was now certain that she wasn't truly entirely in control, for Sin had taken over so easily then, and it had been for days, memories that she would never remember, for the part of the brain that had been present didn't want to remember.

Perhaps she didn't want to remember too, know just what she had done on the missions she had clearly been sent on, that had also been time she would never get back. She had settled for pills then, that had been the only thing Sin seemed to be amenable to, for they weren't a guarantee of getting rid of her for good.

They weren't a threat to its existence, just simple pills that had simply made Bella feel more in charge of her own mind and less susceptible to follow Sin's chilling suggestions. For when you've had a voice in your mind, a non stop chattering of words, they end up being like they were yours to begin with. Quite a dangerous thing that would be in her case.

Putting Sin in the back of her mind, although she was now slightly on edge, she walked back upstairs with a tub of chocolate ice cream hoping whoever it belonged to wouldn't catch her in the act. Along with that she had a bottle of water and coffee flavoured waffles plus a fruit salad. In that moment, she really wished she was back in Italy raiding her nonna's refrigerator for some left over arancini instead.

Luka let out an amused painful laugh he couldn't help when he saw her walk in with a tray of food. Of course that's what she had left the room to go fetch and nothing else.

"What? I'm hungry and its already morning." She defended and he raised his hands in mock surrender

"I'm not judging" and she playfully narrowed her eyes at him, pursed lips she said

"Mhmm, sure you aren't"