22 Chapter 21: Awakened Anger

There's a whole dead silence between us in the car. He's still sitting in the driver's seat, and I'm still in my seat too. It's a dead silence but strangely not awkward. We were just there sitting in the car quietly.

I glinted at the gate of Hermit Homes. The fancy cursive writing on the gate, especially the two H's really stood out.

"I'm surprised that you're taking everything so easily. This isn't a scenario I pictured in my head while I was debating whether to tell you the whole truth or not."

I turned my head on him. "Why? What picture did you have in your mind?"

"I pictured you being so shocked, not able to believe my confession, and in the worst case, running away from me. I tortuously prepared myself for the worst scenario."

"Most of the things in our life are beyond our control. The only thing we can control is our response to those things. We can only choose how we react because we can't stop things from happening even if we want to. And I'm choosing to stay calm even after hearing you're from a completely different world than mine. Because nothing good will come out if I deal with it emotionally."

"At times like this, I'm so glad you're logical."

Logical…

He just doesn't know that this is not me being logical and reasonable at all. This is just because I already knew everything before he told me. If we are in a normal relationship and if I was really oblivious about the fact that he's a prince, after knowing the truth, I know I would've reacted so differently. I would've foolishly thought we're not meant to be, I would cry on the corner, and worse, I would've tried to break up with him.

But because I know, because this is actually good for my plan, it is why I was able to react as calmly as this.

And Neuron doesn't even know that. And he's being relieved by the idea that I'm logical and not emotional and willing to cling to him without knowing everything is just a lie.

"I know it's selfish of me to ask you to stay. I'm not trying to pressure you by mentioning marriage and you being the queen. I know. We are still in the early stage of our relationship. I'm just telling you the possibilities of what will happen if you stay with me so that you'll have the variables to weigh to decide if you wanna take that road with me or go on a separate path."

No matter how I see it, Neuron's plan about our relationship is explicitly expressed. He always has marriage in mind. It's like he's telling me: 'If you leave, then leave. But if you stay, you'll marry me.'

He took my hand and held it tightly. "I'm not forcing you to stay." He tightened his grip again on my hand so I ended up cracking up. It's like he's saying he will respect my decision of leaving but means the opposite.

"You're not forcing me to stay but you're holding my hand so tightly? Are you sure, Prince Neuron?"

He let go of the tension in his hand and held me more comfortably. "Did I do that?"

I nodded while chuckling.

"I'm really not forcing you. I will respect your decision," he confirmed but he sounded so unconvinced and a hint of insincerity was laced on his voice.

"I'm just a commoner. Will the royal family and even the Maharlicans accept me as a queen?"

"Doesn't matter," came his quick answer. "What matters is what I think."

Our conversation stopped when a car passed in front of Neuron's car and stopped in front of the Hermit Homes' gate.

We were about to ignore it but then someone familiar stepped out of the car. My body instantly tensed up.

"What is the People's Rep doing here?" Neuron uttered.

Exactly! What is the Chief doing here?! And why now when Neuron is here?!

Before I could even stop Neuron he already unfastened his seat belt and looked at me. "Come on, I'll introduce you to him."

What?!

I had no choice but to also step out of the car.

"Mr. Pablo!" he called the Chief merrily.

The Chief, who was wearing very casual and informal clothes, turned around to see who called him and he was taken aback when he learned that it was the prince. But his gaze widened more when he saw me.

The black slacks he was wearing coupled with a simple polo shirt gave him a typical commoner look, which I am not used to seeing.

The Chief immediately cleaned his face from any expression.

With his arm wrapped around me, Neuron led me closer to Chief Pablo.

"Your High--" the Chief bent his body in a thirty-degree angle but stopped and stared at me.

"It's okay, Mr. Pablo. She knows." Neuron informed. When the Chief heard that he resumed his greeting.

"I formally greet you, Your Highness, Prince Neuron."

Neuron then introduced me to the Chief by saying, "She's my girl. Beautiful, right?"

The Chief shifted his gaze at me and bowed his head to me. "Nice to meet you, young lady."

When I saw the Chief bowing to me, it didn't make sense to me at all. How could I let the Chief bow to me?! This is preposterous!

I bowed to him much lower than he did. "No sir, the honor is mine."

I couldn't accept that I just made the Chief bow to me! Any Somara or Somaro will kill themselves if the Chief will ever lower his head for them. This is unacceptable to us. That's how much we revere the Chief.

Neuron looked at me happily. He looks like he is glad that we met the Chief. I don't know anything about the Chief's relationship with the royal family, much less with Neuron, but I'm pretty sure his relationship with Mirando is not that well. So it's kind of surprising to me that Neuron seems happy to see him.

"He's my favorite person in the palace," he declared to me.

Favorite person?

I looked at the Chief who was purposely avoiding my stare.

"Why? How about your father?"

"Long story. But if you're interested in what's happening in the palace, you'll know why. Besides, everyone loves him," he asserted, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Then he looked at me and asked, "Don't you?"

"Of course. I respect him so much. Very much." I feel like this is the most truthful answer I've ever said to Neuron. Out of every lie, this is the most truthful.

"I'm flattered, Your Highness," the Chief humbly commented. "I am only doing my best to represent our people."

"Now that I think of it, you have the same surname." Neuron mentioned thoughtlessly but with awe. But that thoughtless remark made the Chief and I tense up. "Are you perhaps.."

I started to become deaf because of the loud drumming from my chest.

What will he say? What will he ask? Is he suspecting us?

"Are you perhaps relatives?"

Even though subtle, I could feel how the Chief released the tension from his body by dropping his tensed-up shoulder.

The Chief innocently smiled at the prince. "We could be. Who knows, right?"

Neuron looks so carefree. Like he's so comfortable. He's smiling and just so relaxed. Which indicates that the two seem to be pretty close.

"What are you doing here, by the way? Wearing casual clothes, which is so unlikely of you." He eyed the Chief's clothes. The Chief often wears black suits, and I guess I'm not the only one who isn't used to his commoner-like look. "And you didn't bring your guards too," Neuron added.

"I don't want to draw attention since I'm just here to visit a friend," the Chief answered politely and glanced at me very quickly.

Is he here to visit me? Probably. Because why else would he be here?

"And this is where being a hidden prince gives an advantage. I can freely go wherever I want," Neuron expressed playfully.

"How about you, Your Highness? What are you doing here?" the Chief asked in return. "Shouldn't you be in the palace?"

Neuron pulled me closer to him by tightening his hold on my arm. "My lady lives here. I took her home. You know I'm a gentleman, Mr. Pablo."

They both laughed at Neuron's cockiness.

And I wonder. How long will this happy relationship between them last? Will they be the same even after Mirando is dead?

Neuron will feel betrayed by his favorite person. By the person he favored more than his own father. And by the person he calls his lady.

After an exchange of a few sentences, the Chief left us by entering the compound with his car after getting permission from the guard. Neuron then embraced me and kissed me on my forehead.

"I hope you enjoyed my company today."

"I did. And thanks for stealing me away from work. Thanks to that I have to work overtime tonight," I sarcastically replied to be consistent with my lie about being a calligrapher. I'm getting better and better at deceiving him each day.

He laughed. "I don't feel sorry at all."

I punched his stomach slightly. "Asshole."

I watched him walk towards his car. He looked back at me while smiling and waved his hand at me. I smiled back at him. I watched his car drive farther and farther until I couldn't see it anymore.

I hurriedly went inside the compound, rode a golf cart, and went straight to the Chastity Building. When I saw the Chief's car parked in front of the fountain I quickened my pace, rode the elevator towards the 6th floor, and found the Chief waiting outside my apartment.

"Chief!" I immediately called. "I'm so sorry for making you wait."

He just shook his head as a way to tell me not to be bothered by it.

I opened my apartment and led him inside. He looked around inside and surveyed my tiny living room, with a flat-screen television in front, a square-shaped coffee table in the middle, and a six-seater L-shaped checkered sofa, and a night lamp at the back.

I came to stare at the newspapers I bought this morning that were scattered on the coffee table.

Oh, f--k!

I rushed towards the table and organized them within three seconds and placed them underneath the table. I crammed.

"How's your new home? Is it okay with you?"

"Yes, Chief! This is more than enough for me. I never got to thank you properly for providing me this privilege."

He sat down on the sofa and placed his phone on the table in front of him. I kinda felt anxious.

I didn't clean the apartment!

I subtly stared down on the floor to check if it's not dusty. And thank goodness I couldn't spot any dust.

Then I remember that I forgot the most basic manner. "What can I serve you, Chief? Juice? Water?"

He shook his head again. "We're going somewhere. First, let me use your toilet."

Oh my ghad. The toilet? I hope the toilet room is as spotless as it could be.

"Yes, Chief. This way."

I guided him towards the toilet room. And before letting him in, I checked the toilet room beforehand, and good thing it wasn't untidy or dirty in any way.

Then I headed towards my bedroom to change my clothes. I tried to fix and arrange the little mess I had in my apartment on the way. How could I let the Chief stay inside an untidy place?

On the way to my room, I heard a phone ringing. It was the Chief's phone.

My Daughter calling…

That surprised me. Does the Chief have a daughter? I wasn't informed.

I chose to ignore the call to respect the Chief's private life and headed towards my room. It's fortunate that Neuron seems to be still in the oblivion of what is really happening. What a relief he didn't dig any deeper about me and the Chief having the same surname.

Well, the Chief was kind enough to let me use his family name.

Legally speaking, I am his adopted daughter. I abandoned my real identity to become part of Soma. That's how I turned from being Thrana Beatixi Canosa, daughter of President Alejandro Canosa to being Ratna Beatixi Pablo, a soldier of Maharlica.

Plus, the coincidence that my name is an anagram of Thrana, the name of the former president's daughter. With this much coincidence, we're lucky that Neuron isn't suspicious of anything.

But it's leerier that he isn't suspicious of anything. It's too odd for him not to notice anything. Or am I just overthinking everything?

Maybe this just means I earned Neuron's trust completely.

When the Chief called me, I hurriedly changed clothes and went out of the room. We both left my apartment and we rode in his car. He is driving the car himself.

I gathered the courage and asked politely. "Where are we going, Chief?"

"You'll know when we get there. There is this one thing I promised you. I'm keeping that promise now."

Promise? What promise?

"How's your mission, Paul? Are we still far from infiltrating the palace?"

I became silent. I don't know how to answer that. "We're getting there, Chief," I claimed. "I'll do everything to enter the palace within this week."

We never spoke again after that. And I'm surprised he didn't pry about my relationship with the prince.

The Chief is the closest to being the father figure to me. That's how important he is to me. Without him, I wouldn't have lived this long. I would've ended my life long ago.

I got confused when we stopped in front of a public cemetery.

"What are we doing here, Chief?"

Instead of answering me, he commanded, "Get out of the car."

Still confused, I opened the car door and stepped out. He handed me two candles and a few roses. He didn't say anything and just entered the cemetery. I followed him silently from behind.

Graves after graves aligned came to sight. There are graves as far as your eyes could see. The sun is almost setting and it's starting to get dark. Although the place is well lit, it still feels eerie knowing that hundreds of dead bodies are buried here.

Why do we have to come here when it's dark?

We stopped in a section where the light was a little bit dimmed. I looked up at the lamp post and it seems like the light bulb is almost worn off because the light it emulates is not as bright as the others. This section of graves looked lonelier than the other ones because it's not well lit.

The Chief stared solemnly at the two graves in front of him. I also traveled my eyes down towards those graves. And I felt how everything else around me slowly drifted away from my sight when I read whose graves I was looking at.

Amid the wispy surrounding, I could perfectly read the engraved names. Names I haven't heard for a long time. Names I haven't spoken for a long time. And names I have almost forgotten now.

Alejandro Canosa, a loving father...

Meldrid Canosa, a loving mother...

Reading those names. It's enough to bring tears to my eyes. It's enough to feel that familiar tightening in my chest.

I dropped my knees on the ground and I wailed relentlessly. I removed fallen dried leaves on top of their graves. It breaks my heart to see their graves so unattended.

Weeds are surrounding the graves and they almost covered up their graves so I started pulling each weed while wailing. It's heartbreaking. These weeds, these dried leaves, indicate that no one is remembering them. Even their own daughter.

I feel like my heart is being torn apart just thinking that no one even visits their graves.

Do they really deserve this insult?

"I'm sorry that I could only place them in a public cemetery. Back then, I was cautious of not drawing attention or any suspicion at all. I decided that they should be placed here and have a proper burial rather than being thrown away on a burrowed ground and just being buried with dirt without even having a casket. I managed to save their bodies from being thrown."

I clenched my fist hard. This extreme anger. This strong desire for revenge. This is exactly how I felt back then when I saw my parents' dead bodies. I wasn't even allowed to know where they were buried. And here they are all along. For such a long time, they've been here. They must've been lonely. They must've waited for me to come.

And I've only come now. Only now.

"Are you saying--" It's hard to even mutter a single word because I was crying so hard. "They were meant to be just thrown away?"

I'm livid. I'm fuming mad.

"I'm sorry, Thrana."

I shook my head. "No, you don't have to apologize. I should be thankful to you for burying them here."

As tears were streaming down my face, I lit the two candles. I placed one candle on my mother's grave and another on my father's. I also divided the roses and placed them on both of their graves.

Now that I am in front of my parents' graves, I am feeling this anger like everything just happened yesterday. And it made me realize that I somehow forgot what brought me here at this point in my life.

My anger, my desire for revenge, those are my driving force. And I am livid that I have forgotten them.

But now that the Chief brought me here, that forgotten anger is now awake. I needed this to snap out of my senses. This bone-trembling and blood-boiling anger, it's making me feel alive. Again.