6 State of mind

I was greeted at the door by Cassius. He was wearing what appeared to be a vintage Versace shirt with white vans, he was also gripping onto a cup( I suspected it was filled with alcohol).

"Hey, I'm glad you guys could make it!" He address Madison and I

"I'm glad you invited us" Madison expressed. She continued "I surprised your house is this massive!"

Cassius let out a laugh "The perks of your dad being an architect who is never home and your mother a therapist"

I was intrigued by the ability of a single smile and laugh. How the could allow you to say the darkest lines and still lighten up the atmosphere. Perhaps it wasn't the ability of a smile and laugh but rather Cassius himself. A smile and laugh could not remove the coldness of his gaze, it was for a brief moment, however it could not escape my attention for the simple reason, his eyes reminded me of my own in the moment. I observed all of this in silence. Cassius noticed my silenced and called out to me.

"So...Walter...you gonna do some party tricks on your wheelchair"

"Maybe if I have enough of whats in your cup I will" I remarked

"Well...don't let your legs stop your mouth from enjoying the devil's tears! Adios amigos!" he presented before disappearing into another room.

"Imma go get drinks. You coming?" Madison asked

"Sure! A drink or two could not hurt" I said in a celebratory tone before I lost sight of Madison too.

After chugging two beers I looked at the time. I was in dismay after realising it had just hit ten. In response I decided to head outside for a breather. I chose to go out because the noise of the music paired with the disgusting taste of beer was making my head spin. Outside the mansion was relatively quiet. Apart from the chirping of the birds and the random odd couple making out near the bushes it was abandon, of course except the group of stoners. Stoners were easy to identify. Simple because the just did not seem to care. They did not care that they smelt so pungently of marijuana. They did not seem to care that the night was freezing cold and only had the flame of their joints to keep them warm. They were in their own worlds, far from everything. I was envious of such thinking. For a second I pondered as to how it would feel to be high. I gave it a minute. Being ditched by both Madison and Cassius made me think, why not?

"Hey" I saluted the group of stoners

They did respond for a brief moment before one of them said enthusiastically "It's a freshmen"

"NO WAY! He is so cute and small" added another member of the group

"DUDE! You can't say that his on a wheelchair" snapped the third member

"HOLY SHIT! Your right. I'm truly sorry my dude. Wanna a j?" he offered as an apology. I took it. I took more than one joint that night.

Marijuana is one hell of a drug. At first it does not hit...or does it? If marijuana was a state it would be ambiguousness. Simple because you do not know why your feeling what your feeling. You know it is because of the marijuana but do not know you could feel like this. You feel mighty and at the same time you do not feel anything. Your mind is blank. Your mind is also filled with thoughts. You forget everything for a second. A state of no insecurities. A state full of insecurity and weakness. You are basically a train-wreck, but it feels so amazing. You opened a new dimension to yourself. You confront everything you did not want to know about yourself. I loved this and was high on this feeling. However, my new found confidence would be problematic in the long run.