Keeping me human

Kyouma found he liked lurking in the Dimensional Administration Bureau's warehouses.

It had become a force of habit, of sorts. They had given him and Mira their own living space, earned by his hard work. But when his mind got restless he left it behind in favor of one of the cold warehouses. He lied down on a platform that extended from the second floor and observed the starry night in silence. It reminded him of the time when he had been so lost and confused on Easter Island. In a place that should not even exist. It reminded him of some better times, too and even the simpler ones. Sometimes it even brought a smile to his face. Most of the time it brought tears.

He still wondered if some day, maybe, he'd be able to live without this cursed nanosuit keeping him alive. He imagined how things would have turned out had he not been wearing it. The doctors had told him that the suit was the only thing keeping him alive. That it had embedded itself into his every life threatening wound. Sealing his wounds with itself. How much of himself was him anymore?

To add to his Easter Island problems. He was still not sure about his life, about his past, present, and future.

Was the recovery house still fighting a never-ending war against illegal Coils? What about Mary? Did she think he abandoned his contract? Or,worse. Died? Did she care?

Was what he learned back on the island true? Or had it been a cruel dream created to bring him peace?

What was New Tesla going to do with him? Why did they save his life? Would he be allowed to roam free as long as he completed their errands? Why did they allow him to keep Mira?

He had no answers and he knew he never would. With each passing day, even the slim hope he might have had of things returning to normal was lost and all he could do was treasure the life he had right now.

But it's not that simple when the fourth axis plane is involved.

He still worried. About the illegal Coils and New Tesla Energy and about Mira too. He worried about many things, but he couldn't help himself. Before, he would shoot some of his fears down with cold hard logic. It had both its advantages and disadvantages, but it more or less helped him hold irrational fears at bay. Normally, he managed on his own just fine, but not always.

Sometimes, all he could do was stay up until late night hours and think about various different scenarios, desperately searching for viable solutions for the many potential problems that plagued him.

Great. Now he was becoming Mira.

And of course, he never found answers.

Sighing Kyouma closed his eyes. The only sound in the night was the rumbling sound of the Energy Tower.

Suddenly, a metallic sound rang out, the way it would if somebody knocked down a toolbox hanging precariously on the edge of a counter. It startled him, to the point that he reflexively reached for his needles that the nanosuit held within itself, then narrowed his eyes in the direction where the sound had come from.

The light of the stars was lost behind the clouds, hiding the visitor deep in shadows. However, what followed it was a sound of somebody hastily putting the tools back where they'd come from as they swore and that eased Kyouma's mind a bit. But not enough to lower his weapons. They caught the moonlight and glimmered in the darkness

As if the mysterious visitor had only noticed his presence then, he heard a gasp, followed by a shout.

"There you are! Don't go anywhere!"

The voice was one that he knew well. He resisted the urge to laugh, instead turning so that his feet dangled from the platform.

"Have a nightmare, Mira?" he asked, with a straight face.

She walked out of the warehouse and across the platform until she was standing surprisingly close to the edge, allowing the light of the stars to illuminate her skin. There was a somewhat guilty smile on her face while she played with her fingers.

"You know robots don't dream, Kyouma."

"Normal robots don't," he said. "I remember you having a similar experience when we visited a lake."

"And I remember someone being a jerk that entire trip."

He nodded. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"S-Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" she replied immediately, face heating up. "What are you doing here? And at this hour, no less?"

"It's late. Shouldn't you be at home?" he asked instead.

"Ugh, no! Don't answer a question with another question!" she returned. However, as Kyouma tilted his head, she continued in a much more level voice, "Uh, I got worried about you. It's cold outside and you didn't bring a jacket."

She laughed awkwardly. Then held up a red jacket that looked similar to his old kimono.

"I see…"

Several seconds passed, during which they looked at each other in silence. Mira was the first to look away.

Kyouma wasn't sure whether to sigh or smile. Her presence, while unexpected, wasn't exactly unwanted. She had long since proven herself to be a great source of friendship when she wanted to be. And he figured that was the kind of thing he needed, especially at times like these.

"Don't worry. I'm fine."

She put her hands to her hips and pouted, tail waving back and forth behind her.

"You think I came out here thinking you weren't? I'm only here to give you the jacket."

Kyouma glanced down towards the jacket in his hands. Well, it was missing the zipper. So it was more of a sweater to be honest. A sweater with a large opening in the front. As he studied it more he noticed the imperfections in the stitching as well. And how lose the thread was around it.

"Maybe... " he trailed off as a shooting star appeared as fast as it disappeared. "Maybe you're right."

From the corner of his eye, he noticed that she looked as if she wanted to say something more, but didn't. Instead, she waited in silence for him to get up, with an ever shy smile that he'd gotten so very used to seeing on her face.

They walked back to their apartment in silence. Mira focused on the stars that lit up the night sky and Kyouma on the ground under his feet.

The pale red light that followed the metal walkway merely added to the darkness, lighting up their surroundings enough to show the next step, but not enough to light up the way.

Naturally, it meant that Mira had to trip over something.

"Who just leaves things lying out like this?" Lifting the box with a sigh, she carried it out of the way, all while grumbling something under her breath.

Kyouma leaned against a railing that overlooked the entire compound, watching her in amusement as he absently reached for the ear peace he kept with him at all times. Something the D.A.B. required of him.

Having placed the box as out of the way as she could, Mira joined him by the railing, leaning her head on her arms.

They remained that way for a few silent moments, Kyouma leaning his back on the railing while Mira gazed towards the main building.

It felt strange, in a way. There was nothing oppressive or uncomfortable about the silence, it was the exact opposite. So, in hindsight, it puzzled him that he'd actually decided to break it to overcome these very things.

"Mira."

"Kyouma?"

He closed his eyes and leaned forward over the railing.

"What is it Kyouma?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing."

Mira was quick to respond however. "No, no! If there's anything on your mind, you should say it. I thought you trusted me enough for that?" Without giving him a chance to answer, she continued in a lowered voice. "You looked a bit sad, back there, you know? You were smiling, but… you looked sad. Not the Kyouma I'm used to."

He never thought of the word 'sad' as a fitting description of how he looked or felt. Sure it fit. But he never actually looked for something to define it all. Sure she was right. But she was also wrong. What was it he felt? Guilt? Pain? Anger? How could she know him?

"Is it because of Miyabi?"

His muscles tightened. It was funny how she knew how to ask all the wrong questions at the right time, with such an innocent face.

"Kyouma?"

She wasn't backing down.

"I'm all right. It's… just… well, think of it as me worrying about things that I can't change. Things about me while not being able me.

She seemed to think about that for a moment. "But if you can't do anything, why worry so much? Isn't that illogical?"

He slumped further over the railing.

"No! That's not...Well, maybe. But that's not what I meant." She looked away, focusing on the distant horizon while a gust of wind blew her green hair backwards. "I just don't want you to be sad. That's all Kyouma."

Kyouma's hold on the railing tightened.

As much as he tried to make it through the days without making it obvious, there was still a longing, for his partner and friend who had been everything he could have possibly ever asked for. But that was in the past and it would be wrong to say that he didn't cherish the life he had now as much as, or even more than the life he'd had before. Mira was right. It was illogical for him to think this way. But he couldn't just forget the past.

He couldn't just kiss it goodbye.

Feeling something brush his shoulder, he turned, only to find Mira's face millimeters from his own and coming closer. Their lips touched for a few seconds before she pulled away, burying her face in her hands.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to!"

He thought for a moment that she'd said something that sounded like 'supposed to have been the cheek!', but that might have been his imagination. Nevertheless, his lips curved into an involuntary smile.

A moment later, he realized that, while she had moved away, she was still much closer than she'd originally been.

He clenched his fists.

"Mira…"

"Huh? What?" she asked, peeking through her fingers, but as if she'd only then realized how close they still were, she moved a step back, and then another. Then began playing with her fingers. "Umm, I…"

"Thank you."

Mira blinked. "What?!"

He smiled.

"What… what for?" she asked.

The truth was, there were many things he wanted to thank her for. Her friendship, for one, but also her understanding and company even during the moments he would have preferred to be alone. To be honest he suddenly found he had a list of things to thank her for.

He settled for one word that he found to work the best in the context and a simple gesture he'd never attempted, but nevertheless found to be appropriate.

"Everything."

Taking her hand in his, he got on a knee and lightly touched it with his lips.

She looked lost, for a moment, maybe even a bit surprised. But the moment passed, leaving only a familiar smile on her face.

She tightened the hold on his hand, threading their fingers together before turning towards the sky and the first hints of the rising sun.

"You're welcome Kyouma."