42 - Her Past

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Getting to know more

The pond was more muddled than ever before.

Which is the truth? He continued to explore.

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Aisia passed out from exhaustion as Kairo kept awake.

The red dragon was silent apart from its loud breathing. It seemed to have gotten comfortable in its position.

It knew that Grisia could still prevent it from escaping at this distance, so it waited for the opportune moment to leave or until Grisia was done with whatever he had in store for it.

The fire crackled as a log from the bonfire adjusted itself, urging Kairo to ask his question finally.

"Grisia, I notice that Aisia really likes food, huh."

"She does."

"But from what I've seen, I feel that she's a bit more obsessed than the typical glutton. Even I can't keep up with her sometimes."

"I suppose you haven't been told of Sia's past."

"Her past? Is there something about it which made her so ravenous?"

"When the two of you met, I told you that I adopted her. Remember when I said that I just happen to find her?"

Kairo nodded.

"I meant it. Years ago, I was on a pilgrimage, strolling around the slums of a city of a kingdom far from here."

Kairo sat properly, leaning on the rock to prepare himself for a story.

"It was the same sight as you've seen in this kingdom. The people were dejected. Hope had already left their eyes. They lived with their spirit beaten down and broken by society. The inevitability of it all added to the tragedy, knowing that most of them would forever stay suffering like that, while only a rare few could escape their poverty-stricken fate."

"Can't you help them? I mean, you're wealthy right?"

Grisia gave a side-eye to Kairo for his tactless question, yet he answered, "At around that time, yes, I was already wealthy. I was already living at my current manor and most of the maids you've seen were already serving under me. But even if I were to give all my money to them, they would just run out after a short while. This will not solve the root cause of the problem. What must be changed lies deeper in the system."

Kairo kept listening. That was the conclusion that he came to as well. But he figured that Grisia could have at least alleviated their suffering through charity. Kairo knew that it was not Grisia's responsibility to do so. From the strolls he did around the city, he saw that the religious organizations in the kingdom were already doing that, but it would still be helpful to those who needed it.

Grisia continued, "But I did not have any political influence back then to contribute to any meaningful changes, even now. In fact, I am under heavy scrutiny as the kingdom sees me as a threat."

Kairo thought that it was similar to what Jarquis told him. Grisia's movements were under surveillance. Any notable actions he did, even adopting Aisia, were monitored. Maybe any charity work by him would've led to more unwanted suspicion and restriction of his movement.

"But do not be mistaken. It's not like I yearn or claim to be good. My main focus is to serve myself, to find the answers to my questions. I have my own reasons that I cannot tell you right now as to why I also cannot do much to help them. But to be completely sincere, even if I could save them... I simply feel indifferent to the people that are rotting around me."

"Indifferent, huh." 

"Yes. I only follow my whim, apart from certain restrictions."

Kairo paused for a second to process Grisia's words. "Then why did you even take me in?"

"We'll get to that in a second. I still have to answer your question about Sia, no?"

Kairo thought about how it was true that Grisia didn't have to do anything, but many of his actions so far did not fit his words. He didn't reply, but Grisia continued anyway.

"As I was saying, I was on my pilgrimage in a poor area. As I kept walking aimlessly, I found myself at a dead end in a dark alleyway. When I turned around, there I saw a frail, little girl in ragged clothing."

"Aisia," Kairo muttered.

"She used her innocent looks to close the distance between us, but I was not a simpleton who would fall for such obvious tricks. I could feel the bloodlust and desperation in her barren eyes. When she was close enough, she tried to stab me with a makeshift shiv made of debris and take my belongings. I disarmed her, but I didn't think it was necessary to harm her."

"I still don't understand how or why you adopted her then. If you're as self-serving as you say you are, why didn't you just ignore her?" Kairo pressed on with his inquiries.

"That's because... in her eyes, I saw something that shook me. It was a stark difference from the other children and men that shared her ill fate. It possessed a hint of the answer I was looking for. I later found out from her that her parents had died for over a while now and she was making ends meet by venturing out into the streets. There were days when she couldn't eat a single thing as the garbage around her had already been picked apart by those who beat her to it. She even resorted to rainwater and puddles on the road for a drink. She was not a stranger to begging, but she said that it was unreliable. And so she resorted to... more effective methods."

Kairo understood that what followed afterwards was how they met. He didn't want to know how many she went through with her new method before she finally met Grisia.

"I never knew about her past, I didn't know that it was that awful. Is that the reason why she's so obsessed with food?"

"Like a stray that was suddenly brought to a home, she acquired a habit of eating until she's full and more, afraid that the days of starvation will return." 

"This thing that you saw in her eyes. What was it anyway? Courage? Murderous intent?"

"Perhaps it was strength, perhaps it was righteousness. To this day, I am still quite uncertain. My pilgrimage has not yet ended. Well, it may be cheap to say that life is a pilgrimage, but for me, it is... in a way. But not in the way that's similar to most people."

"Ah, you lost me. I don't understand what you meant by the last part."

"It matters not," he sighed.

Kairo saw some anguish beneath Grisia's stone face. It was a bit unnerving considering that Grisia was a reliable and stoic person in his eyes.

"Now, the reason why I took you in. It's simply because similar to Sia, I saw something in you. Initially, I was going to hand you over to an orphanage. But then you piqued my interest, and so I agreed to train you. It was a good thing for me that you two proved to be quite capable."

"So, we're just your... experiments?"

"That is one way to approach it."

Kairo turned to Aisia who was sleeping soundly. "If she heard Grisia talk about this..." but before he could finish his thought, Grisia spoke.

"If you're worried about Sia, she's already aware of what I told you. It's not like I completely see her as a mere experiment or a pet. I've truly grown fond of her as my daughter. Enough that I started to wonder if seeking the answers to my questions was still worth it."

"Well, is it?"

There was a considerable silence before Grisia answered Kairo's question. "If it's not worth chasing anymore, then I have abandoned too many things."

It was the first time Kairo saw Grisia's emotionless face so troubled. So pained.

"Why are you even telling me this?"

"I wonder about that as well," Grisia held the side of his head as if disoriented. His eyebrows furrowed as if trying to recollect a memory. "I have a hunch that something is tethering us together. As if fate is at work. In any case, do know that I wish to see what answer you'll arrive at when you reach my level of strength. Consider it your payment for training you."

"I guess that is... fair?" but Kairo pondered what sort of question Grisia wanted answered. For now, it seemed that both of them were getting what they needed. He decided to not think about it too much for now.

"But what question could you possibly not answer? You have the knowledge, you have a library at your home. How could we possibly be able to give you the answer that not even you could figure out?"

"The question will come to you at a certain level of strength. Then you will naturally try to look for an answer as well."

"You're saying that I'm going to become like you? We're going to become like you?"

"You may think of me whatever you will. I have lived a strange life, so I admit I've become particular with my words. It is true that I mainly think of myself, but I think that everyone does. Their egoism is just covered in layers and layers of dependencies and pleasantries, and I'd like to think that I've merely uncovered mine. With this revelation, do you see me as a villain?"

"... you're certainly an unusual character. I don't know what to think yet, since you dropped a lot on me and I don't want to make a hasty judgement."

"That is fair," Grisia nodded with his eyes shut.

"But if what you said is true, that Aisia knows about everything you told me, and she continues to depend on you, then I suppose you're not entirely evil. For now, I shall continue to depend on you as long as Aisia feels the same way. You've given me access to strength that I never imagined I'd wield," Kairo clenched his fists tightly, a faint accumulation of ki appeared before flickering away. He was still quite drained from their fight with the dragon.

"If it's beneficial to you that I continue to get stronger," Kairo continued. "Then that's beneficial for me too, since I need to become stronger for my revenge."

"A mutual relationship then. A mercantile way of looking at things, but I suppose it's better than you childishly seeing me as a bad person," Grisia said. "That takes a load off my chest."

After a few hours, the dragon turned its head. It seemed to have smelled something. That was when Tiraga returned with two huge sacks of meat. In her appearance, the dragon assumed a defensive position.

Tiraga handed the two sacks to Grisia, who presented it to the dragon. It sniffed the contents of the sacks. When Grisia and the dragon exchanged looks, the dragon understood that the humans were offering it what it needed to stop it from further encounters with each other. And so, it grabbed the sacks and flew back to its lair.

"Huh. Ya sure it's not gonna be comin' back to harass the villagers?" Tiraga asked.

"Yes. I'm surprised that you even cared to ask," replied Grisia

"I just don't wanna have ta do this again," she huffed.

"Kairo, we're leaving. Wake Sia up," he said as he and Tiraga headed back to the village to meet with Chadrhaad.

Kairo gently shook Aisia by her arm.

"Aisia, wake up. We're heading back."

Without moving her body, she opened her eyes. "I know."

"You- You were awake the entire time?"

"Yes," she said as she sat up. "I was just resting my eyes. I didn't actually sleep."

"Then, about what Grisia and I talked about—"

She clicked her tongue. "Tsk, I'm fine with that. What I'm annoyed about is having no meat for months," she sighed. "This is really dumb. C'mon, let's head back home."

She stood up and left Kairo alone. He wondered if she really was only ticked off about the meat or because of what Grisia revealed about her and how he talked about them. Seeing that there was no point in speculating further, he stood up and went to catch up to them.