2 Saturday, August 10th, 2019
Was woken up and told I have to get out of the house within 10 mins so I was a little mad at parents. Idk, it seems like they always tell me about activities that I need to go to really late and sign me up for work without my knowledge. My dad talked in a very demanding tone and was rushing me, but I think he wasn't trying to be, or its just cuz his voice is loud like that. I prob just need to get used to it.
For volunteering we shoveled and moved a pile of mulch to spread across a playground. I mainly shoveled the mulch from the pile into the wheelbarrows. I think I get a sense of accomplishment in helping out more than others for some reason. I also have a weird sense of pride in thinking that I have stronger strength than the younger scouts who shovel less than me, and make excuses when I'm tired, such as 'there's not enough space for me to squeeze in and help'.
Shower thoughts - I have already known that I have an addiction in watching/reading material from others, and I'm wondering if using webnovel to write is a bad idea. But I think that by producing content by myself instead of taking in content from others is actually a good idea. This is not a new thought, as I have recognized that it is better for me to play games than to watch others play games, because I do not gain any skills or knowledge from watching but I can by playing (ex. Hearthstone). Watching/in-taking others' knowledge is making me an expert in critiquing. I judge others more, label others, place myself in a position in my mind where I can find the faults in others, but I never choose to look at myself. The worst kind of food critic is one who can't cook, as even a baby can complain about a bad taste or horrible smell. But a true expert is one who can not only point out the flaws, but help others fix those flaws and also provide an example of the goal to reach (I think of Gordon Ramsay). So, I think I should continue writing this journal in order to improve myself, critique and look back at my own flaws, and to stop and think about the everyday actions of myself and what they mean.
Thank you with no real gratitude - I realize its really easy for people to say "thank you" with no real gratitude but more to be polite. For example, if someone holds the door for us, or when the waiter refills my water. I wonder "does the polite use of 'thank you' end up diminishing the value of a 'thank you' of gratitude?" However, if there was a universal way to distinguish between polite and gratitude "thank you" with different wording, I think I would choose to use the gratitude "thank you" to be show more gratitude even if I am saying thanks out of politeness. In the future, I should try to show more gratitude in "thanks" that mean more to me.
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Take Away - don't take other people's tone of speech personally especially if it was not meant to be aggressive, I should try not to have a sense of superiority over others cuz I might actually not be better in that aspect, I should focus to critique myself more than others and make my own thoughts rather than taking in others' ideas, I should try to show more gratitude in "thank you" if it means more to me than a polite "thanks"
