1 Ep. 1 - How does this work?
"One moment please, I will contact my superior. Annoying mortal" said the receptionist thing, muttering the last part. In front of the helpdesk was a quite confused human male, quite fit though you can forget about muscles.
That was Tula, no last name needed as he was, apparently, dead. Not that he cared that much about his life. You see, when a teenager/young adult grows up with video games and comics/manga, he/she might fantasize about grand adventures, passionate romance with some 2D waifu, brutal battles where the "good" side prevails due to the power of bulls- I mean, power of love and friendship. Then life kicks in.
Like, first you grow up playing superhero with your friends, reading of some goody-two-shoes that somehow finds a magic ring that makes him invisible and goes on to slay a fucking dragon, then you get school. School breaks your will and kills your imagination, replacing it with something called reality. Most people just go on with their lives and just accept it, others do follow what they are told, become functioning members of society, while others, like Tula, never get over it.
The last kind of people sometimes get bored with this peaceful, uneventful life and want something more.
Well, let us stop with the rant on this disappointing world where I, the great author, would like some world-ending dragon to just swoop in and destroy everything.
So, this guy, Tula, died due to whatever reason. But you don't care, right? You want the story, right? You want some spicy adventure, RIGHT?! Because I don't care, Imma do what I want with this shitty story.
So, anyway, this pitiful excuse of a living being, not even qualified to be called a human, was a shut-in gamer. He still studied and got decent grades, but stayed home most of the time if possible. Anyway, he died and is currently receiving some kind of post-death treatment.
Now, you were expecting a God, but it was me, the AUTHOR! Yeah, so… disregard that please.
I found myself in an "Afterlife help center", where some things, which I guess could be called angels or something similar, will decide my fate.
I just found out that I have zero karma, like exactly 0. Now, apparently THAT is something that you don't see everyday, so the receptionist-angel-thingy decided that a higher-up was needed. And here we go, I was sent to a God or something and hoped to get something out of it. I mean, I WAS told that 0 karma is a rare thing. Upon arriving, I noticed that the guy was annoyed as hell. How did I know? Because I had his same face, when I was living, obviously. 'Maybe I can get something out of him due to exasperation?'
We talked a little about life. Seems he had a file on my life and thoughts. Now, this particular God-like being which I will from now on call Jared had a pretty bad millennium. First he fucked up with setting up his "Afterlife help center" and was flooded with animals, criminals, and worse (people who put pineapple on pizza). Then he got chewed up by HIS superiors due to putting a bunch of chickens in the bodies of supposed heroes in worlds outside his jurisdiction. The list of shitty events, mainly caused by himself, continues, but the point is that he was sick and tired of this shit and couldn't wait for his promised break.
My man Jared was bored to, literally, DIVINE levels, so he decided to give me any one wish and get this over with. Apparently I was the last 'client' he'd have to deal with according to his contract. 'What is this, some kind of company?!'
Now you might ask: "Oh, great Tula-sama, what the fuck can you do with a single, flimsy wish?!". Now, now… don't get your nipples all riled up, I got a story to live through and a wish to prepare.
Ahem- anyway, I got any one wish for being a pathetic excuse of a living being, so I began racking my brains thinking about what to actually wish. I was a student, so nothing too great, a shut-in, so no particular attachments apart from my family, though I did consider myself a failure, so I will just think that this is for the better. After half an hour of berating myself and thinking of at least the direction in which I wanted to go (metaphor, I am literally staring at a white painting while thinking), I decided to actually try and get an exciting second life.
Seeing no way to actually make a plan in my worthless little head, I asked for some paper and a writing tool.
"Actually, what the fuck do angels and gods write with?" I unconsciously said out loud, getting a chuckle in response. 'No answer, huh? All right, then. Keep your secrets. Well, I don't care either way, not becoming an angel or a God anytime soon.'
Anyway, after getting a piece of paper and a pen, I began thinking of games and other fictional universes I liked, or at least heard about. Those always have some kind of adventure and interesting things. Well, most of them at least.
'First is Destiny. Man, that game was awesome, I spent most of my middle-school and high-school days playing that shit, then College hit me with a punch in the gut. Well, those weapons were absolute beasts. Like, you can actually seal a corrupted Hive god inside a fucking rifle, a RIFLE! And don't get me started on the bullshit that is Light. Only one word: fucking overpowered. Ok, those are two words but still…'
With one universe down, I wrote what I remembered of other universes. 'Ok, the universes I remember the most are the slime reincarnation one (absolutely adorable ball of extremely acidic substance for the win!), Danmachi (it was utter bullshit and a shitty harem, but you gotta say that the idea of an enormous dungeon is very appealing), and Arifureta (didn't really like the anime, or the MC for all that matters, but it was kind of interesting). Other universes which I know less about are RWBY (adorable girls fighting are adorable, plus tsundere ice princess. I want to emphasize: best girl = Weiss.), Star Wars (use the force, Luke!), and Fallout (portable nuclear explosives? Gotta have 'em). Well, these are a metric fuck-ton of universes and I only have one wish…'
I was basically ranting in my mind while jotting things down on the paper, but suddenly I had a very, and I emphasize 'very', good idea.
Jared could see the guy begin to furiously write shit on the paper given to him, before finally stopping after a couple of hours of refining his 'wish'.
"Here, as my wish, grant me what is written on this stack of papers." I said with a carefree attitude to Jared.
Upon seeing what was written on the papers, Jared was almost crying: 'How the fuck did he come up with these particular wishes, they are not particularly original, the archetype is similar to other humans that came by before, but they are awfully detailed, I can't even fuck too much with his life because of the details and I can't be bothered to do so.'
"Fine, one wish granted! Now GTFO!" said Jared while rubbing his forehead and pointing to a door that appeared out of nowhere.
So, with one wish granted, Tula could embark on his, hopefully, fascinating new adventure.
After being left alone, Jared read through the papers again to check the wishes and prepare everything. He already saw the amount of text and God was not amused, not at all.
The papers read:
"Wishes
- I want to transmigrate into the body of an Exo guardian in the Destiny Universe (the one shown in the game, not an AU)
- I want it to be a top-of-the-line body, the most advanced possible, with the capability of changing my own body to better materials, compressing, repairing, and modifying to my liking; this body should also be coated in skin-like nanomachines that make it indistinguishable from other humans
- I want to personalize my appearance and background, human and machine, to a certain degree (if I am yeeted into a pre-existing body then forget the background, just let me change some aspects of my body before 'waking up')
- I want the memories of the body to be integrated with mine, possibly while sleeping in a safe zone or while the body is shut-down
- I want full control of my body, something like Eternal Arms Mastership (EAM) but for this body. I also want to have full knowledge about it (history, construction, ways to make it better, condition, Etc.)
- I want to be granted infinite inventory space connected to the ghost
- I want to be able to equip multiple pieces of exotic weapons and armor
- In the inventory space there is one AR, one Hand Cannon, one Scout Rifle, one Sniper Rifle, one Shotgun, one Sidearm, one Pulse Rifle, one Bow, one SMG, one Fusion Rifle, one Trace Rifle, one Linear Fusion Rifle, one Heavy Machine Gun, one Grenade Launcher, one Rocket Launcher, one Sword
- Each of these weapons can morph to have the same appearance as the weapons listed in that category and possesses all the unique perks (For example: Vex Mythoclast has its unique perk/s plus those of other listed AR's)
- I want some sort of Eternal Arms Mastership (EAM) or whatever you want to call it. Point is, I take the weapon in hand and KNOW how to use it. Still need to make the memories become muscle memory but it's still something. When I take a weapon in hand, I KNOW everything about it (history, construction, ways to make it better, condition, Etc.)
- In the inventory space there is one helmet, one gauntlet, one chest armor, one leg armor, one ship, one sparrow, one artifact. Each of these follows the same concept as the weapons (can assume any form but maintains its unique properties plus can use the unique properties of other things). The sparrow does not need an uplink, it is just a vehicle I can use with infinite propellant
- My ship will have infinite propellant
- I want the same sort of EAM as the weapons but applied to the armor, vehicles, artifact, whatever
- The artifact and armors have all possible mods.
- The ghost can shapeshift into any of the listed shells and has all possible ghost perks
- I want to be able to produce any material that I know of at the cost of energy
- I want immense energy reserves and immense regeneration of said energy
- I want full knowledge on all technology from the Destiny universe, be it weapons, armor, vehicles, anything
- I want to be able to use this knowledge
- As a little extra, I want to have knowledge about the "Laws" mentioned in those cultivation novels and actually use them to boost my abilities
- I want to be able to build custom weapons/armors/vehicles/etc. without the need of any particular apparatus
- Something like blacksmithing magic, where I think what I want to build, provide materials and energy. To do this I need the actual knowledge to do something
- I want to be a Guardian, as I already said in the first point but important things must be said twice. They actually don't but I wanted to specify since I am sure I annoyed the SHIT out of you with my wish and you want to screw me sideways by now.
- I want to be able to mold the light however I wish
- I am not restricted by classes and subclasses, can create new abilities and can infuse pure light into things to strengthen them
- Something a little like cultivation but just strengthening the body and objects (reinforcing the data)
- I want to increase my engram drop rate and the quality of said engrams, modify the engram (data), and decrypt the engram on my own
- I want an interface (a system would be useless to me with what I am being granted) that can show me exactly the state of my body (injuries, malfunctions, etc.), the objects I possess (inventory interface), a map of the area (as big as the ship and/or Ghost can scan), Skills, Perks (subdivision of skills or the results of my training/memories), Drawbacks (I don't expect a free meal and with what I am asking I expect a pretty steep bill), I can modify it if needed in the future
- The interface is linked to my Ghost and can be projected in my helmet and it also works like a HUD (allows me to see what weapons I have equipped, the charge of my abilities, the amount of ammo, proximity to enemies), classic Destiny HUD really without the part about supers, grenades, etc.
- I want to transmigrate after the events of Destiny 2 in a rather peaceful time (not in the middle of another fucking invasion by some kind of God or extradimensional being)
- I want to be able to travel to different universes with my ship
For my weapons I want:
o AR's
§ Vex Mythoclast (FR→AR), Monte Carlo (AR), Khvostov 7G-0X (AR), Tommy's Matchbook (AR), Hard Light (AR), Necrochasm (AR)
o HC's
§ Lumina (HC), Malfeasance (HC), The Last Word (HC), Thorn (HC), Hawkmoon (HC), Ace of Spades (HC), Sunshot (HC), Fatebringer (Atheon HC), Dire Promise (HC), Crimson (HC), Eriana's Vow (HC)
o ScR's
§ Polaris Lance (ScR), Symmetry (ScR), Vision of Confluence (Atheon ScR), Doom of Chelchis (Oryx ScR), Touch of Malice (ScR), MIDA Multi-Tool (ScR), Skyburner's Oath (ScR),
o PR's
§ Red Death (PR), No Time to Explain (PR), Graviton Lance (PR), Oversoul Edict (Crota PR), Outbreak Perfected (PR)
o Bows
§ Le Monarque (Bow), Wish-Ender (Bow), Trinity Ghoul (Bow), Leviathan's Breath (Bow)
o SMG's
§ Tarrabah (SMG), Riskrunner (SMG)
o SA's
§ Rat King (SA), Dreg's Promise (SA), Traveler's Chosen (SA), Devil's Ruin (SA)
o SR's
§ Whisper of the Worm (SR), Zen Meteor (SR), Dreaded Venture (SR), The Supremacy (SR), Efrideet's Spear (SR), The Queenbreaker (LFR→SR), Patience and Time (SR), Izanagi's Burden (SR), Cloudstrike (SR), Hereafter(SR), Ice Breaker (SR), Borealis (SR), D.A.R.C.I (SR), Arbalest (LFR→SR)
o FR's
§ Merciless (FR), Jotunn (FR), Telesto (FR), One Thousand Voices (FR)
o TR's
o Divinity (TR), Coldheart (TR)
o SG's
§ Duality (SG), Lord of Wolves (SG), Parcel of Stardust (SG), Mindbender's Ambition (SG)
o LFR
§ Sleeper Simulant (LFR)
o HMG
§ Super Good Advice (HMG)
o GL's
§ The Colony (GL), Anarchy (GL)
o RL's
§ Gjallarhorn (RL), The Wardcliff Coil (RL)
o Swords
§ Raze-Lighter (Sword), Crown Splitter (Sword), Just in Case (Sword)
For my armor I want:
Helmets
Felwinter's Helm, Eye of Another World, Verity's Brow, The Stag, Nezarec's Sin, Dawn Chorus, Crown of Tempests, Wormhusk Crown, Mask of Bakris, Celestial Nighthawk, Assassin's Cowl, An Insurmountable Skullfort, Helm of Saint-14, Precious Scars
o Gauntlets
§ Ophidian Aspect, Sunbracers, Karnstein Armlets, Getaway Artist, Contraverse Hold, Sealed Ahamkara's Grasps, Young Ahamkara's Spine, Shards of Galanor, Liar's Handshake, Doom Fang Pauldron, Synthoceps, Wormgod Caress
o Chest
§ Starfire Protocol, Wings of Sacred Dawn, Crest of Alpha Lupi, Heart of Inmost Light, Hallowfire Heart, Raiju's Harness, Raiden Flux, Phoenix Protocol, The Dragon's Shadow, The Sixth Coyote, Ophidia Spathe, Gwisin Vest, Actium War Rig
o Legs
§ Transversive Steps, Lunafaction Boots, Lucky Pants, Stomp-EE5, Orpheus Rig, Frost-EE5, Phoenix Cradle, Lion Rampant, Dunemarchers
For my miscellaneous items I want:
o Ghost Shells
§ Hardlink Shell, True North Shell
o Ships
§ A Thousand Wings, Ada-1's Lone Wolf, Callisto Lancer, Cerulean Flash, Home Away
o Sparrows
§ Dinas Emrys, Any Other Sky
o Artifact
§ Seed of Silver Wings "
Jared was baffled after reading it completely. Yes, he just glanced at it the first time. 'This shit's specific. And this stack of papers is thicc but with four c's: thicccc. Oh, look, he even added a drawback section so that I could fuck with his life. Well, since he was so thoughtful, I could go easy on the guy. Yeah, I'll just fuck with his personality a bit. Actually I might help him a bit'
And with this thought, Jared started organizing everything for Tula's reincarnation in the Destiny Universe.
While Jared knew it had been played, this does count as a single wish, and not too overpowered compared to other wishes he and his colleagues had granted in the past. I mean, the only really overpowered thing he asks for is the possibility to create ANY material. While Tula had probably only thought of it as a source of metal for weapons, this could potentially bring about the destruction of an entire universe (think about creating a material that creates universe-wide explosions and there you go). The enormous energy reserves and regeneration were just a matter of tweaking with the laws a little and maybe tinkering with the exo body. Giving the guy an armory of guns (exotic and legendary) was not a problem as they are still mortal made guns, except a couple that have some spark of divinity in them, but it is so minimal that it is negligible to this being. As for the interface and infinite inventory, Jared just had to downgrade the medium tier systems to have only the functionalities requested, not too difficult even for the angel-receptionist-things. The rest of his wishes were mainly knowledge and manipulation of this knowledge and data. Still overpowered but not as much as the number of wishes would imply.
Overall, Jared had to accept as Tula was to be granted any one wish and, thanks to semantics and details, the guy did have only one wish. You see, these God-like beings are almost Omniscient, Omnipresent (vastly thanks to living in their own dimension detached from the concept of time so that past, present, and future coexist at the same time), and Omnipotent (on varying levels), but they also have their own morals and, even though lower beings such as mortals tend to be cheeky and expect too much, they maintain their word.
'I have the feeling someone's calling me Jared. Don't know who but I'll kill them for sure, no one changes my great name: Tiffa- I meant Xad'el!'
