1 Chapter One: American Drive Home

"I'm awkward. I'm quiet. I'm good at almost everything, but first impressions? Not my thing." -Taylor Mills July 16, 2019

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Chapter One: American Drives Home

"Are you sure you have everything?"

I glanced around the apartment a final time and answered, "Yeah, I'm positive."

I looked at the roommate I'd had for the past two years, about to say goodbye and found him looking at me with his famous puppy-dog eyes. He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. Why he was I didn't know, nor did I want to find out.

Unlucky for me, I did anyway.

As his arms spread out wide and his previous expression swapped with a sly smirk, I knew what he was going to do. Slowly, his long legs started taking large strides toward me, beginning the early stages of his plan.

I immediately groaned. "Ryland, you know I'm not the affectionate type." I backed away, not wanting to be touched. Unfortunately, that only made his blue eyes light up as he continued toward me.

"But Onsana," he whined, picking up his pace, "it's only a hug."

Before I had the chance to argue or better yet run, he stood before me and slid his arms behind my back.

His black hair rested on the nape of my neck and a few seconds passed as I grew impatient. Luckily, he sensed it and took a few steps away, removing himself off of me. I nodded at him, sarcastically thanking him for granting my personal space back.

"This place isn't going to be the same without you," he stated, fake sniffling.

"Ryland, I'll be back in a month," I pointed out. "It's Christmas break and besides, you're leaving a day after me."

"Fine," he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, almost like a five-year-old mad at their parents for not buying them ice cream.

I moved past him and reached for the doorknob and muttered, "I'm off."

I pulled the door open and locked it as a rare smile overtook my face. I couldn't wait to go home. I hadn't seen Mom in what felt like ages when in reality, it had only been since Thanksgiving.

Honestly, I really missed her and our little talks. I was sure she had a lot to tell me about the past few months, considering she always kept up with the latest news.

Shortly after, my smile faded off my face, and my head hung low in dread. A lot has happened the last few months, and I was reminded how this Christmas would be a lot different. Instead of it being my parents and two siblings, we had a few others joining us.

Zayne, my older brother, was bringing his fiance and a few members of her family with him this Christmas. Now, I have nothing against Isa, but I couldn't say the same for the family members coming with her. I didn't know them at all, and I felt my hands clam up at the thought of meeting them.

Not only that, but this meant I had to introduce myself countless times and have the same conversation repeatedly, only with different people. I was the quiet type so making small talk with people I didn't know, or anyone for that matter, wasn't a strong suit of mine. To make it worse, they would be with us for the next two weeks, which is half the time I would be home.

As I exited the elevator, I shook my head and reassured myself that Isa was kind, so her family probably was too. Unfortunately, my pep talk didn't calm me, but before I could confront my anxiousness, I was already inside my car. My fingers lingered on the power button, ready to start it.

I turned on my GPS and set it from Berklee College of Music to my hometown, Stowe, Vermont. My college was in a nice area, Boston, Massachusetts. The atmosphere of it was amazing since everyone shared the same burning passion for music like me. The shortest route I could find was four hours, which wasn't too bad, but still a long drive for a tired college student...especially one who stayed up the night prior trying to write the tune stuck in her head.

As I pulled out the parking lot my ringtone went off. I made sure the road was clear before I looked down at my phone and answered. My other brother Jax, was calling me.

"Wassup, big sis?" he asked, his voice as cheerful as always.

Slowing down for the yellow light, I responded, "Nothing much. Are you still at school?"

Jax may be my brother, but I saw him more like a best friend. We rarely argued and understood each other quite well. I was the listen-not-talk type and he was the opposite. He got this, and we were both there for each other, making him one of the few people I could speak with on a comfortable level.

"No, I'm still driving; that's why I called you. Driving alone is so boring. Like people can't drive. You know how many times some ass pulled in front of me without a turning signal?"

I smiled, he sure loved to rant. "A lot of times I am guessing?"

"Yeah and on top of that, the radio stations play the same songs over and over. Then there's the fact that I've been driving on the same road for like an hour," he chuckled. "Sorry, I got carried away there. Anywho, you on your way?"

"Yeah," I paused, making a right turn. "I just left. You?"

"I'll probably be there in around an hour and forty-five."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised. It was always more likely for him to be late than early. "Oh, that's a lot quicker than me. What time did you leave?"

"Four hours ago, around 7:30 in the morning. I swear college has changed me. I used to never wake up at this time unless I was forced too."

"Oh, I remember. Zayne always gave up on waking you and sent me instead."

"Yeah... but speaking of him, I can't believe he's going to be married soon. It's hard to believe since he swore when he was young he'd never love because he didn't want to be pussy-whipped like dad," he laughed, and I laughed along with him.

The rest of the call continued like that, Jax revisiting old memories while I listened, cracking a smile or laugh every once in a while until he arrived home. A couple of hours later, I did too and as I pulled into the driveway I stopped and reversed, seeing my usual parking spot already taken. So instead, I parked near the curb twenty feet away.

I assumed it was a family member of Isa's and stepped outside into the freezing cold, my coat doing nothing to warm me. I moved to the back of my blue Prius and grabbed the presents I bought a few weeks back, along with some clothing for the next few weeks. I didn't bring much with me, since most of the stuff I needed was already here since I didn't bring much with me to college.

I stepped onto the freshly painted porch and knocked on the door just as it swung open with Jax standing in front of me, followed by mom close behind. They didn't hesitate to pull me in for a long group hug, one I found myself squeezing back and actually enjoying. Eventually, I had to tell them to let go, afraid I'd drop their presents and we continued our little reunion inside.

"Oh sweetie, I missed you," she said, kissing me on my temple.

Automatically, I replied, "I missed you too, Mom."

"And what about me?"

"Jax, you just talked to me on the phone not too long ago," I stated, poking his shoulder.

He sighed in defeat, frowning. "I suppose you're right."

He looked at me expecting me to say something to flatter him, but I shrugged my shoulders, earning a scowl.

I ignored him and shifted the presents to my right hip, then glanced at my watch. It was only 2:36 in the afternoon, meaning I could still go to the bookstore if I wanted, but I decided against it. My eyes were down to slits, begging to be closed, and the rest of my body couldn't agree more.

"I'm going to go take a nap," I muttered, my body somehow feeling even more tired with each word that left my mouth.

I walked through the hallway full of family portraits going back from our grandparents' first prom, to pictures of my mom smashing cake in dad's face on their wedding day. After that, images of Zayne, Jax, and me followed.

My eyes searched for my favorite of them all. It didn't take long for them to find what they were looking for.

Mom, Dad, Zayne, Jax, and I were crowded around a piano. Jax was eight at the time, making me ten, and Zayne sixteen. I had just won my first piano competition and a grin was plastered across my face as I held up my newly won trophy. Jax's arm was slung over my left shoulder and Zayne's on my other one, while our parents stood to the side with Dad's arm wrapped around Mom's waist.

Jax had a full smile, his teeth on display along with Zayne, who never smiled in photos. Usually, he had his hands shoved into his pockets, looking in any direction but the camera, like he wanted to be anywhere but there, but this one was different.

His little sister after placing second, third or lower in her previous competitions, finally placed first, bringing a smile to his lips. I'd never tell him this, but he had a great smile, one that he should use more often instead of his regular smirk.

A few minutes later, I peeled my eyes off the photo and continued down the hallway. Before I made it to the stairs, I turned into the living room, remembering the heavy gifts that rested on my hip.

A pine tree sat in the center of the room that wasn't decorated next to a rustic fireplace and piano. Boxes labeled "Christmas" littered the room, along with wrapping paper.

The room made me cringe, and it was so packed that I wasn't sure where to put the presents. I looked for an empty space in the room and found one near the couch. I sat them there and as I left the room, I mentally made a note to clean it when I woke up.

I finally reached the stairs and immediately after I entered my room, I laid on my bed and dozed off.