Jun Kokoro

I laid down on my bed after a long day

As I closed my eyes

I felt a gentle voice in my ears

So soothing, so pure, so delicate

That I wish I cold hear it all day

The voice came from a little girl inside me

I had fed her with my dreams, innocence and happiness for years

And now all she was a little me

But I had caged her inside me

She shouted "let me out"

But I refused and told her to calm down

She shouted " you have changed"

I heard that and smiled In pain

"Why don't you play with me anymore,

Why don't you tell me your dreams anymore

Why don't you tell me about what good happened to you today

Why don't you talk about how beautiful this world is with me anymore

Why don't you let me go outside anymore

Why do you treat me as if I am no one

Why...just why...." she asked me with curiosity

I heard all that but I remained quiet

How can I tell her that

The beautiful world we used to dream about was actually a rotten place

The happiness we used to share, was now dead

The dreams we had, was now shattered by this world

How ...how can I tell her that

The dreams, the happiness we used to talk for hours was just a delusion

How..how

I don't want her to die because of the truth

So I had trapped her inside me

She pleaded to come out and see the world

But I refused everytime

She said to me she wanted

to see this world

to see the people, the place I always talked about

to be known by everyone

She wanted that everyone would be proud of her

She wanted to love everyone and everything

She wanted to live in this world

I knew her thoughts were pure and clear

Filled with wholesomeness and joy

I kept her traped inside me because of fear that

This world will ruin her

But I replied to her

I had a big suprise for you

I had been planning in this past time

So I couldn't talk to you

I am sorry for that.

Out of happiness,

She screamed and said it's ok

She was excited and thrilled

That smile on her face was very sweet

She said she had a question

"What is my name?" She asked

I thought a while and after that I said

Your name is Jun Kokoro.....

She was delighted

And she asked me

Why did I give her this name

I told her that

She was a person with pure heart

So I named her Jun Kokoro.

Tears of happiness came out of her eyes

Never had she been so delighted and happy

She then went to sleep.

I lied to her

I felt sorry for her

I couldn't keep her in this lies anymore

So I went to her and said

"Jun Kokoro I am sorry

Goodbye."

I killed her. This world world made me kill her

After that I buried her soul deep inside my mind.

Jun Kokoro's soul is still inside me

But burried deep inside

One day I will take her out again

Or

One day I will end up like her.

But however it may end

All I want to say is

I love you Jun Kokoro...I love you