34 Irrelevant Chapter, pure crack

Warning: pure bullshit, I wrote this in one in the morning. It has nothing to do with the main story, and is not considered canon.

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Michael, Ty Lee and Toph emerged from the whirling portal hovering in the air and stepped onto the soft green grass. All three were slightly beaten, their clothes stained with blood, as were their still unstowed weapons.

"Fuck, I think I broke something..." Michael groaned and looked at his arm that was bent at a wierd angle.

Toph rolled her eyes and took his arm in hers. "Geez, sometimes I feel like you're not a badass thief but a whining child. Can't you fix it with your waterbending thing-a-majing?" Even without seeing his hand, she was able to feel the state of his fracture with the help of the minerals in his bone.

Ty Lee popped up from behind Michael and looked down at his hand. "First you need to set the fracture, he already talked about it. What's the point of treating the bone if it doesn't heal properly?"

"I dunno, to punch people around the corner?" Toph shrugged, causing Ty Lee to chuckle.

Michael groaned again. "Just do it already so I can heal it."

With a crunch, his bone took a decent position and Michael cried out in pain. His hand immediately turned into water and glowed with white light, he felt his bone grow together and even smallest cracks soon disappeared.

"Holy smokes, I forgot how bad that can be." He muttered as he clenched his fist a couple of times to check if everything was cured properly.

"So, where are we?" Ty Lee asked, looking around, but then something caught her eye. "... Is that a yellow pony-thing with pink hair?"

Michael heard a squeak from the bushes and saw a yellow pony hide behind a bright green bush. Toph immediately frowned and her feet sank a couple of centimeters into the ground.

"Can animals be these colors? You said that there are different races and animals in different places, but I find it hard to believe that such a thing can exist."

Ty Lee looked at the pony with interest, and the pony looked back at them. The pony had never seen anyone like this in her life, never even heard of such beings standing in front of her right now. And why hasn't this spinning portal disappeared yet?

Finally, Michael snapped out of his stupor and looked straight at the pony peeking out from behind a bush, along with six other animals.

"Oi." The pony's eyes fell on him and she hid behind the bush again. "Is your name Fluttershy?"

He felt the bewildered gazes of his girls on him, but only waved his hand, which would explain everything later. Fluttershy slowly stepped out from behind a bush and took a couple of hesitant steps towards them. "Y-yes... Who are you? W-what are you doing in Equestria?"

Michael closed his eyes, took a deep breath and ignored the fact that the jaws of his girls hit the ground. "We're leaving." He declared and turned around, took Ty Lee and Toph by the hands and pulled them towards the portal.

"What? Why?!" Ty Lee asked in shock.

"It's a fucking world of friendship and magic, where almost nothing is solved through violence." He answered and looked back to see both girls' faces turn pale. "How long do you think we can last in a world where absolutely everyone is happy and the only conflicts are disputes over apple pie?"

"Spirits, we're going to die here!" Toph screamed and pushed everyone into the portal with an earth pillar.

'Because seriously, what would a thief, an adrenaline junkie and a murder-happy princess's best friend do in a world of FRIENDSHIP?' Michael shuddered and flew through the portal.

Fluttershy just watched as the three creatures disappeared into the portal and it immediately collapsed, leaving behind a ruined clearing covered in blood. She looked at her friends and muttered in confusion. "What is 'fucking'?"