Being able to be attached on someone is a bit scary. In the first place you'll feel comfort, you'll feel happiness, you'll feel nothing but full of positivity. I know it's not gonna be like this forever. I know someday it'll be scary to let go and while int he process, I'll definitely loose my mind. Though I want my self to be happy. I want a never ending ecstasy. Where my smile is always visible to the world, where my contagious laughter circulates in the ears of people.
But... I know this is reality.
How can I absolutely be happy when the only source of my happiness is him? Is them...
I want him to notice me. I really do want them to notice me. Yet how? I have nothing but my pitiful self. And that's not attractive at all.
It's hard for me to reach them. Even if I scream, even if I push all my limits. I will never get to be noticed by them.
My mind is full of untold stories. Stories that I want to be real not a figment of imagination. I want every scenarios to be real. Coz if it's possible to stay inside that blissful thought, I will gladly do it... to stay.
I want fiction to be real. It's the only thing that can make my heart flutter in joy.
Why create impossible scenarios? Why must they hurt us like that? And us? Why must we keep hoping that it'll come to life? Why do we keep on in denial when it is right in front of us slapping our cheeks multiple times saying— shouting! That you must wake up!
We hope because we want an ending like that.
It's hard. Yes it is. It's hard to be stuck in your own thought. It's hard that every time you wake up... we must face reality again.
- Arabella Josie