Prologue

hey there, I'm Jesus, the one from the religion. I know that a lot of you might despise me and swear to me every day, but love you all the same and it is for this very reason that to make you all laugh I'll tell you my bizarre adventures!

Everything started billions of years ago when my dad decided to create a bigass explosion. I don't know why, but probably he was too high to even understand what he was doing. However, from this little error was born a new life, maybe some of you may relate to this situation but we should not waste too much time on his subject, you irresponsible people. Hey, the nothingness is pretty boring, so a little change is always welcome, and it even helps increase my old man's already huge ego.

But after some billion years, in every possible reality, those two pieces of shit called Adam and Eve decided to sin, so with their immensurable idiocy decided to eat the last piece of cake that was reserved to my father. Since I was the one supposed to look after them I was punished as well, but it wasn't my fault if I was too drunk to even think, let alone look after human beings.

So as punishment my old man decided that I was to be reincarnated forever just to be killed after 33 years to erase their sins. A lil' bit excessive, don't ya think? But who am I to judge.

A lot of people may think that it was an unbearable torture, but let me tell you one thing: a lot of wicked shit happened.

You need to know that every world is different, but there is a constant: in every world and in every reality it's always the humans committing the sins, and I don't know why, in one way or another, it's always them being the predominant race.

I traveled through thousands if not millions of worlds, and I can tell you that they are always divided into these three types: the beautiful one, the cruel ones, and the bizarre ones, but the most interesting are the latters. I've had infinite adventures with various people, I've seen weird monsters and even weirder animals, but the downside is I can't have a stable relationship.

Anyway, this is nothing but a prologue of my bizarre adventures, so what about we get started?