1 Thoughts, and bitterness.

WARNING: This chapter has dark thoughts that might be triggering. Read at your own risk! Know that you are not alone and if need help because of your own thoughts reach out and talk to someone you can trust!

[SLAM]

The door behind Kaylin slams shut behind him. Never failing to startle him before, but this time, it had, even though it seemed louder than before. Kaylin sighed and kept walking into his apartment, not even phased by the sound. Lost in his own thoughts after hearing some ridiculous news and tossing his mail on the table in the kitchen.

"I'm home, though, no one is here to respond." shrugging, he sits at the table instead of on his favorite chair, as if actually taking the time to see his surroundings.

His apartment was sparse, for he lived alone and was always working it seemed to him. So he had no social life. Which was rare for someone at the age of 20. He was amazed however, that he was able to keep it so clean, though, it wouldn't matter soon. He thought to himself.

It was a national announcement, the world was going to war against itself again. The year, for what it was worth, was Lost 28 AW. 'Lost' stood for the losing of most of civilization during the wars, the the fighting continued till Lost 18 AW. Ironically 'AW' stood for After Wars because the reasons for fighting was lost as well, just only the conviction of needing to fight was all that was left. The world finally sat down at Lost 16 AW to write peace treaties, only to have them finalized two years later.

Snorting at the thought, peace my ass. Should have sat down for peace talks the moment Lost was added to the front of the years.

Kaylin would be lying if he wasn't bitter about it, he lost his parents at the age of 10 because they were drafted to fight and died soon after his 11th birthday.

'Well mom and dad. I want to say I made it to my 21st birthday. But looks like like I am getting shipped out just like you both were. The world is on the brink of war again, and my birthday present tomorrow is getting on a train to be trained to fight for the military.'

'Could always do something so that doesn't happen~' Shaking his head trying to ignore the voice, 'screw you, even though you are my thoughts, your comments scare me the most.'

'Oh~? It is not like I need to really help that much, I mean, you have already had the mental images in your head since mom and dad... passed...'

Kaylin stood up from his chair in frustration and sadness and walked to the bathroom. Turning the sink on to cold and splashing his face with cold water. Looking up at the mirror looking at his reflection. His dark brown hair was in the usual short ponytail that looked like a topknot. His stern diamond shaped face looked back, his bright piercing blue eyes looking back as if he was judging himself. Standing straight up he looked at the rest of his features, trying to pull himself away from his darker thoughts.

His body was slender with fair skin, his proportion were fairly even with his shoulders and hips making a fairly symmetrical rectangle. Due to food always being rationed, his frame showed signs of malnutrition. Just barely getting enough food to survive. Even with that said, if you were able to look past that, you could say he was handsome, even pretty.

'At least I would look pretty in the news.' A stray thought creeped into his head. At this thought he grimaced, raising his fist and punching the mirror, causing cracks all over the mirror, distorting his reflection.

'At least my reflection now shows how I feel' He thought as he looked at his hand. It stung, but surprisingly, there were no cuts, bruises, or broken bones. At least my luck works out for me in ways that benefit me at times, as he looked back at the mirror with a frown on his face.

As another thought entered his mind.

'DO IT~'

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