It's Time

No one can see or hear me. I am invisible to others that can not bare to see the reality that we actually live in. Why don't we grasp the reality that 'I' live in? What is wrong with me? Why do I stay on this earth? What is my purpose? Why can't I kill myself? What am I destined to do? How can I avoid this? I just want to die in peace? Who is truly stopping me?

Is it god? I try my best to avoid help and grab a sharp knife along with a large piece of rope. I dig the knife deep into my arms then tie the rope into a gnus as I put it around my neck, when I hear a car pull up into the driveway. I need to hurry now. The rope is hanging high on the ceiling so I can't touch the floor below. The gnus is around my neck and slowly I suffocate, as my life seeps from this world to another.

My lungs are refilled with oxygen as the gnus is taken off and thrown off to the side. The deep cuts in my arms have been stitched up. As a month pasts of recovery my eyes open before filling with tears that steadily stream down my face. Why am I still here? Why can't I just die? Why won't they let me? I'm a failure!! I don't belong here! What do they want of me? Can't they see that I don't want to be here anymore? What now? I can't do that again without someone stopping me, unless I slit my throat or shoot myself in the head.

I'll do that! They can't help me then! Just got to wait until I can... It's time. The knife's sharp blade pierced my skin, going so deep it burst my throat open as I bleed out fast. "Goodbye..." My eyes shut closed & my grip on the letter loosened.

-------- I'm gone, but not forgotten. ---------