2 ROB's dentist office
[1856 words]
I was in darkness for what felt like an instant and an eternity at the same time and then I opened my eyes
I surveyed my surroundings, I was in what seemed to be.... a dentist office waiting room?, Infront of me was a receptionist, she was sitting in a wooden desk dressed in a nurse's outfit, she had dark brown hair, and had pink nail polish on her nails, pretty average looks nothing special, while skimming through some documents, without looking at me she said in a flat tone, "welcome to Mr.ROB's reincarnation office, please go to the waiting room through the door on the left and wait for your name to be called"
I look to the left and see a door with a waiting room sign hanging above it, I also take this opportunity to examine the rest of my surroundings, dirty white Walls, dirty white sealing with a flickering lamp, dirty floor, no windows, no doors other than the one leading to the waiting room, no furniture other than the one desk, I then examine myself, for some reason I am wearing my Madara costume, but it seems a bit more real, I knock on the red armor, 'Yep, that's metal', while I was examining my godly form the receptionist didn't even spare me a glance
I walk towards the door, my armor clinking along, I twist the surprisingly clean door knob and push the door open, entering inside, I observe the pretty large room, it also looks extremely dirty and was completely white, there were no windows, but there were a few seats, with a few people sitting on them or standing around, sitting on the seats were a blonde cowboy looking guy smoking a cigarette, the seat next to him was empty, while a samurai guy sitting on the seat next to it, and besides him was a woman who was black, due to probably burning to death, she was talking to the severed head of a man that was resting on her lap, standing around and talking loudly were a bunch of what I assumed to be high school students, maybe around 20 of them with a woman with glasses whom I assume to be their teacher trying to calm them down, at the corner of the room was a small boy laying on the floor with his legs swinging while watching Tom and Jerry on an old big tv
while I was looking around a female student came up to me, she's the kind that would have boys all over her due to her nice personality, she just gave off the vibe of that one female character that treated the protagonist kindly when he was still a loser
anyways enough rambling, she comes up to me and says, "hi, I see that you just came in", I look down at her and say in a sarcastic voice, "oh, and you have eyes that allow you to see", hearing what I said she was stunned and couldn't reply for a second, I also heard the the cowboy guy let out a, "Gawd damn" while cleaning his revolver, I wonder how he got that maybe if I imagine something it will just pop out
while I was contemplating, the teacher comes up to me and says, "hello, I'm sorry if we are bothering you, but we were wondering if you knew what's happening", I look at her with an unamused expression and say, "oh, so you are both blind and deaf, the receptionist literally said that this is ROB's reincarnation office, pretty self explanatory if you ask me, now get out of my way before i cut off your arms and feed them to my cat"
when I pushed them aside and started walking away, a delinquent wanabe looking guy jump Infront of me while screaming, "how dare you insult Kaori chan", 'kaori chan?, oh must be that girls name, would be weird if he called his teacher chan, well whatever', without missing a beat I imagined a single edged sword and it materialized Infront of me, I instantly grabbed it and with a clean horizontal slash his head was separated from his body, after his head fell off he started screaming about some shit about not wanting to die, sadly he didn't die as he had already died, that being the reason he came here
not paying attention to him or the students freaking out, i dematerialized the sword, and made my way to the seats and sat down between the samurai and the cowboy, I pulled out a cigarette out of thin air and put it in my mouth, you bet your ass I'm gonna abuse the shit out of this, it's convenient as fuck
as I was going to make a lighter to light my cigarette, Duh, the cowboy pulled out and lit a match stick and said
"light?"
"yeah", after he lit my cigarette I puffed up a cloud of smoke and asked
"so, what's your name cowboy"
"Arthur Morgan, you?"
"Aku Akira"
"so how did you die Mr. Arthur Morgan?"
"tuberculosis", he said while letting out a puff of smoke
"yet you still smoke"
"well I already died, plus if a guy can lose his head and not die then I can probably smoke without anything happening to me, so how did you pass?"
"lung cancer"
". . . . . . ."
". . . . . . ."
"hahahahahahaha", after our short laugh I turn to the samurai
"how about you"
"haaaaaaaaa, I slept with the shogun's wife"
"do you regret it"
"nah dat shit was tight", he says with a smirk
"pfft"
"hey, what about you miss extra crispy"
"witch burnings", she says in a flat tone
"ah that oughta do it"
"yep"
and with that awkward silence rained supreme, even the high school students didn't speak as they had been listening to what we were talking about, wanting to divert from the topic, I call out to the kid watching TV
"hey kid how did you die"
without turning to look at me he says, "I'm not a kid, I'm a midget, I was a stripper and died in a gang bang, but not the fun kind, some N words just pulled up and shot me"
"woah easy there buddy"
"fuck you, they killed me for no reason, I have the right to call em that, plus they weren't even aiming for me they were aiming for another guy but somehow shot me even though I was on the other side of the street"
and with that the door opened and the receptionist called out the students and their teacher, and they all followed seemingly nervous
after the last one left and closed the door I said, "soooo, you guys wanna get hammered"
"fuck yeah", screamed out the severed head, 'i low-key forgot he existed
and with that a table full of booze appeared, and we went to town, we drank, we sang, we danced, we laughed and then we forced the midget to chug a barrel of taquila and made him do a strip show, it was so funny with him wobbling around because of how much he drank, I also joined in by taking off my armor and giving a lap dance to the extra crispy witch, she was quite happy about it, maybe something like still being able to get a man's attention after getting labeled as a witch and turning into a burned steak, but the fun had to end when I was called by the receptionist, I left with her while only wearing my pants, drunkenly wobbling behind her as she takes me back to the reception and then tells me to go through a door that was not there when I first came in, well who gives a flying fuck
I step in through the door and as soon as I do I instantly sober up somehow, meh not gonna question it
inside is a large and very luxurious office with wooden floors, a coffee table with two sofas, a tiger fur carpet and a big and I mean BIG desk, with two guest chairs Infront of it and a man with a nice suit, tidy hair and stylish glasses sitting behind the desk, he looked like a C.E.O of some big company
when he spots me he smiles and says, "please have a seat"
taking him up on that offer I sit down in one of the leather chairs, 'hmmm, very comfortable'
"well, now that you are seated I shall explain why you have come here, if we water it down, the reason you have come here is because you have kept your memories after death, and so now, you get to spend your credit points to buy wishes"
"ok, but what are these credit points?"
"oh, they are points you get after having done good deeds, and this is the only place you can spend them"
"ok, how often does a person come here?"
"well, some come here every few hundred lives, while the majority never come here", he says with a full business man smile
"isn't that a scam?"
"you're not getting scammed if you never have the chance to even know about it, plus if everyone got to spend their points it would cause a lot of chaos, and a shit tone of paper work for me, anyways back on topic you have 55 million points and it costs 10 million points per wish, so start wishing away"
"ok, first I want to be reborn on earth from the kumo Desu ga nani ka universe in the same city as the other reincarnations and attend the same class in the same school, second I want it so that D can't read my mind, third in my second reincarnation, I want to be reborn as a Ghoul like the ones from Tokyo ghoul, forth I want to be reborn ten years before everyone else, and fifth I want to keep my looks in both lives, can you do these?"
"well, the first, third, forth and fifth are all easy with just a bit of tweaking, but the second is quite hard, I mean D is The god of the end and definitely one of the most powerful gods of that Universe, so making it so that she can't read your thoughts is basically not possible, plus It would only draw her attention to you, so instead I'll make it so that she reads fabricated thoughts each time she tries to read your thoughts while you are thinking of anything that involves this place or any of your plans", ROB said as he played with his pen
I think about it for a bit and then agree, "alright sounds good"
"well, c ya later", rob says as a button appears, but before he could press it, I press it first, and with that I fall into a hole that appears in the ground while screaming, "ha ha, fuck you rob!"
[A/N: we see MC get absolutely hammered with a cowboy, a samurai, a witch, a severed head, and a midget stripper, hope you enjoyed]
