1 Prologue

You see it is not every day that you think about your own upcoming death, that you know when it is coming. How?

Well starting with misadventures, such as falling out of the bed and by some magical spell coming right out of Harry Potter, getting your feet tangled with the sheets, then stubbing your toe twice in an hour, getting stabbed on your while cutting onions.

However, that's not everything. You know the saying: ''these hoes ain't loyal''? Well in my case saying ''These motherduckers ain't loyal'' is more accurate since that was exactly what I found myself saying or more like screaming when I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him and found the motherducking ass-mongrel banging my ugly stupid bitch of a colleague, Marta.

The mongrel had the nerve to say that it wasn't what it looked like as if she came to visit him and while he was directing her to the couch, she slipped on imaginary soap and fell on him, and together they slipped to the bed.

Following the fortunate surprise- for me, since I finally dumped him- I wandered in the streets, visiting stores and eating my husband, food. At exactly 8 PM, under a strong rain, while thinking of my sad life, a car crashed into me sending me into a tree where I literally heard and felt my spine breaking. So of course being in so much pain I think I just passed out or died. Either would have been good.

𝘖𝘳 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵.