11 Chapter 9: Shrums and Hashish
Fuck a girl once, and she won't shut up.
I thought Albana was a shy girl, but now she was open and comfortable when we were alone and wouldn't stop talking.
I woke up the morning after with her head still on my chest.
She looked up and gave me a huge smile with her eyes squinted. She was so girly and cute, I had never seen her like this.
"Hey zemra jem," I said.
"Hey zemra," she said and gave me a quick kiss.
"What do you want for breakfast?" she said.
"I dunno, some gjevrek maybe?"
"Okay! You just stay here and I'll be back in a minute."
She quickly put on clothes and dashed out the door.
After only 2 minutes she was back with the food.
We sat on the bed and ate, while she snuggled up to me. From the moment she stepped her foot into the room she was talking.
"You know it was my first time, it really felt great. Once this guy from the company tried to hit on me, but I just found him so unattractive. I even cut my hair short hoping guys would stop hitting on me all the time... But Arben last night was so amazing!... I should grow my hair out again, right? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Maybe I should change my clothing style too? I feel like this robe covers me up too much, you know. It was fine before when I was trying to hide my body, but now I have to be sexy for you, you know there's so many girls out there who will try to take you from me, also... I might be pregnant now, who knows?... I miss my mom and dad... when we were in the village I remember getting bullied... it was a hybrid village actually, a place where interracial couples would go to escape judgment from their villages, it is really taboo in The Great Forest for elves and beastfolk and humans to mix, but my parents loved each other, which reminds me of..." and so on.
I liked it more before when she was shy, but it was good that she was feeling more confident and open. Though I didn't like her idea that she now had possession of me.
"Also, there was once this other guy at the company who—"
"Albana, I really need to go out and train now. I haven't trained for I don't know how long now. 7 days, 8 days? Also, if you have time while I'm out, could you fix our clothes, maybe head to a tailor or somewhere?"
"Of course," Albana said, "I can just sew them myself. You go out and have fun. When will you be back and where are you going?"
"I don't know," I said.
While Albana started talking again, I got up and put my clothes and gear on. I kissed her on the mouth, said "Tung tung," and headed out.
I was now outside.
I also realized that I hadn't explored the city yet, so I wanted to do that as well.
Today was just going to be a chill day, with no stress and no fighting. And I was finally going to get time to practise that wind flying stuff I kept dreaming about.
I thought to first head to a park, but I didn't know where the nearest one was.
In front of me there was a guy holding a package with his back turned.
"Hey shoki, where is the nearest park?"
While turning around he said, "Oh bir, don't speak Gheg in public, you want the Isk to beat us up."
Shit. I forgot to speak Tosk.
When he turned around I knew exactly why I automatically spoke Gheg: This guy looked like the prototype of a Dukagjinian man.
He was exactly the short and stout body type like the rest of my brothers. If Mehmet were here, this guy would look more closely related to my brother than myself.
The guy turned around fully and looked at my face.
The first expression on his face was surprise.
He looked me up and down.
"Ehm, yeah sure I can show you where the park is bir, it's nearby, I'm headed in the same direction," he said.
So we started walking.
"My name is Butrint Meha. I'm from a village near the Llap border by Peja. They captured me when I was about 10."
Captured was a weird word to use. I guess he must have been a slave, though he was dressed in pretty fancy clothes.
"I'm Arben Krasniqi, from the Krasniqi clan. Or was. Before Slobden the Evil killed everyone."
"Oh qyche, I'm sorry for your loss... I heard there was a war going on down south and about some new king called Slobden, though I didn't know it was this serious. So you must be new to city life. Lemme teach you a few things. First: Never speak Gheg down here. The pigs already harass us for just looking Gheg, so don't' speak it as well."
"Yeah I know, I guess I just automatically spoke Gheg because you looked so familiar."
"Haha po bre, I look like the stereotype of a fucking Dukagjinian! I get stopped by the fucking Isk three times a day just walking down the street. It's fucking annoying. But you bir, you look almost nothing like a Gheg."
"Yeah I know, I got that a lot back in the village."
"Also with those expensive ass blades and armour bir. Do you fight in the colosseum? I wouldn't know if you were some famous gladiator, I never go watch fights, I really hate violence."
"Colosseum? I heard that word before. What's it mean?"
"Oh yeah you're fresh off the mountain, we didn't have this back at home. A colosseum is that really big circle shaped building in the center of town, you might have passed by it before?"
"Yeah I have."
"So in there, warriors fight to the death for money or freedom. Mostly it is just slaves or criminals who fight, but the famous big dogs at the top get paid millions of euros! It's fucking crazy shoki! So anyway what do you do then?"
"I guess I'm what they call a dungeon-diver," I said.
"Oh qyche! You must know magic then. That's really rare for a Dukagjinia, they don't teach that shit up in the mountains."
"Yeah, I had to teach myself. I've been training alone since I was a baby, it feels like. By the way, how did you get to Prishtina?"
"Long story. So after getting captured, I was sold from Drenica to Mitrovica to become a labourer. But I was really good at math and business, so they promoted me to merchant, and sent me here. I kept getting promoted because I'm so good at making money, so now I have my own office."
"Oh shit, they gave you your own office bir?"
"Yeah bir, I make so much money for them that they're afraid I'll run away and just join another company, so they have to give me nice shit and pay me a lot to make me stay. By the way, you must be a really good dungeon-diver because I keep looking at those swords and they look expensive as fuck!"
"Oh no bir I'm shit at dungeon-diving, I just started. I got these swords from two beastmen who tried to kill me."
"Oh shit bir, you're hardcore!"
We had walked for a few minutes now. Butrint stopped me.
"Hey shoki, you see this building here with a heart painted on the side?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well I'm about to teach you something: The heart means that this is a brothel. Brothels have all kinds of useful stuff bir! You can get drugs, contacts, but most importantly, kurve! The price is 20 euro, but you need to pay at least 40 euros if you don't want an ugly witch. This brothel is the best in the city though so you have to pay at least 50 euros for any girl here. Quality over quantity shoki, never fuck an ugly kurve, speaking from expertise here. Anyways, I have to drop this package off and pick something up. Let's go inside."
"Yeah sure."
We went inside the brothel. It smelled like perfume.
We were immediately greeted by 5 beautiful women.
"Hey Butrint shief, who's this handsome man? You brought us a new toy?" one of them said.
"No no, not right now we're busy. But he's a good friend of mine so make sure to give him a discount the first time he comes."
"Of course, a friend of Butrint is our friend."
It seems he was a regular customer.
Also, when he called me a good friend of his, it made me feel good. Besides Albana, I really didn't know anyone and it made me feel lonely.
Butrint dropped off the package and received a bag.
"Bir, look inside," he said and showed me the bag. It was filled with mushrooms and some other black stuff.
"This right here, bir, this is the source of happiness," he said, "the highest quality shrums and hashish in Dardania! Here, eat this," he said and gave me this black thing.
He also took a piece out of the bag and ate one. I ate it too.
"Let's head to the park, it's close to my office," he said and out we went.
"Goodbye boys! Make sure to come back."
"Of course we will, tung tung!" Butrint said.
***
When we made it to the park we were already high and I couldn't stop giggling. Butrint sat on a bench and I stood in front of him, getting ready to train.
"HAHAHAHAHA! Hey bir, eat this," he said and threw me some mushrooms. I ate them and he ate some as well.
"Okay shoki," I said, "look at this. I'm gonna train now!"
"Fuck yeah! Show me bir, how you tall, handsome, athletic boys train!"
"Hehe, okay look," I said.
I put my feet together, and my hands stretched by my hips, then I concentrated.
I started doing it like I did in my dream.
I slowly made a stream of wind come out of my feet and hands. I started flying half a meter above ground. It was hard keeping my balance, but I kept calibrating.
"Oh my fucking Albin Goat God! You are levitating!"
"Jo bre bir, I'm flying. Look underneath my feet I'm creating wind" I said.
"But what, I didn't hear you chant? Did you mumble it or something?"
"Jo bre, I don't fuck with chanting, it takes too long. I only do Imagination Magic?"
"The fuck is Imagination Magic bir?"
"Okay, so," I started giving a long explanation, "... so since all magic is just energy conversion, and chanting is a very set way of energy conversion, you can just skip it and control your mana with your mind and make it do stuff."
"But bir, you are the only one I've ever seen doing chantless magic. I heard it's really rare. Like, one in a billion rare. But this is fucking dope! Can you fly higher?"
"Of course shoki, watch!"
I started flying even higher, about 5 meters up.
I was starting to get the hang of this, but I still needed way more practise.
I then tried to slowly fly down on the ground and I landed, but a little hard.
Then I tried flying up again but it was really shaky.
I then got the idea to first jump into the air, and then make the wind-propulsion, instead of starting from the ground, and it worked way better and it was much easier to stabilize.
And now, instead of only going up and down, I started practising moving around by keeping my feet still but moving my hands around.
I also learned I could bend my upper body around and such to create different movements.
Butrint was looking at me in amazement.
I decided to take a break. Whenever I do new kinds of magic, I always feel really tired quickly. But as I do the same type of magic more, it gets easier to do and I get tired less quickly.
"Biirrrrrrrr, do you even know what this means! You must be the most valuable slave in the world!"
"What do you mean, I'm not a slave?"
Upon hearing that, Butrint's face turned serious and businessman-like.
"Could you please elaborate upon that?" he said.
"Well, I'm not a slave. I simply passed the border with Tailless and Speedy, my Riding Lizards. I was captured for a day or so, but I killed the two beastmen who captured me and that's where I got these swords."
"Wait, so wait..." Butrint was processing what I just said. "Show me your fake border pass or fake citizen card."
"I don't have one."
He looked at me in shock.
"Whaaat!"
He again took a pause to process what I just said. Then he looked up at me.
"You are one lucky bastard. You have no idea the danger you have been dodging. Let me explain what has happened: Because you look nothing like someone from Dukagjina, and because you are wearing such expensive equipment, the Isk and every guard you have passed by have thought you were just a normal dude. Let me make something clear right now: You need a fake pass! Luckily for you, one of my many side hustles is making fake credentials. I usually charge 500 euros, but since you are my friend you are getting it for free."
"Oh shit bir, thank you. I had no idea. By the way, I have a partner. Can you make one for her as well? She is a runaway elf slave."
"A slave elf? Hunting pure races from The Great Forest isn't forbidden I guess, but it's so unprofitable and dangerous that no one does it, and no company dares buy a pure race, and a lot of high-ranking employees are pure races from the nobility in The Great Forest, so they would never enslave their own kind" Butrint said, looking confused.
"Yeah, she's a quarter elf, quarter human, quarter beastman, and quarter elf again, I think."
"Oh that explains it. And let me guess, her parents were in love and ran away together and joined some kind of hippie village with no protection from slave-catchers?"
"Sounds about right," I said.
"Well of course I'll make one for her as well shoki. Okay, let's head over to my office before a fucking pig stops us. Also, let's stop by the furra on the way, I'm feeling hungry."
We started walking again.
"By the way, how old are you bir?" Butrint asked.
"I have no idea. I stopped counting long ago."
"How little experience do you have with city life bir? Have you never heard of an information card? It is this magical item that gives you information about someone when you make them put mana into it. We'll pick one up on the way and use it in my office."
We kept walking and talking.
Butrint quickly went into a store and came back with a bunch of stuff, including an information card.
We then went into a furra to get something to eat. It was then the mushrooms hit me as well.
Suddenly, all the colours started getting intense and started moving. I looked at Butrint's face and it reminded me of Tailless's face, and it kept moving as well. Everything looked so cool.
"A company bir!" I grabbed Butrint's shoulders and looked him in the eyes euphorically. "LET'S START OUR OWN COMPANY!"
"Fuck yeah!" said Butrint. "I'm fucking tired of working for the boss, making money for someone else. I want to be the boss! I want to make my own fucking euros bir! Oh, but I need to pay 5000 euros to buy my freedom."
"Shoki, just stop spending money on whores and drugs, and you can—"
"How preposterous! Are you fucking crazy Arben! Whores and drugs is the meaning of life! What would I do without them!"
Everyone inside the furra was staring at us.
"Okay, I got an idea! I'm a fucking genius! I will keep dungeon diving and make the 5000 euros and start-up capital we need for the company!"
"You're a fucking genius!" Butrint said, and hugged me.
"We can start our own private army and take back our homeland and get revenge on Slobden the Evil!"
"How are you so fucking brilliant!" Butrint said.
It was a miracle there were no guards nearby, or during this entire trip.
We were now walking into the office, at the peak of our high.
We entered and Butrint's receptionist stood up.
While Butrint was enthusiastically telling me about the best combination of drugs and whores for the maximum amount of happiness, the receptionist said, "Pershundetje Mr. Meha, you have three messages—"
Butrint slapped her with the back of his hand.
"Ta qifsha none! Don't interrupt me while I'm talking! What did I say! Raise your fucking hand if you have something to say! How dare you interrupt me while we are in the presence of Arben The Great! Bow for Arben, kurve!"
"Yes shief," she said and bowed.
We headed into his office.
"God damn these fucking bitches, you fuck them once and all their respect goes out the window. Anyway, let's use the information card to check your age and make these fake passes. By the way, this is a really basic and cheap card, so it won't show stuff like level and skills. If you want to you can buy an advanced information card to see stuff like that, but I don't recommend it because they are fucking expensive and only work once. What I recommend is saving up and buying a permanent advanced information card. It's shum expensive, but you can use it forever and keep updating it as long as you don't lose it. Though after you use it, only you can keep using it and it won't work for others."
"Huh? how does it work?" I said.
"I don't fucking know bir, just a lot of complex magical circles built into the thing. The permanent advanced information card is thicker than a book and has a fuck ton of complex magical circles built into it. The usual price is 5000 euros, but I can get you one for 2900 euros."
"Holy shit bir!" I said, "That's what we have to pay for you. What the fuck. But thanks, I'll make sure to buy one when I have enough money."
Butrint gave me the information card and I started channelling my mana into it. It stated:
Name: Arben Krasniqi
Age: 16
Weight: 75 kgs
Height: 1,85 cm
Mana points: 10.000
Butrint looked at the card too.
Suddenly he snatched the card from my hand violently and put it closer to his face.
He kept looking at it.
Then he dropped it. Then he picked it up again and kept looking at it. He got a magical lighter from his drawer, and burned the card.
"Arben, you crazy motherfucker, listen to me closely: Never, ever, in the history of your fucking life, tell anyone how many mana points you have! Got it?!"
"Yeah, sure shoki. Why though?"
"Okay, so the part about mana points. How many mana points you have is measured by how many liters of water you can produce at once, not accounting for magical skill or mana regeneration. One mana point is 1 liter. That means you can produce 10 tons. To put that into perspective, the average high level mage only has 2.000 mana points, which is a lot. YOU HAVE TEN FUCKING THOUSAND!"
"Okay bir, chill."
After Butrint calmed down, he made the two fake passes for me and Albana.
It was already night by now, so I decided to go back to the inn and sleep, plus Butrint had business to attend to.
I promised to come back to Butrint's office again in two days to visit him.
"If you ever need my help, call me and I will come right away," Butrint said.
If you ever need my help, call me and I will come right away," I said.
"Kalovsh mire shoki," Butrint said.
"Kalovsh mire shoki, tung tung," I said.
Next day I'd meet Mimoza, the mother of my second child, Arben Junior The Destroyer, a peaceful guy who once accidentally burned down The Great Forest.
