21 A look into the past

[Al POV]

[Astora, Kings County]

*Shink!*

I drove my straight sword into the back of a bandit that was trying to crawl away, our orders were absolute, no survivors. Though it Irked me to be killing those that could no longer fight, we had no choice but to make an example of them. It had been not even been two years since the Evil Eye had assailed our homeland, leaving destruction in its wake. Thanks to the Knights of Astora and many of my brothers in arms of the order, the beast was defeated and sealed inside a ring by the sorcerer Logan, and gifted to our King. But this victory did not come without sacrifice.

Large swaths of our farmlands were destroyed and blighted by the beast's toxic miasma, leaving the fields unable to produce, and causing a famine. It wasn't long before the grain stores of the commoners ran out, and they resorted to banditry to make ends meet. Though I understood their plight, I had to put them down, before they hurt any more innocent people. But even then, to cull them indiscriminately, it made me sick.

*RAHHHHHHHH!*

I was jerked from my reverie by a loud high-pitched shout, it seems I had wandered away from my unit without notice. I raised my wooden kite shield on instinct to block the bandits' strike, resulting in an ax's blade slightly piercing the wood. Taking advantage of his jammed weapon, I whipped my shield to the left, yanking the axe from their hand, and plunged my sword through their leather armor with a sickening sound.

*Squelch*

"A- Ahhhhh- AHHHHH!!!" The young lad screamed more in shock than pain, he couldn't have been older than fourteen, not even to my chest in height. I gripped the hilt of my sword until my knuckles turned white, I needed to pull it out and end the boys suffering. With a yank, I released it from the meaty prison and angled it to pierce his heart...

"ma- M- MA...MAMA!" I couldn't help but freeze, he was laying there, trying to shove his intestines back into his stomach, while crying for his mother. I....I can't even move my arm...

While I was in my shocked paralysis, I was grabbed on my shoulder and someone attempted to move me out of the way, but due to my rigidness, I was toppled over like a felled tree instead. I glanced up at the one that had knocked me down and saw the smiling sun of Solarie's shield.

"Sola-!" I tried to say something, I don't know what I would have said though. 'Don't kill him!' that would have made me a traitor. There was no way to stop this, he had to die. Solaire knew that as well, and without a word or hesitation, stepped forward and plunged his sword into the boys' chest. The boy grabbed the edge of the blade with his bare hands and tried to remove it, slicing himself in the process, blood dripping onto his face. His struggles got weaker and weaker, until his arms fell weakly over his chest, eyes with no luster stared forward in terror at the cloudy sky.

I stared at his body, I killed someone's boy, a child, not even a man. "I- I'm sorry" I weakly mumbled before breaking into sobs. I don't know why this one death affected me more than the dozen men I killed. Was it his age? Him begging for his mother? The pointlessness of it all? I didn't even need to kill him, he wasn't a threat! I murdered him! IN COLD BLO-

*Clang!*

"Ah!" I gasped in shock when I felt something impact the side of my helmet, the cheap nasal helmet went flying away from me and I looked at Solaire in shock, he had just punched me. I looked at his right hand that was bright red and twitching, with two fingers bent the wrong way.

"Solaire I-" Solaire didn't let me finished and pulled me off the ground with his left hand, till I was face to face with him. An impressive feat seeing as we were wearing chainmail and a hauberk. "I killed him, you didn't, I stabbed him through his heart. You didn't do it, do you understand!?"

He yelled into my face and I nodded numbly, I realized that he had killed the boy to save me of the guilt, and when I realized that I wept once again, but this time he didn't hit me but pulled me into a hug, thankfully there was only our unit, and no Sergeants around, or we might have been forced to leave the field. The other, older, soldiers stayed quiet and let me get it out of my system.

I didn't find the honor and glory of my first battle, but I did find a greater drive to succeed in my purpose, to help Solaire find his own.