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Chapter 3 - Is It Wrong To Be A Chainsaw Man In A Dungeon?

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

[Narration]

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I had a long talk with Hestia about my skill, and I could see her smiling about how she "had an excellent child that would become great."

 

Due to my height, sleeping on the couch was uncomfortable, but I slept through worse things.

 

When I woke up, I found Hestia sleeping on me, and being the nice person I am, I moved her without waking her.

 

When she got up, I had already finished my shower and needed to buy new clothes. I had gone to the guild for registration and sold the Minotaur stone for 20,000 valis.

 

Getting a book on all the monsters in the dungeon I read it while traveling with Hestia to see if they could make a copy of my clothes.

 

I didn't throw away my shirt; I just kept it in my jacket pocket. I settled on ten copies, and Hestia looked at me like I was crazy.

 

To max out my endurance quickly, I would have to take damage and then heal that damage by eating the dungeon creatures alive.

 

At least that was my plan for maxing out everything. I couldn't have armor for this strategy to work.

I gave the rest of the valis to Hestia, as I would be going into the dungeon today. I would be left with just my jacket, pants, and shoes until they finished making my clothes.

 

Now that I was walking to the dungeon, I got weird looks. Obviously, people would look at a guy who had no armor on and was barely dressed walking into the dungeon like he was crazy.

 

As I was about to enter, someone grabbed me by the shoulder. "Hey buddy, are you sure you want to go in there?" The guy who grabbed my shoulder didn't mean anything bad about it.

 

I believe he was trying to save my life, but he was trying to save someone who didn't need saving.

 

"I'm sure I want to go in there." As I was speaking, I took his hand off my shoulder.

 

"If you go in there like you are now, you'll die." He spoke with more seriousness in his voice.

 

"Nah, I'd live." I turned to him with a smirk before walking off into the dungeon. He was stunned, but I heard a laugh behind me as I walked forward.

The entrance to the dungeon was a winding staircase that went down to a hole in the center.

 

It was a lot like a bowl with stairs on the side of it. As I entered the hole, I saw the semi-uneven ground of the dungeon.

 

The more I walked, the quicker I realized I would have to do a lot more walking before I found any dungeon monsters.

 

The first and second floors would be mostly cleared out, mainly due to the people hunting there and the groups trying to pass by.

 

I hadn't run into any monsters until the third floor. It might have been due to not knowing where to look, or a group could have been passing through where I was currently heading.

There were two monsters in front of me, and both of them were Kobolds. We stared at each other for half a second before both of the Kobolds moved simultaneously.

 

Dog-like creatures always worked better in packs. They were going to try to split my attention so that they could get their licks in and tire me out.

 

I slowly brought my hand to the cord attached to my chest. My finger went through the triangle handle and gripped it tightly.

 

"Let's dance!" And with a tug of the black cord, I was no longer fully human.

 

*BRUM-BRUM-BRUM-VVVVVRRRRRRMMMMMM*

 

The chainsaws were blaring and spinning as fast as they could. Hearing the sudden noise, the Kobold on my left side threw a slash toward my face.

 

It was immediately stopped by my right chainsaw arm, but the thing about chainsaws was that they were spinning blades.

 

If you collided with one, then you could kiss your body part goodbye. Even without lifting a finger, due to the weight behind the attack, Kobold's left hand was cut off.

The cut wasn't clean at all and left bits and chunks of the arm hanging in some places. The left hand dropped to the ground, and the Kobold had backed off.

 

It looked at its left hand, wondering why its attack had failed. They don't normally deal with adventures with weapons that spin at high velocity.

 

I picked up the hand and bit into it. The blood didn't taste all that good, but every time I activated this ability, I would lose a bit of my blood. Healing this would be a priority, as too much blood loss would lead to my chainsaws sinking back into my body.

 

As I was chewing the hand, the second Koblod made itself known as it lunged at me. I turned my head.

 

*CRACCCKKK-CRUNCH-VVVVVRRRRMMMM*

The chainsaw on my head had sliced directly into its skull and killed it instantly.

I quickly turned and lunged at the second Kobold, who was still barely getting together on how to attack me.

 

My right hand had begun slicing in between his neck and shoulder. My blade kept going through till I made it to his heart.

 

*Poof*

 

He turned into a puff of smoke as the magic stone fell out, which allowed my blade to freely pass by. Pulling my arm chainsaws back into my body, I picked up both stones. I did have to cut open the body to get the stones, which I didn't mind.

 

My jacket had two front pockets that had zippers and two back pockets that didn't have zippers. I put the two stones in my right front jacket pocket and closed it just to make sure it wouldn't fall out.

 

'When I get out of here, I definitely need better storage items. I should also get some other things as well.' With that thought, I walked deeper into the dungeon.

Unlike a sword that you need to swing, aim, and put force into, a chainsaw doesn't need all of that.

 

I've been fighting very sloppily in order to take damage so that I can max out my endurance.

 

The Kobolds really didn't stand much of a chance when they couldn't even keep their hands off of the massive spinning blades.

 

On my way to the fifth floor, I found a group of seven. Two Kobolds and five Goblins. They all turned in my direction upon the first one noticing me.

 

"What are you standing there for? Come at me." I don't know if my provocation had any effect, but they all started to sprint in my direction.

I wasn't the one to be left out of the party, so I sprinted at them. The Kobold reached me first and attempted a downward claw strike.

 

The claw was intercepted by my left chainsaw arm and completely cut off. With that, I cut into the body of the Kobold.

 

My right chainsaw went straight through its ribcage and started blending its organs. The chainsaw would turn the area in the chest to mush, which allowed the magic stone to fall out.

*Poof*

 

It turned into a magic stone pretty quickly, as two Goblins came up to me at the same time.

 

They were short, stubby creatures, and with me being taller than them, my arm reach was way bigger than theirs.

A quick swing from my right hand, and the first Goblin was a puff of smoke on the ground. Cut through the chest, and the body was cut in half with the magic stone sliding out.

 

*Poof*

 

For the other Goblin, I turned and allowed its clawed hand to make contact with my torso. Don't get me wrong; it hurt, but I couldn't think of the pain and only thought of the gain.

 

I retracted my left chainsaw and grabbed that clawed hand, only to rip off its arm with my right chainsaw.

 

Taking the arm to my mouth, I bit down and began eating it. The wound on my torso started closing rapidly.

 

The other Kobold and two Goblins were behind me. Turning around with the arm still in my mouth, I saw the Goblin mid-air-

 

*CRUNCH-CRACK-VVVRRRRRMMMMM*

*Poof*

They never did learn to not aim for my head, huh? The goblin had impaled itself on the chainsaw in my forehead and instantly turned to smoke.

 

I let the Goblin with only one arm get a few more attacks in while I continued eating its arm.

I only allowed it to claw me, and whenever I saw it going for a bite, I would kick it in the face.

 

The last Kobold and the last fully armed Goblin clawed at me. I let it happen as they stabbed at my legs and sides.

 

When I finally finished the entire arm, I dodged the attack from the Kobold and cut its arm off.

 

The cut wasn't clean at all, and it looked as if the flesh still hanging on to the stump of the Kobold was sent through a meat grinder.

 

I picked up the arm and began eating it while letting the one-armed Goblin attack me.

 

Even if my heart was pierced, as long as I had the arm to drink or, in my case, eat the blood from, I would be fine.

 

My head and neck were metallic due to the chainsaw add-ons. I watched the last Goblin try to attack me, but I blocked him with the flat side of my chainsaw.

Retracting my right chainsaw, I grabbed the Goblin by the neck.

 

"Thanks for the food," I said as I bit down on its cranium.

 

*CRRAACCKK-*

 

The Goblin continued to struggle and claw at me, with even his armed friends trying their best.

 

The blood rushing from its head kept me up, and eventually...

 

*CRACK-CRUNCH-VVVVRRRMMMMM*

*CRRUNNCH*

*Poof*

 

The Goblin turned into a magic stone right as I fully chomped on his brain. My chainsaw had made its way through its chest and fully churned his insides. The insides became chunks as the magic stone was pulled out.

The Kobold behind me went for another claw attack, but I turned around.

 

Once again, the chainsaw on my hand had blocked the attack and had sawed off most of the fingers on the creature's hand.

 

I grabbed the hand with my right hand and stopped Kobold from pulling away. Taking my left chainsaw and holding it above the Kobold's single-arm, I spoke.

 

"Are you ready? This is gonna hurt." I said as I slowly pulled my chainsaw down.

 

*VVVVRRRRRMMM*

 

The Kobold tried its best to pull away from me as it began yelling in agony. It sounded very dog-like.

 

*CRACCKK-CRUNCH-VVRRRRRRMMMMMM*

 

The chainsaw slowly broke through the bone, and when it finally finished going all the way through the arm, it was mine.

The Kobold fell backward as it was shivering and shaking from the pain. The last goblin had been non-stop clawing at my back, and I had enough of it.

 

Putting the arm in my mouth and chewing it, I stood up quickly and, with my free hand, back-handed the Goblin.

 

The Goblin visibly recoiled, as it didn't expect me to turn around. I turned back to the Kobold still on the ground and walked up to it.

 

As soon as it saw my back, the goblin attacked me. I would heal by chewing the arm, and once the arm ran out, I would hit the Goblin with an open hand and cut off the Kobold's leg.

 

The Kobold would scream and shake, but I didn't care. Once I had a healing source, I allowed the Goblin to do its thing.

 

The leg ran out after some time, and I went to chop off the last limb of the Kobold. It tried crawling away at some point in a futile last attempt, but it didn't get very far.

 

The screams of pain were music to my ears as I put the last limb in my mouth.

When the last arm was finally gone and I fully healed the scars on my body, I turned to the Goblin.

 

It shivered in fear and backed off, expecting a hand, but it never came. Using my open hand, I punched the Goblin in the face, sending it falling backward.

 

Before it could get up from the unexpected punch, I placed my foot on its chest and held my chainsaw to its left leg.

 

*VVVVVVRRRMMMMM-CRACK*

 

Slowly gliding my chainsaw through its leg, I watched as it squirmed in agony. The screams would be savored as well.

 

When I was finally done, I picked up its leg and put it in my mouth. The Goblin began clawing at me with renewed vigor as I ate the limb.

 

The pain of doing this cannot be underestimated. I was experiencing a lot of pain, but the thought of gain overtook the pain.

 

When I chomped down on the last bit of the leg, I turned to the Goblin again. It actively tried to get away, but I pulled on its last remaining leg and dragged it back.

 

Chopping off the leg slowly and watching the Goblin scream its lungs out was funny. I ate the limb quickly, as the Goblin didn't seem to want any more of me.

 

'What a shame...' I thought as I took my chainsaw and slowly pressed it down on its chest.

 

*VVVRRRR-CRUNCH-MMMMMM*

*Poof*

I picked up all the magic stones and put them in my pocket.

 

With a smile on my face, I continued to the fifth floor. It was weirdly quiet, as if the dungeon was appalled at what I had done to its creatures.

 

I continued until I found one thing that I was truly hunting for on this journey. The Killer Ant is a monster with an ability that I would abuse.

 

The killer ant turned to me and flexed its mandibles. It charged at me instantly, without a care in the world.

The Killer ant tried to take a bite out of me, only to find its mandibles ripped from its mouth. A clean cut was made to its face.

 

The Killer Ant tried to use its clawed legs only to find that each time it tried to use one of its legs, they would be cut off.

 

Now with no legs, no ability to attack, and no mouth, The Killer Ant could only sit there.

The shell of the creature was hard, but when compared to a chainsaw, all it would take was more speed and force.

 

I sat on top of the creature as it squirmed and thrashed. It suddenly stopped, and I knew what it was doing.

 

I heard the yells of monsters coming from far away. The Killer Ant has an ability, and the ability attracts monsters.

 

The only time it uses it is when it's kept alive long enough to be in a pinch.

I have no idea why this one was on the fifth floor. I could have been correct with the idea of a group passing by, and the Killer Ant I was sitting on could be one of the stragglers that didn't catch up to the group.

 

If the group idea is right and they are still alive, then this should attract a bunch of monsters.

 

I saw that the first monster to get to me was another Killer Ant. It had blood still on its mandibles, so it seems I was right in my assumption.

 

Then came the Kobolds and Goblins. The numbers were pretty hefty, too. Whoever died from these things really must have gathered a lot of them.

 

Six Killer Ants, twelve Goblins, fifteen Kobolds, and even two Frog Shooters. It was truly an unlucky day for anyone else, but for me, this day just keeps getting better and better.

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(POV: ???)

On the fifth floor, there is currently a large battle taking place. Five Killer Ants were lying on the ground with all their limbs removed.

 

They were still alive, with all of them using their ability to call more of their companions.

 

Tens of monsters were on one floor. More of them were born from the walls of the dungeon, all to kill one being.

 

With more monsters showing up, whoever is going against them won't be able to last-

 

*VVVVRRRRRMMMMM*

"LET'S FUCKING GO!" A chainsaw suddenly cut through a Goblin, only for another chainsaw to pierce a Kobold.

 

Upon killing both of those creatures, the chainsaw man ran through the hordes of enemies. No matter where he pointed his weapon, he would always get a kill.

 

Culling through multiple monsters, he seemed to have a smile on his face, if you could even call it that.

 

Suddenly, a Frog Shooter threw out an attack. It hit the back of the head of the chainsaw man.

 

Falling to the ground only to get dogpiled by monsters. The chainsaw man appeared to have died.

*CRRAC-VVVVRRRRRMMMMM*

 

A chainsaw appeared through the top of the pile. Impaling a Goblin and turning the insides into a pile of shredded flesh chunks, the chainsaw man appeared again.

 

"This is amazing!" He screamed out as he blocked a Frog Shooter tongue with his chainsaw arm. The tongue was immediately disfigured beyond repair.

 

"I heal, you damage me, I do damage, and I heal again!" The voice held a certain amount of craziness in it.

 

The chainsaw man's arms spread out like a gift coming from the heavens. He suddenly charged at the closest living target. "I'm a fucking perpetual motion machine!"

 

Striking a pose as he spoke, the chainsaw man continued cutting through the hordes of dungeon monsters.

*VVVVRRRRRRMMMMMM*

The chainsaw blared as he made contact with a kobold and slashed downward. The chainsaw got caught in its ribcage, but he kept pulling.

 

Splitting the Kobold in half, he continued his slaughter. "This dungeon ain't got sh*t on me! I'm him!" In his insanity, he kept screaming at the top of his lungs.

 

"I can do this forever! Bring everything you've got! I'm going to kill every last one of you!"

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3,037 Words.

Perpetual Motion Acquired!

Who knew taking a blade that spins at high speed would be so busted in a dungeon?

I'll be working on chapter 4 after this and chapter 3 of "Chainsaw Man: The Freedom Devil" so be prepared for that to drop.