19 Desire

I stare at Mordred who's awaiting my answer to make a final judgment. Eagerly waiting for my answer he sits up straight having an almost perfect posture. In all this whole conversation I couldn't see Erika, but she gave off a sense of uneasiness following my words.

"I'll follow Erika's idea to have you teach me how to become stronger in combat. That's the first thing in order. Next Erika's knowledge of Frozen Requiem will come in handy, of course, I can't depend on it due to her not having her full memories. Lastly, since we know of knights and Virtualizer's location. Once you tell us we can make plans to find the area and get an idea of what we're working with."

Looking back to Mordred I could see him thinking. From a distance, it looked as if my idea had pleased him. I can't be for sure...but it's was a safe bet.

"Well, your idea isn't bad, we can only use it as a base as we can never know what to expect. Especially with such a random phenomenon occurring every so often."

Finishing his last words he gets up and walks up towards me with determination in his eyes.

"I'll do my part I just need you to do the same, what do you say kid?"

From his words, I could tell the pieces were all aligned in place and all I needed at this point was Erika's help.

"That's fine by me."

I'll strive to reach the result I want. This is just the beginning and I know that. Only time can tell what I may have ahead. Truly it seems as if my old life just slipped between my grasp. Living anew, still aiming for that purpose.

Mordred grins in agreement before placing his hand on my shoulder. Come on man...space.

"Starting today then I'll be expecting your combat skills to shine and hopefully it will be worth the time."

"Yeah, yeah."

I come off quite uninterested. Although this is helpful there isn't any guarantee it will be worth my time investment. With no knowledge of the knight's abilities, we are practically blind.

"Yuri, aren't you getting a bit too worked up on this? aren't you like a bit too into it "

Her words confuse me as it catches me off guard. I'm helping her reach her goal and as much as I can so why does she question it? I can't help but give it my all for Erika since she saved my life so that answer should be as clear as day. Makes me think how I can never understand others' intentions or feelings it's strange really...

"I don't think so... I'm just doing all I can since you saved my life nothing to it but that. It's only because of that otherwise I would not involve myself in such a mess."

"I guess, but going this far you could potentially die....you do know that right?"

Erika hesitates to continue and stops to let a heavy silence fall on the room.

"I know."

I've always known it's something I gradually accepted it's strange why I did. For some reason, the thought never scared me. it was something that seemed close yet so far. A fleeting realization, dreams waiting to reach the end.

It's not that I would say I would face death head-on but more that I had already accepted it's always near. The more I think I realize I'm one big mess of a person. Wanting to save others but distancing myself from those same people...It made no sense, I made no sense. I hated such people yet I was such a hypocrite. Having no self-worth it was almost like a coincidence, fate even.

"I know, I always have. There's always that risk, but reaching what I want would be stronger than some fear of one's inevitable death. Plus I owe you for saving my life no?"

The silence continues leaving a sense of dread I truly wondered what Erika was thinking.

"...just don't put my goal over anything you care about, okay? your life is more important than my goal."

I nod in agreement I had no reason to. It simply made me think about how many layers there were to Erika. Soon after Erika would become awfully silent not really mentioning anything leaving me and Mordred to talk occasionally just answering yes or no.

"While I don't know a lot about your combat abilities. I was able to find out some things from last time. Such as your ability to make a perfect replica of that sword of yours...it was truly something. Yo Erika, I'm assuming you weren't able to do that when you had your full abilities to Frozen Requiem correct?"

Erika doesn't respond, she was almost completely out of it it was odd. She finally responds in a low tone after moments of silence.

"Yes..."

"Meaning that must have something to do with you, kid. So I wonder if you're just limited to making your sword or if you can copy other objects..."

Mordred stops speaking clearly thinking and looks around. Something with me...huh. I can't help but think it's nothing special. Of course, I didn't I've always thought of myself that way. No matter my achievement I never took credit or praised myself. It was a repeated cycle of no self-worth

Facing towards me again Mordred passes me a piece of metal no bigger than a pencil. Barely catching with on hand I take a closer look at it. It's an old dagger rusty a bit on the blade. Who throws a dagger...like a ball. I brush off that thought and continue holding the dagger in my hand. On closer look, It was a silver dagger. Nothing particularly fancy merely looked like a throwing knife commonly used by assassins. Quick and light having no weight but powerful enough to kill, it's fascinating to some extent. I turn my head up after finishing my last look at it. In between that, I kept noticing that I could see more than just the dagger in my hand. The dagger itself seemed to become almost like a hologram showing it's structure the longer I looked at it. Almost see-through, I would rub my eyes and notice it was fine and I thought it was just my imagination. Although once I gave it another good look, the same thing would occur again. In addition to an absurd amount of mana or magical energy, that was present in the dagger. This time it felt like I was seeing a blueprint telling me everything about this dagger. Just looking at it gave me a headache beyond belief. It made me lose balance for a moment. holding on nearby I held onto the table managing to keep myself from falling. Amidst all this, I could only think what the hell was this dagger. Well, it's not like I didn't know everything about it now, but why was this suddenly happening now. I remember that sorts of images would appear whenever I looked at an object for too long that I eventually just decided to stop looking at things. Once my father took notice he never mentioned it again. After a while, they never appeared again after my father...what did he do? Nevermind that's not important. In the distance, I would hear Mordred. My bad balance caught Erikas attention as she suddenly begins to talk after so long.

"Are you alright Yuri?"

I could feel a sense of worry in her voice, although it was almost for no reason.

"I'm alright, don't worry about me...Just a headache that's all."

Speaking of which that headache was turning my head into a burning mess, it hurt quite a lot.

"Mind explaining what the hell this thing is?"

I say while looking towards Mordred who still looked intrigued. I'm not sure we the words came out sounding pissed off or curious.

"Hmmm...Yo Erika, you noticed this right?"

"You mean his strange knack to see the structure of an object?"

Mordred nods in agreement while I pull myself up, properly standing on my feet.

"You realize what that means right?"

Between responses, there's a pause in between where Erika stays awfully silent.

"...Yes"

"Then you realize how beneficial it is...but as well as it's risks, right?"

Their back and forward conversations confuse me. It's almost one-sided with Mordred being in the opposition and Erika barely even making a sound.

"I don't see a reason not to use it to your advantage and reach your goal a lot easier. So then my question is why are you hesitating Erika."

"..."

Erika doesn't respond. It's odd while I have only known her for a couple of days this is a first for me. She's always being helpful and caring all while carrying a sense of class or resolve. To see her like this...It's strange. Being in this type of moment makes me remember about Miyuki and how even she's similar in a sense after last time. A sense of dread fills my mind as I await what could potentially be to decide the outcome of my empty shallow fate. My headache seems to slowly fade as words are finally spoken

"It would be helpful indeed, but it would defeat the reason I had such a goal in the first place. Let's say I were to achieve that goal of mine...if that's true I would have lost any sense of reason to complete it in the first place."

"Hmph, so you would try and change the fate of someone as empty and devoid of self-worth. Even if that person wouldn't mind...Hmph, You truly are too good for your own sake."

"Maybe so....but I believe such a person can change from such fate. So even if my goal isn't reached if I at least manage to change that said fate, then im happy."

While I had almost no clue as to what they were referring to, such words we're powerful even I could tell the emotion she put into them. They gave off a feeling and sensation of reassurance. as to why I would only question it myself. Maybe it was because a part of me knew what they were referring to and denied it. At this point, I didn't know what was true or false. Same as clinging to such a false sense of hope. I pull myself tighter and finally break up their conversation to ask a question myself.

"So...like what exactly did guys go on about for so long..."

After I speak the last words Mordred's face lights up in laughter as he hits the couch and puts his other hand on his stomach.

"Hahaha...hah!..your joking kid, right?"

Dude come on this is my house...Mordred turns to face again and speaks.

"Huh? wait you aren't joking? Hey! Miyuki you hear that your words went right through his head."

"S-shut up!"

Hearing Erika saying that makes me smile a bit inside.

"Anyways kid now that I know you can pretty much see the structure of that knife I want you to make a copy of it."

"Copy?"

"Yes, to be more precise the same thing you did with our fight when you made a replica of that sword of yours."

The memory of that battle hits my head, I remember suddenly almost instinctively doing it. Had I not, I would've been knocked most likely

"Got it."

I hold the dagger in my hand and close my eyes while I begin to whisper the activation sequence.

"Restrictions...Released...Virtualizer...Linked...Act 1."

I picture the dagger in my head. A complete picture almost like a deconstruction of it, detailed to the brim. It's size, length, and weight...everything. It's a thin grip, it's cold stainless steel blade. Just a blade would cut something like a watermelon in an instant. The amount of magical energy messes up my concentration a bit, but im able to ignore it.

"Visualize..."

I say under my breath. Slowly magical energy courses through my veins into my hand and out.

The violent storm of energy in my hand begins to take form. Bit by bit I could sense it taking form until I feel an object in my hand. Opening my eyes I could see I was successful. One look from my replica to the genuine thing in my right hand, and it was almost impossible to see the difference. It's fundamental structure and the base was the same. The only thing that set it apart was the lack of a huge amount of magical energy within the dagger. I find Mordred to be looking in awe at me but im not sure why. To me, this is just something basic nothing in the level of his strength or those around me. Yet he looks almost as if I had found the secrets of the world.

"So, he really can do it..."

Mordred seems to find himself in confusion as he turns away with his hand on his head.

He soon stops while he turns back to face me and sits down and talks.

"So kid, mind me asking a question?"

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