20 Mokandilogun

I woke up one day a week later and my head was pounding. The effects of being kidnapped were not lost on my body, even though I technically wasn't here against my will anymore. Between the homesickness, anxiety, and stress I had begun to get constant migraines and threw up at least thrice a week, not including dry heaving. I was so sick that when I made the mistake of thinking about what I was doing while talking to Ximenes, I ended up emptying my guts into the nearest trash can.

He assumed I had "cheated" on him and gotten pregnant, then proceeded to beat me like a dog. At the time I had sent Ade out against his will and promised I'd be fine, but after throwing up my head was pounding, my body ached and the room was beginning to spin. When X started hitting me, for once I couldn't do anything. I didn't even really want to do anything. I didn't want to kill myself, so I thought maybe if he killed me I wouldn't be wracked with guilt at the fact that I was leaving my siblings all alone, Ade all alone, the trafficking victims all alone. Yet, sadly as I lay curled on the floor, getting object after object thrown at me and hit upon hit rained upon me, I realized something. I didn't give a fuck about dying anymore, true, but how the fuck would I let myself be killed by an incompetent moron? The next lamp he threw at me crashed on the wall and as shards came raining down I grabbed the biggest one, not caring that it was slicing my hands, and gripped onto it. Just as I was about to throw it at his neck, I stopped. I knew X, sadly. In my time with him I grew to know him more than anyone ever will and more than I'd ever care to tell. He was troubled, deeply. I knew he couldn't hurt me for long before trying to make me forgive him. I knew he thought nobody loved him, except for me, and he was extremely scared to lose that 'love'. So much so that the idea of me loving anything or anyone else made him spiral, but he couldn't spiral for long before he became scared I'd stop 'loving' him altogether. This is how I also knew that the fact that I wasn't fighting back made him guilty, because it made him responsible for his actions, and that meant he couldn't continue for long. I winced as I saw him raise a desk and right on time he dropped it and rushed to me. I heaved again when he touched me and even more when he lifted me into his lap. He touched my face, feeling how feverish I was, and began to coo.

"Aw baby, you're just sick, aren't you?"

He was practically petting my face as he spoke, but I didn't respond, trying to keep my eyes from giving away how much hatred I beared for him.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I was too busy throwing up...

"Are you okay? Why won't you answer me?"

At that point I broke character and gave him the harshest glare I've ever given in my life. He slapped me then rubbed my reddened cheek and continued talking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I didn't mean it. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Answer me! Answer me. Why are you ignoring me?" He yelled in my face, he seemed to be on the verge of tears. But I didn't care. Finally, I broke. I elbowed him in the stomach, then the forehead and yanked up his sleves. He froze. I revealed the ceramic I'd been holding this whole time and as his eyes widened I placed the tip deep into his skin and dragged upwards, then downwards, then up again. Upon the pale skin just below his shoulder, there was now a jagged, bloody, N. I finished and threw the ceramic on the floor as I lay right next to it, all my adrenaline was gone and I just wanted to sleep but I couldn't hear my own thoughts over the sound of Xylophone being a big bitch over his arm. Get over it. Just as I began to smile and use his agony to lull myself to sleep, Ade burst into the door, completely ignoring the fact that someone was on the floor 'dying'. He rushed to me and I crawled into his arms.

"Why are you back so soon? Did you get what we needed?" I looked at him, shocked to see the concern in his face. I guessed I looked as bad on the outside as I felt on the inside.

"Have you lost your goddamn mind?"

"What?"

"How are you so calm? What the fuck did he do to you?"

"Nothing much, anyways the records?"

"I never left. I sat in the car for ten minutes before finally deciding to leave then turned back before I got to the traffic light. I had a feeling something was wrong."

"Pussy."

"Really? So you're just going to...you know what?" Ade didn't wait for an explanation before he knocked the shit out of Ximenes and kicked him in the rib a few times then walked back to me. Finally Ximenes' groans ceased. I was cackling because it was lowkey fucking hilarious and X was in so much pain I doubted he'd even remember. "He was making too much goddamn noise. Now come on." Ade whispered.

I put my arm around Ade's shoulder for support, not wanting to be carried, and he completely ignored me and lifted up my legs as he walked into my room. He sat me on the sink counter of my bathroom, patched up my hand and a gash on my forehead, then gave me two advils and some water. After that it was just nagging. Blah blah blah"possible internal damage" blah blah "we can't keep doing this" blah blah "you need to rest and ice your wounds, are you listening to me right now?". I rolled my eyes and jumped down, slightly wincing.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"I have to do damage control."

"Meaning?"

"Okay, so Xylophone saw me throw up, assumed I was pregnant, then beat the dog shit out of me and started throwing shit. So I may have taken a shard of the lamp he threw and carved an N into his arm."

"You should've just done your whole name at that point. How do you even expect to do damage control on that?"

"Simple. I'll think like him." I walked back into X's room before Ade could stop me and shook him awake lightly. I stopped myself from cringing when his eyes opened, because they really were so empty it scared me, and caressed his cheek.

"Baby are you okay?"

"How the fuck would I be okay? You carved my arm like a motherfucking Turkey!"

"No...baby, no. I made you mine."

"W-what?"

"Come, let me patch you up. I realized you were so scared of me becoming someone else's because we belong to each other. So, to make sure you know I'll never be with another man, I branded you."

"...what?"

"You know how they say crazy in my language? Irikuri. Maybe you think I'm crazy, but I'm not, I promise, The only thing I'm crazy about is you, and I know you're crazy about me too. That's why you hit me so much, right? The bruises mean I'm yours! I just returned the favor. Do you like it?" I had to keep myself from laughing as I finished wrapping Ximenes' arm and showed it to him. Blood was seeping through the bandages in the rough shape of an N. He was genuinely confused. "You know I'd never hurt you baby. I love you more than anything. I haven't even tried to escape. Why do you think that is? It's because I want to be with you now, and only you." I forced myself to sit on his lap and hug him because i knew the only thing that worked better to him than stroking his ego was stroking his dick. And since I wasn't about to do that, pretending like I ever would was the next best thing. "Just imagine, when I become legal and we can finally be together, skin to skin, every time I touch you, I'll feel my name. Can you imagine it?" I covered his eyes with my hands, pretending I wanted him to imagine, but really I just didn't want him to see me laugh because I realized the exact moment he fell for it. I got up like had been burned by hot water and walked away from him, hearing him audibly sigh after I got up.

"You need to rest now baby, I'll give you space." As I tried to walk away, thinking I got off scotch free, I was yanked back down.

"Not so fast. You're going to stop fucking playing with me little girl. If I gave a fuck about legality I wouldn't have kidnapped you." I tried to get up again and he pushed me off his lap after forcing me into a kiss. I sped away as fast as I could so he wouldn't see me gag. I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep this up.