9 Mejo

When Ade finished laughing like an idiot, we drove to six flags and did what we usually did. We bickered the whole day. Except this time on rides, with occasional screams in between, and funnel cake. The only flaw was we heard a few old nosy Nigerians (these people never mind their business) chatting about what appropriate couples should look like to their children and gesturing to our lack of PDA. When I heard it, Ade turned to me looking like the world was coming to an end meanwhile I was wondering how they knew we weren't just brother and sister or cousins or some shit.

"Did you hear that?" he asked. I realized they spoke in yoruba so he didn't know if I could understand, and decided to see what he'd say.

"No, I don't speak yoruba. What happened?" I lied

"Liar. Nice try, but you called me ẹtan* among other things yesterday."

" I called you ẹtan because you are one witcho dumb ass."

"You know what? You're right. I'll be better. thank you for bringing it to my attention." he said sweetly.

"You're welcome." I said suspiciously

"Nki, my generous and wonderful hostage, may I please have some of your funnel cake"

"What happened to yours?"

"Obviously I ate mine."

"Fatass." I snorted and tore off the least sugary piece of my funnel cake and shoved it at him. He grinned like he won free coochie and stuffed it in his mouth.

"thank you bestieee" he cooed and patted my head.

"Mmm nope you said I'm not your best friend you not getting no more you concubine. Ion know where your hands been"

"But I bought it!"

"And you also helped your psycho roommate kidnap me. What's your point?"

"You really gonna find a way to bring this up in every convo."

" Are you on crack or cough syrup? Of course I am. Y'all deadass kidnapped me. Stupid."

" I'm the one that's been dealing with your bullshit every damn day. I'm the real victim here"

"Bitch you should be grateful you got to meet me" I laughed and continued eating my funnel cake and rubbing it in Ade's face. Throughout the day I found myself forgetting about Ximenes for a few seconds and for a brief moment I forgot about how much I missed my family. It's funny how I was in one of the worst situations ever but had one of the best days of my life so far. At home I was always doing something, my parents could afford a nanny if they wanted but why do that when they had me. It was either my siblings or school, 24/7. I didn't hang out with 'friends' if not for projects, I never took a day off from school, and our family rarely went on vacation since my parents always worked. I came home after practice or a club meeting, studied or did homework all while watching my three siblings, helping them with homework, making dinner, giving them baths and tucking them into bed at the end of the night. There wasn't time for shit like this. I only laughed regularly around my four year old sister Akua, who couldn't stop being naughty if God herself came down to instruct her to be good. My other siblings could get laughs out of me occasionally, same with Asante, but otherwise I was always the serious one. The responsible one. Thinking about myself now I realized everyone must've thought I had a stick up my ass, but they didn't realize the dedication it took to always be perfect. The perfect sister, daughter, and student. You were either perfect or happy, you couldn't be both. I unknowingly chose perfect. Yet then I realized, I was damaged goods again. I was a fucking kidnapping victim. I'd never be looked at the same again so why bother anymore? Moreover, I wasn't loaded with responsibilities anymore. For once it made sense to only think about me. My escape. My happiness. I used to rarely smile, today I laughed to tears at least twice an hour. Most likely because I was with the most idiotic person on the surface of the earth. I'd never met somebody that made me forget myself when I was with them. I just knew I clicked with Ade on a level I never had with anyone before. Not in a romantic way either, he was just like a part of me I discovered. It bothered me. It was like we became best friends the second we met. He knew me before he knew me. We finished each other's sentences after one day with each other. I was comfortable with him. Too comfortable. It was disconcerting. I tried to make my mind stay mad, but it wasn't working. The worst thing was, my connection to him wasn't shallow. It wasn't because I was attracted to him. I just trusted him naturally, without thinking, against my will even. My mind and body treated him like a partner, and they shouldn't have.

_______________________________________________________

When we finally got home, I was lugging a bear I won for myself (because bobo the fool refused to win it for me), along with my leftover churros and frozen lemonade. I stepped into the house first, with Ade right behind me. I flicked on the light and Xylophone was sitting on the couch looking murderous. I rolled my eyes and began sipping on my lemonade waiting for the bullshit to commence.

"How was the date?" Xerosis inquired. I spit out my lemonade and it sprayed him. I began choking while Bobo was laughing so hard he was clutching his stomach with tears rolling down his face and slapping my back to "assist" me. When I stopped choking and he kept hitting I narrowed my eyes, set down my lemonade, and backhanded him. This made him stop laughing and shove me. I ran back and tried to kick him in midair but he snatched my torso and threw me over his shoulder. I was in the process of strangling him when I heard a click and turned. Xerox was still sitting on the couch, except now he had taken out a gun and cocked it. Are you fucking kidding me?

"Bo why the fuck does this bitch got a gun?"

"Stop calling me that, and don't ask me, ask the bitch with the gun."

"Are you done with your little lovers quarrel?"X-ray asked. This brought Ade into another bout of idiotic laughter.

"Fucking moron. Bobo I swear to god if you don't shut the fuck up I'll slap the black out of you."

"Aww you have pet names. How cute."

"Oh my god, we aren't together, can you stop the fake jealousy now?" I scoffed

" I don't believe you."

"Really? How sad. Did you know I got a tip that you and Lola met up at a hotel my friend owns two nights ago?" Ade finally contributed to the conversation. My eyebrows rose so far they almost kissed my hairline. Xylol looked nervous now. I didn't really care what Ximenes did, but I was definitely interested in hearing the tea. I rolled my eyes chuckling then looked at bobo smirking and laughed harder.

"Ade was with a girl last night! He's deceiving you." Xebec attempted to counter.

"He was with me last night, he got a clone now?"

" So you admit you're fucking?" Xylobe cursed

"I was with her watching a movie, not fucking, dumbass. Some of us have the range to do things other than fucking and annoying people."

"I thought you were sick, how'd you go to the amusement park?"

"We got better." Ade replied.

"You're saying we now?" Xysts still looked pressed.

"That's what people typically say in the English language when they're referring to them and an additional person." Ade said incredulously.

"You know what Ade ,I'll see you tomorrow, I need to speak to my wife in private."

"Your what?" Ade and I yelled in unison as he stalked towards me. I clutched on to bobo's sleeve for a brief second and let go like I was burned before I was snatched and carried away kicking and screaming. I locked eyes with him and he yelled to me.

"Wo labẹ awọn ibusun, a yoo ko jẹ ki i ṣe ipalara fun ọ"

Look under the bed, I won't let him hurt you.

He thought the fear in my eyes was from X, but it was from something different. I clutched to him. Why did I trust him? I feared my increasing dependence on him would lead to someone getting hurt.

And I knew it would probably be me.