It's Clobbering Time!

As I gazed upon the assortment of costumed 'villainesses' robbing a bank below I came to the startling revelation that all the people who criticize Batman are right. Super Villains rise up to oppose Super Heroes. They don't exist naturally in a vacuum.

The proof is right below me in the domino masked forms of my new rogues: the Slutty Maid, the Slutty Nurse, the Slutty Police Officer, the Slutty Firefighter, the Slutty Referee, and the Slutty Nun. They were robbing the place with baseball bats and were seemingly oblivious to the sound of the alarms going off.

I gently floated down to the street and pushed open the tall glass door to the gold and beige heavy lobby.

"Oh no, it's Mark!" shouted the Slutty Police Officer as she threw her bat on the ground, "Our villainous plan is foiled!"

Try sounding less excited, everyone might start thinking that this was all some elaborate booty call.

The others members of the newly formed Metropolis Sluts threw down their weapons and rushed over to drop on their knees, clinging to my legs.

"Oh Mark, we throw ourselves on the mercy of your justice!" they wailed as they ran their fingers over my super suit, licking it occasionally with flushed faces.

The bank employees and customers looked far more uncomfortable than inconvenienced by this dastardly robbery.

"Don't worry citizens." I assured them all, "There's nothing to fear, for I am here. I'll have these villainesses out of your hair promptly and will show them the error of their ways."

I gave them all my most sincere smile and lifted the Metropolis Sluts into the air via telekinesis, bringing them back to the headquarters of Operation: Justice Fuck and divesting them all of their clothing as I tossed them on the enormous Bed of Justice.

"Oh Mark, show us bad girls the light!" one called out and the others worked some variation of it.

This was the third time I had to work my magic on these ladies… this week, and the gang seemed to grow each time. Truly a vexatious problem these stubborn career criminals. I took in a deep breath and on the exhale growled low, "The things I do for justice."

Then I dove into the pile of busty sluts while my Symbiote unsheathed my body.

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"How did you even find us?" Robin asked while icing his black eye under his domino mask.

The other members of the team performed similar triage around the spacious living room in the heart of Mount Justice. Across from Robin lounged a teenager in purple and sunset Aloha themed robes with a shaved head and a simple look to his face.

"I could smell the war my dad's been cooking up." the boy answered while lazily picking his ear with his pinky finger, "So I came over and needed something cool to do while we wait for it. You guys looked like you were doing neat stuff so I came to introduce myself."

"You haven't even done that!" Kid Flash managed to say through swollen lips.

"Not my fault that you guys attacked me the moment I stepped through the portal." the weird looking monk shrugged, "Anyway, I'm Daniel. Master of the Mystic Arts, Great Lover of Women, Well Rounded Badass, Great Lover of Women, and Prince of the Neo Viltrumite Empire. It's nice to meet all of you."

"Did you say Prince?" Artemis perked up from her former slouch hugging her ribs.

"I am legally obligated to tell you that the title just means I am one generation descended from Grand Emperor Mark and that my own children will not be Princes or Princesses of the Empire. But enough about that stuff. How bout you and I get some drinks and do some dancing when we get some free time?" the formerly lazy face sharpened as the passion in his tone rose.

"I'm too young to drink." the blonde girl in green spandex blurted out.

"Too young to drink?" the monk's head cocked in concern, "But you are obviously a woman flowered, what right does anyone have to deny you spirits? What manner of ass backwards world have I come too?"

"One where drinking too young causes damage to learning and memory functions in the human brain." Robin answered for the team, causing the monk to cross his arms over his chest and clench his jaw in contemplation.

"Feels bad, man." he sighed and looked up with a piteous glint in his eye, "I am sorry that I recommended an activity that would be so damaging for your health, girl. Is dancing bad for you people too?"

"Dancing is good." The girl piped up again and Daniel's face split in a wide smile.

"Wonderful, then I will make it up to you with many hours of rigorous dancing followed by a night of rawkus lovemaking." the monk stood up from the couch and grabbed the girl's hands, "Are you free now? I'm free."

Before the young woman could respond Daniel's face resumed a thinking deeply expression, "Please tell me that you people can at least have promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind expanding drugs in a consequence free environment."

The resounding no's from across the room caused the bald teenager to frown.

"What bleakest hell have I come too?" he asked softly.

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"Emergence of new super villainesses is up eight hundred percent." Lex Luthor announced smugly to the assembled members of The Light, "And I seem to remember someone screaming about who Priority Alpha taking superheroism seriously would leave us all in some… less than desirable states."

"The capacity for new villains to rise up to counter new heroes has once more aided us in balancing a difficult situation." Vandal Savage's gravelly tone once again pushed aside the desires of any other to speak over him, "These whores may have no utility to The Light beyond what they accomplish on their backs, but keeping Priority Alpha occupied is far and away a greater service than even the likes of Deathstroke and Deadshot could achieve."

"I find that our Priorities are out of order." Luthor menaced as he gripped his fists tightly as he spoke into his camera, "Beta has organized the corruption in DC to the point that the State can rob it's constituents blind, keep them distracted, and appear competent at the same time. At this point anything she wants passes and anything she doesn't is quashed in the House of Representatives. The only thing keeping America fertile ground is just how bought and paid for the President is. We've had more than enough time to completely turn all Executive Branch to our side and stuffed the judiciary to the gills, but those branches at least need to pay lip service to the Legislature. A Legislature she owns."

"The strategic dysfunction of the USA will be maintained through the media and tech companies. The people will say what we tell them to say and think what we have taught them to think. There is no past, there is no future. Only the present as dictated by The Light." Vandal dismissed the man's concerns, "L-6, update the council on the progress of Project: Venom."

"We can speak for ourselves." Declared a hulking black mass that stood behind the pink brain case robot.

A wide mouth full of jagged fangs created a disturbing grin under a pair of large white eye spots.

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For those who forgot Daniel is the it's clobbering time boy from the Infinity War chapter. He's seventeen now as he fought Thano's army as a small child. I wanted to bring him back for a while now and him being Mark's sidekick on 'The Team' seemed like the easiest place to produce endless jokes.

Also Mark has become the victim of his own greatness as he now has a growing stable of 'rogues' keeping him busy. If only he spent more time thinking of the consequences of Operation: Justice Fuck and less time coming up with the name.

And lastly, Venom. Fuck yeah!

You can support me and my family at

ko - fi . com / jmanm