1 Silence is death

Mike Dodds never expected things to go this far, or to go this wrong so fast, for the situation to devolve this rapidly and to spiral out of his fingers, he had never expected that Dominick Carisi Jr "Call me Sonny" would stand up and volunteer to do the hostage negotiations against Munson. Carisi had always had been smitten with the older Sargent and he had tried so hard to keep his feelings for Mike, the son of the Police Chief William Dodds, under control. He knew that if he confessed or tried to open up about his feelings, how would he ever know what the older man would react, much less how would the police chief, he was scared that if he confessed, Mike would hate him forever. 

Sonny had always been a bisexual man since he was young and was attracted towards men and women, but he had been leaning towards men as of lately and he liked how handsome Barba and Miked looked and how they shot smiles and glances, the touches they would keep his hopes going for a brief moment before the hope would fade away. Sonny was like the sun, his smiles and his energy would often give Mike hope that there was good out there in the world and that someday, truth and goodness would prevail over evil. Barba felt warm inside everytime he interacted with Sonny and he would feel that somehow, his work and his duties would bring meaning to the senseless and chaotic world that he was witnessing dissolve into fragments. 

Mike was not naive about the dangers of being a cop, he had seen many soliders as a Army Ranger die before their time, he watched many of them come home in boxes. He was all too familiar with the concept of death since he was a young man, he has been to too many military and cop funerals and comforted many widows, widowers and parents as well as bereaved children of the deceased. He never imagined one day he would need that comfort for himself as well. 

Barba, too was also familiar with the dangers of being a cop, it was already inherently dangerous being a lawyer in his profession and he was made familiar with the intensity of how dangerous it could be to be a officer of the court when he was mailed death threats during the Herodito case and it honestly terrorized him to the very core to realize that this was the job that would kill him someday, and it made him very sick to his core and to think that Sonny could ever die, that was something that was unthinkable. He always thought that Sonny would overcome any situation that life threw at him.

Sonny was a man of courage and whenever life threw obstacles at him, he was sure to overcome any obstacle with a smile on his face, he was sure he could make a difference in life, helping other people and making their life a little bit better and easier to live. Sonny had always wanted to become a priest as a kid, just like his two cousins and to help others, but he wanted to do more than just preach, he wanted to do, he wanted to see and to feel and to be with them and to make a greater impact than mere speeches.

Sonny was caring and was gentle, he never wished anybody ill, not even the worst of the worst in society, he always saw the good in everyone despite how awful they might have been in the past. Sonny hoped that Gary Munson would listen to him and obey his commands, he hoped that there was a sliver of goodness in that man's heart that would allow him to do what was right for once and stop hurting other people and to turn himself in. Munson had no intention of obeying the young man's commands and Sonny pleaded, for several long hours as Mike wrung his hands in anxiety, wishing he had taken over, as guilt pooled in his gut for sending off someone to their potential death. William Dodds, the police chief comforted him saying 

"Don't worry, if there is anybody that can talk down a captor, it's Detective Carisi, I have all the faith in the world with him, he will do what he needs to do. Everything will be okay. I promise."

Sonny meanwhile had to try and wrestle the gun from the man's hand, but Munson's grip was like iron, and he refused to let go of the gun and pulled the trigger on accident, the bullet traveled through Sonny's upper thigh and lower shin and he fired another bullet into Sonny's stomach as Ed fell to his knees, screaming for his son outside. He howled, an anguished scream that tore through his very soul, a primal scream of a parent that knows that their child is in distress, knowing that there is nothing that they can do and he ran inside, tackling Munson and punching him in the face with all the anger that burst out like a bomb inside his very chest and cried out when he saw the blood puddling around Sonny and held him before sobbing loudly as he cradled his son to his chest, holding pressure to Sonny's chest as the ever expanding red stain of blood reminded him that his son was slipping away from his fingers forever as he wailed "SONNY NO!"

Ed could feel the warm blood stain his own white dress shirt as he trembled and grabbed his radio and said 

"10-13! Officer Down! Shots fired! I need a bus in here!"

He never imagined that he would ever have to call an officer down code for his own son, his only son that he had and now he hated Benson, he hated her SO much, he was determined to make her pay, he was determined to make her never see another day as a NYPD captain again if his own son died. He pressed down on the gunshot wounds as hard as he could, the red, ink-like blood staining his own hands as tears blurred his vision, his hands were shaking as he screamed and screamed until his throat was raw and his lungs couldn't operate anymore, it was as if he was in a rudimentary form of a panic attack as the medics took over for him and he watched in terror and anxiety as Sonny moaned in pain and he moved his legs up and down as the medics carefully put him into the stretcher and then wheeled him into the ambulance, Ed could only see Sonny's bare feet as Sonny gave him a thumbs up and he smiled tearfully