Screenshot

I was scared of my phone. I couldn't open it. The only thing that was going round in my mind was "You're such a whore". I couldn't shake it off. I mean how could I? How can anyone?

I came out of the room. I was hungry. I needed power. I needed God with me.

"How was class?" Mom asked me from the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah good." I hope she never knows about anything about everything that happened.

"Are you tired? You should take a nap." She wasn't looking at me but somehow maybe she saw I was feeling worn out

"No ma. I have studies to finish." I really did have lots of tasks to finish. I hate school.

"You can sleep for one or two hours. I'll wake you up. Don't worry." She never really looked out for me much but I guess I was happy.

"Yeah, okay." I was glad I could sleep but then also what if I can't sleep again?

I came to my room. My phone was in silent mode. I didn't even care to look at it. I knew it'll be like a nightmare but how worse? I didn't know.

I slept for an hour and a half I think. I woke up by my own. I don't know why but I just did. Maybe my mind was gonna show me something scary and my brain woke me up?

I laughed thinking how stupid I sound. Maybe I should get checked by a psychiatrist.

I got up and washed my face. It's chilly kinda. Was it raining? I thought, yeah the clouds can feel my sorrow too.

I had some maths homework. I only had English extra classes and my mom was a maths teacher so whenever I had any problem that I didn't know I'd ask my ma.

But then comes physics and chemistry. Yeah I love chemistry, I also don't know why. But I never really understood physics or how that works. That subject is stupid.

I was doing maths and mom came in. She was talking to someone in her phone. I heard it because I wasn't allowed to close the door the whole day.

"Samantha I was wondering if you need a tutor for physics and chemistry?" I don't know if I need any.

"Well I can understand the problems in school. I don't know. You say if our expenses holds up or not." I wouldn't say we are like dramatically poor or rich. We're okay.

But I always wanted to study abroad so I didn't want to get tutors with extra expenses. But don't know what she thinks.

"Okay. Remember your cousin Maria, Sadie and Matthew had this one tutor they liked? What about him?"

"I don't know ma. Do whatever you want I'm okay with everything."

I really didn't understand what's the point of having a tutor when I was doing great? Can't understand her.

It was midnight when I closed my books and just laid down. I still didn't want to open my phone. It's, stupid thoughts were coming to my mind.

But I needed to be prepared for tomorrow. I don't know how or what'll happen. I'm scared.

And as I connected my phone to the wi-fi, thousands of messages popped up. It was from our group chat and Miles sent me some screenshots.

I was shocked to see him sending me texts after what happened. I didn't go to the group chat. I went to his texts. I wondered what he'd send me.

I saw some screenshots. Yeah, I knew what this was about.

//Screenshot//

Nick: Yeah I always knew Samantha was a slut. She just goes around hurting people.

Seraph: Yeah. She runs around with her big ass boobs jumping.

Nick: I always knew. Samantha is just like a prostitute who runs to anyone who'll give her pleasure.

Seraph: Yeah. We told Miles not to get involved with her. I mean her past is just absurd.

Nick: Yeah.

Seraph: Have you seen porn?

Nick: Hell no. Why would I? When I look at Samantha I get erected.

//Screenshot//

Oh wow. Okay. Okay. I couldn't hold it in. I was gritting my teeth together. So this is what it's about. Hah! I should've known.

I swiped on to the next one.

//Screenshot//

Alena: So Miles literally decided to have a relationship with Samantha?

Nick: I know right! His choice. I'm so disgusted.

Alena: Yeah, she's such a whore and tries to take the limelight and pretends to be innocent always.

Nick: Yeah, if she was my girlfriend I would've taught her a lesson.

Alena: Haha, you should've.

//Screenshot//

Oh, wow. Wow. I just started crying without understanding anything. I wish I could just remove my existence from the world.

I thought how bad could it be.

Miles: See how they think about you. I didn't say anything to you because I thought you'd be upset. Now what's the point?

Yeah, yeah Miles what was the point? I broke up with you. You could've left it quietly.

Me: So what was the point of sending me these?

Miles: Well I wanted you to see you're not the polite and quiet girl everyone thinks.

Me: Yeah thank you. I knew that already.

I blocked him out. I was like, over the top, feeling overwhelmed about everything. It's like, the world was never with me.

I went into the group chat.

Lara: Oh here she is, the drama queen of the whole middle school!

Nick: Hey guys let's not be mean.

Yeah, don't be mean to me when you don't know anything and especially you Nick. You're disgusting, I thought.

Talia: She's scared to say anything.

Mia: *laughing sticker*

Hmm, okay I guess I'll leave. I don't even need to see what's going on anymore. It's clear. Yeah clear.

I threw the phone on the bed. I'm tired. Tired of this bullshit. It's fucking stupid how no one's with me. Like literally no one.

Yeah, God wasn't on my side too. Because when you'll get trampled for something, God will never be with you but be with the one who trampled you.