I'm Free

I woke up, I think after 2-3 hours. I'm alive, that's the first thing that ran in my mind. Why am I alive, I thought. What did I do wrong?

I sat up, I didn't feel dizzy, nauseous or anything. I was fine like nothing happened. But it was still hurting and the memory of him on top of me is still fresh. Like it happened right now.

My mom came over. She sat on the bed and asked me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded. I was okay, like I wasn't supposed to but I'm okay.

"Do you want to eat something?" She asked because I didn't have anything for lunch.

"Yeah, what do you have?" I didn't know what happened to my body but I was famished. I needed food.

Mom left the room and brought some sandwiches. I thought, life, I should've been dead by now but I'm alive, alive and healthy.

But as soon as I took the first bite, I felt sick, sick from the inside. I ran to the washroom and I started throwing up.

Well I'm alive but not healthy I guess. Mom ran over, she said, "Should I come over? Put your hair up?"

I waved her not to come. I thought wait, did something happened to my body, like, because of, because I was raped? But then I thought nah, it's maybe reaction of the medicines I took.

She asked Sara to bring a glass of water. I drank, after throwing up the one bite I took and well some weird things, I don't know.

I came and sat down on the bed. Mom asked me, "Are you okay? Really? Do you want to go to the doctor's?"

"Yeah ma, I'm okay. I don't need to go to the doctor's." I said, reassuring her but she kept on insisting that we should go to the doctor's.

So I changed up, when I pulled out my shirt, I looked at myself in the mirror. I thought thank god there isn't any hickeys or anything. I looked at myself and I was ashamed I guess. Yeah. Ashamed. Then I put on another shirt and went out.

We went to the doctor's. I thought the doctor wouldn't know if I had overdosed or not. I was kinda like sure he wouldn't know but then I didn't know what to say.

Well, it was like an usual checkup, blood pressure and pulse. But he also gave me a blood test. I don't know what was that for because I didn't ask.

Well we went home. Tho my blood pressure was low, like really low. It was around 80/50 I guess.

So my mom said, "You should have some eggs and milk. You're not concerned about your health Samantha."

"Okay mom, I understand. But you see I can't handle heavy foods right now."

She sighed, like a really heavy sigh. So I had tablets for gastric and for being nauseous.

I slept early. I thought, would I have any nightmares because I never have any nightmares no matter how much scary movies I watch. I thought. I should just sleep.

Miles : Haha. What are you saying?

I saw him. He was over me. I was trying to push him away. But he was kissing me and his hands was all around my body. I was murmuring,

"Miles let go. It's getting off limit."

"Oh come on. We're getting started." He said.

And I just knew it was so wrong but I couldn't do anything. As he pulled my shirt up and grabbed me by my breast. I was shocked. As he kept on going, his breathe was faster and I was losing my grasp over the things that was happening. I was losing my sight.

I jumped up from sleep.What was that? It was a nightmare. I thought I'd be okay. But guess not. I woke up and sat on my bed.

Tears was dripping from my face. My heart was pounding so hard. I took a deep breath. I was really, really sleepy though. It was like, I'll get unconscious. I fell asleep, at a weird position.

I woke up in the morning to see no one was at hone. It was late though. I didn't take any breakfast. I thought of everything that happened. And he texted me.

Miles: I am coming by your house.

I thought not again, not again. I'm not ready for this.

Me : No, Miles, you don't dare.

Miles : I'm coming in half an hour.

I just sat there. Maybe contemplating my life decisions. Well if he's coming. I should break up with him. I don't have enough energy to think or do anything.

But I was scared, he's coming over, I'm sacred that he might do something to me again. I'm scared. I don't want anything to happen. God, help me.

It was like after 45 minutes, there was a knock in the door. I could just not open the door and let him be like this. I sat there, on my bed and kept on listening to the knocks. Then he called out my name.

I ran to the door. I didn't want to cause any drama for the neighbors. So I opened the door, hurriedly. He pushed me aside and came in to my room.

"Why did it took so long?" He asked, he's angry. But at this point I don't even care.

"I was in the washroom." I lied, well this is the better option that seemed in my mind.

"Why are you here Miles?" I asked, calmly though I was bursting with rage and hatred.

"Oh, you know about yesterday. I'm sorry. I was kinda out of control." He said with a smile, with a fucking smile on his face. Yeah, he seems happy, really happy.

"Oh yeah?" I just blurted out this words.

"You know Samantha, boys can't control themselves sometimes." He put his hand on my shoulder and smiled like nothing happened.

I thought, I've had enough I think. Enough of this bullshit.

"Miles, let's breakup." I said, I was happy inside that I could tell this, to his face.

"What the fuck Samantha! I said I'm sorry!" Well he got angry in a second. I swear to god, his mood swings are worse than period mood swings.

"Yeah, let's breakup. We're over. I'm done with you."

"Samantha, please, don't say this."

"Miles, listen, what you did was not acceptable. I'm done with this fucking relationship." I shouted but calmly.

"Okay listen, when you did the same thing with Aiden, did I breakup with you? NO, so why are you breaking up with me now?"

Again, again with the Aiden shit, I mean what he did and what I did isn't the same. It'll never be the same.

"Well you didn't breakup with me, that's your fault. Don't blame it on me!" I was shocked at my own words. Did I really said that, I thought.

"Fine! Yeah let's breakup. But well, you fainted yesterday you know! I have beautiful pictures of your beautiful body." He smiled at me.

So the last thing he'll say is this huh? He'll threatened me? Okay I thought, what'll happen more.

"Okay fine. Now get the fuck out of my house." I calmly shouted.

"Yeah, you'll remember this Samantha."

Yeah, I'll always remember what you did. I'll always remember that I got raped by my boyfriend.

He left, after threatening me, he left like nothing happened. I sat there thinking the summer break will be over after two days. What'll I say to them? What'll people say about me? I don't know actually. I don't know anything.

But I'm glad I broke up, it feels like I'm free.