Friends

It was morning. Did I have any nightmares? I don't know, I don't know if I even slept a blink. I was awake, scared of nightmares and him.

I got up at 7. Got changed and turned to the mirror to do my hair. It's messy. Well I'm messy. It looks like my eyes are puffy. Hah. I thought. What's the point of everything anymore.

My mind's filled with everything that happened. Can I not think about it? For a second? I hate myself for this.

I went to school. How will I face everyone? What if they know? Will he tell them? What if he does? I was scared to death.

"Well it's getting boring." I could hear Stephen talking.

"What?" Ray said.

"School." Stephan replied.

I thought, well my high school life wasn't bad. We still have one more year tho. But everything that happened for the past few months was over. I'm glad. But scared.

**Laughs**

Hearing them talk made me feel okay. And I thought maybe I'm safe. I thought maybe he didn't tell anyone.

As I entered the class. Stephen shouted, "Sam you early today?"

They aren't my best friends but they're just like a good bunch of classmates. Ray too.

"Yeah. Why is there any problem?" I tried to be sarcastic but it didn't seem right when I said.

"Nah. Why would I have problems! I don't even like you." Stephen said laughing like his life doesn't have any worries.

I just rolled my eyes on what he said. Ray laughed.

Everyone came into the class eventually. Lara sat beside me as our seat plan was. Nobody asked me anything. Did Miles not tell them about our breakup?

Class as usually started. It was going okay. But my mind drifted to the place where I don't wanna be.

The classes were all boring. Biology, English and economics. It was lunch after that.

I was sitting on the chair until Miles showed up like nothing happened.

"Why didn't you come out?" He spoke as quietly as he could be.

But I shouted, "Really?"

"No baby. Just wanted to check on you."

"......" I was so shocked that I just stared at his face. For nothing. He's a douche bag. He's, he's a monster.

He just looked at me until I shouted again, "Miles, I clearly broke up with you before two days."

He was angry, he didn't expect me to say it like this in front of everyone. He slammed on my desk and walked away.

Everyone was there to show the drama. But not my friends or you know "so called" friends.

I saw him walk out and they were standing in front of the class. He walked away and talked with Lara. I knew just by the way they spoke.

Lara was looking at me from time to time, to see how my reaction is to all this. Does she know?

I was just sitting there. I didn't walk up to them. What to say? I'm just, tired.

Lara walked up to me. I knew what she was gonna say, why did you break up with him. "Why did you breakup with him?"

I knew it. I mean, what else she'd say.

I said, what I thought would be best, "I lost feelings for him, I don't love him anymore."

That's the reason I decided to say. I hoped she wouldn't ask me anything. But she said something. "He loves you so much, he meets up with you gives you time. Even when you have so many guy best friends he still stays with you."

I thought, what the fuck! I was just stunned. I clenched my fists and teeth. I was at the burst of crying out and shouting.

Loves me? Or my body? Gives me time or a excuse to have my body? I have many guy friends? She's delusional. She doesn't know anything.

She kept on going. " He even forgave tour mistakes. How can you just lose feelings for someone like that?"

I was, I wanted to just slap her on the face. I didn't. I stayed there, on my chair. "I just lost feelings alright? I can't be with him anymore."

She slammed her hands on my desk, I laughed, inside. How both of them did the same thing. But she said, "You're unbelievable Samantha."

And I knew, they aren't my friends. They never were. I don't even know what they're after.

My eyes were tearing up. Everyone saw that. I just out of frustration kicked the table.

Ray came up to me and sat in front of my table. "You okay Sam?"

I thought am I? I don't know. I smiled and said, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay."

He sighed, "You know,-"

I thought maybe he'd also say I shouldn't have broken up.

"- I'm glad that you broke up with him."

I looked at him. And I cried. I didn't expect someone to say that to me.

Stephen was sitting beside my chair and said, "We all are, don't worry. We're with you."

I thought, why didn't I ever think about it. About them, as my best friend, as my friends.

Then I thought, I've never talked to them, for more than once or twice. I remember how I first started talking with Miles.

It was in middle school. He was really crazy about that one girl. He was in a different class. Sometimes I went to their class and he'd shout all over the class how he liked her.

It was funny to see him like that.

I smiled at both of them. I wish I could hug them. I was happy to see them with me when my best friends left me. With nothing.

"Thank you, thank you Ray." I smiled at him.

Stephen looked at me and said, "What about me? I also said we're with you."

I laughed at him, "Thank you Stephen. Thank you. I mean it."

I saw people staring at me. Some was smiling and nodding and some was like, not even looking at me.

I thought, there are many people who's with me. I'm glad. I'm glad. But then it hit me, what if he uploads or leaks everything?

What if everyone knows? Will they be with me? Like this? Will they leave me to bear all alone?

I came back to reality by the bell. Everyone came back to their seats. I didn't even bother to talk with Lara. But I acknowledged more people around me.

Behind us was Ruby and Anika. And in front of us sat Rachel and Fiona. Ruby is a great student also Rachel. Fiona didn't talk with me but Anika did. She was a great girl. I had fun with them.

When classes end everyone went ahead. I went to the washroom to clean up. Lara, Talia and Mia came.

Mia spoke up, "Samantha I liked Miles but because Miles liked you I have up on him. Now you're breaking up with him?"

I thought, not this shit. "Listen Mia, I'm not in the mood to talk about Miles. You can have him now."

I was gonna walk out but Lara stopped me. "Listen, he's not ready for any relationship. He's really sad and heartbroken."

I wanted to push Lara away but I didn't. I thought, it's enough. I've had enough.

"Please let me go Lara and I don't even want to know how he's doing!"

Lara shouted at me, "You're here being happy with your new friends but he's really hurt! How can you do that to him?"

I lost control over my brain and mouth. I shouted, "You guys fucking don't know anything so just let me go."

Talia said when I was walking away, "If you walk out now we won't be friends anymore."

I thought do I need to say anything? I'm glad, I'm glad they won't be my friends anymore. I just smiled and walked away.

As I was walking away I saw him, standing with Nick. I walked past him, not stopping and talking. I was happy.

I went to the front of the school and saw Ray, Stephen and Nate standing. I went up to them and asked, "Wanna walk to home?"

I was happy with them, I was glad at least there are people who actually thought I did the right thing. I was glad.