7 it is almost a date

Hey guys i just want to say if you are sensitive self harm this please skip the first paragraph that is the only paragraph in this chapter with self harm with this topic but i do not suggest to skip the whole chapter because it is pretty important to the story. But with that have a good day remember to eat and drink water and remember you are an amazing person.

Karabelle

I felt better physically but mentally nothing not happy nor sad nor angry it hurt but yet was so numb i didn't want to be here anymore i just wanted to be gone. The thoughts of ending it all hanging myself jumping all the possible ideas ran through my head as i began to cut. As drops of blood dripped down my arm i felt guilty for the fact that dead person probably wants to live way more than me and im so selfish i don't even want to live i just want to die. Its funny they say your brain is not meant to die. You can't possibly comprehend what death is you cant image your self not existing all the thoughts run through my head regret hits me i should  stop harming myself but i guess im too weak. People are probably dealing with way worse im just so selfish.

I rolled out of bed and hurried to school i dont wanna be late.

Finally lunch arrived i don't eat lunch but i usually hang out out side near the field and draw. Its seems like in these moments like every things fine just a break from this crazy world my music blasting and my hand drawing. I found myself drawing lyla. My hand glided across the paper.

I felt a presences around me "that's amazing" i jump up at the sight to see lyla standing there. This is so embarrassing i was just drawing her i hid my head in my face in my book my cheeks felt boiling hot. "Aww your so adorable". She said. "Umm i mean your reaction was adorable." She said as red as a tomato she look kinda nervous it made me smile i felt happy like actually happy i haven't felt that in along time. " so any ways" she said "so i was wondering if you kinda wanted to go to this carnival with me i had accidentally brought two tickets instead of one and i thought you are a nice person". I nodded my head yes in excitement i have never been to one i always wanted to go to one." Its tomorrow we will head there after school ok" i nodded my head. I sat closer to her she leaned her head on my shoulder at first i was frighten but then leaned my head on hers too. She talk to me and i drew she said things that i didn't need to respond to which i loved. I felt Alive i haven't felt like this in a long time. I never realized how beautiful she is i mean i always thought she was beautiful but the more i looked at her the prettier she got.

I went to work to today time passed by the rest of the day passed by pretty fast.

Lyla

I kinda ask her out but kinda didn't it ugh im such a failure but at least i get to go with her. I mean its way better than not going with her at all.

Finally home at last im still kinda mad at my parents so i didn't greet them i just ran up stairs. I did my homework because i kinda want to pass the grade and then my mother called me down for dinner.

I slowly walk down the stairs and sat at the table. It was quiet and awkward. "Im going some where with my friend tomorrow after school im probably not going to be back till late". I said " just a friend" my mom said " yeah mom just a friend" i said "boy or girl" my dad said. "Girl"  "don't do anything gay". He said  "why does that matter I bet if I like boys you wouldn't say something so rude " i said annoyed  "it not rude I just don't want my daughter to be a fucking dyke" he said. "Glad to know that my dad so fucking supportive of me"  "bill stop bulling our daughter". "Oh I'm the bully now" he  cried."I'm tired of treating this little phase of yours like it is normal when it's not it's disgusting". "Honey you may not agree with our daughter but you will not dehumanize her" . "Am I in the wrong?" My dad yelled."you know what you are, don't ever think again about treating our daughter like that again I understand I may have my moments were I don't understand but I have never and will never cross the line that you have crossed."

The morning was calm and quiet. I got ready for the day when I wanted to look a little good to day maybe im doing this to impress her but maybe im not we will never know. I walked down stairs i found my parents not eating breakfast together they don't ussually do this but I didn't really care i said bye to my mom only then left.

I entered the school and was greeted by my "friends" and one of my only real friends Ryan he is one of the few people who aren't fake . "Hey lyla we are going to the movie theater after school you coming". " sorry i have plans"." Pleaseee come on we havent gone in so long". "Sorry I already asked them and i already got the tickets."I said. "Wait wait wait who is this person is this a date tell me everything". "Ugh can I do anything without you having to know every detail." Hey that's. What friend's are for now tell me." "Fine basically I had a crush on this person so I was going to ask them out as a date but then i chickened out and ask to go as like a friends." I said shamefully "wow you suck at asking people out ". He laughed ."so who are they" he said. "I gotta keep some things a secret from you" i giggled. "No fair"."if you can guess the right person by the time school ends i will let you know."

"Deal" he shouted as we entered class. He kept on pointing at random boys which i always nodded my head no to.

He is hopeless he is never gonna guess her. He is only picking boys

Finally it was lunch time. " im beginning to think this person doesn't extist". He whined " They certainly extist they just are someone you would won't expect". " i probably guessed every boy in this school. "

"But you haven't guessed them think of some one you would never guess or don't even know or haven't talk to." "Your so annoying just tell me."

"How about that girl coming from outside". I look at the girl and it was karabelle I didnt think he would ever guess a girl and he guessed karabelle i put my head titling down and mumbled

"Yeah". With my voice very shaky i said "i understand if you find me disgusting or weird or maybe you don't want to be friends but please don't tell any one my parents would kill me".

He look at me shocked " why would I not want to be your friend just because you like a girl second dont worry " "really"i said

"What am i some kind of monster?"  We both laughed."so what do you like about her."

"She diferent from most people is cute. She really shy and introverted and she is amazing artist she was drawing and it was amazing like how is some one that cute" . " wow sounds like you really like her" "well i hope your date goes well". "I wish it was a date". I said.

Lunch had ended i walk to my next classes excited to go with karabelle. Finally last period came and after what felt a thousand years school ended. I skipped to the parking lot to see karabelle . she looked really pretty. When I reached her she passed me the hoodie i had gave to her."keep it i have thousands at home". I said as i put the hoodie on her. Her face got red she is so freaking adorable.we entered the car and Half way through the car ride she fell asleep she look so cute i dont think i have seen anything more beatuiful but i dont want to be creepy also i dont want to crash so i stop staring. We finally made it and i felt so guilty but i had to wake her up. "Hey karabelle wake up we are hear"i said lightly She jumped alittle which made me laugh. "Come one sleepy head we are here". She smiled and jumped out the car she look like a little ball of sun shine she did  an little happy dance which I never in a million years thought  I would ever see her do but she look adorable so I had to join in. We went in the tent I brought sodas and popcorn for us and we went to our seats. Lights flashed performaners can up and were in glittery costumes everything shined I look over at her she look like adorable she look like she was going to explode of excitement. Suddenly she hug me. Obviously I hugged her back I felt to so happy. Soon the show ended and we were walking to the car."Karabelle it's pretty late you wanna just crash at my place". She nodded her head yes. Why does she have to be so cute it's not fair. She fell asleep in the car again I didn't want to wake her so I carried her inside every one was asleep i think so I went up to my room and I change her in one of my hoodies to sleep in and put her on the bed . She look so adorable . I was About to get up from sitting on my bed to go to the couch but then a hand grab me. And hugged me it was Karabelle she was probably still in a state of sleep she had her arms wrapped around me. There I was cuddling with my crush. Oh nothing could ruin this or so I thought....

Aaah cliff hangers no one likes them but yet us writers do it your welcome .