chapter 1

My feet and arms are strapped into the chair, they hold my head back.

"watch!." They command me to open my eyes.

"Do you see that." They force me to watch the clip in front of me.

"A boy was made for a girl, not the opposite way." The doctors say as the hold my eye open, I just want to close my eyes, I can't stand it no more.

The food they serve here is horrible, it's under cooked every time, what did I do to deserve this, I hate myself.

The sun never comes out in this place, it's a black and white world with no grey in between days.

My body is tired of being intoxicated, is this what my life was bound to be like.

"Alice don't run, let them help you." This is all how it started, they made me believe something was wrong with me.

If only I had ran that day, would things have been different.

months ago.

"I'll miss you." I give my girl another kiss before she gets out of my car. She is my world, I never want to let her go.

"Where did you go," My mother asks.

"I was around mum." I walk over to my room.

"I can't with you anymore." She shouts as I slam the door behind me. Well I can not with you too.

"When am with you, everything stops," I tell sammy. Her body on mine, it's just us that beautiful golden smile takes me away. Mine.

"I love you." Those words take my beat out of my heart, it stops then it starts again beating. The feeling of love.

I place my lips on hers, her soft skin on mine, she is my delicate flower. I'll protect at all costs even if I lose my sanity.

Love can drive you crazy, and am crazy for her.

"would you marry me one day?"

"I would, even right now."

"I love you." I kiss her forehead as she falls asleep by my side.

*|*|*|*

"Hey blue, it's time for your medicine." They wake me up from my dreams. They hold me down for the second time today.

The Chuck of pills go down my throat, the door closes am left on the small bed, my body like a dead fish floating on the surface.

I would rather be in my imaginations, remembering the day I felt alive. I close my eyes slowly the memories come flashing in, like it was just yesterday.

Her-:

I still remember the day I saw her, they had just moved into the neighborhood, lucky was I for she would have been my lover.

"Stop looking at the neighbors, come help out downstairs." my older sister gets out of the room.

She spots my image glancing at her, she waves my way, am shy.

I get off the widow frame and head downstairs to my family.

"Cut the onions." My mother commands my sister as I get into the kitchen.

"finally, your down." My mother walks over to me and places her arms around me.

"You should learn to be more like your younger sister," she tells mercy.

"yeah right, moms delicate bird was busy spying on the neighbors," she starts cutting the onions.

"No I wasn't." I object.

"Yes you were!"

"No, don't remember any of such happening." I look away.

"Enough you two." My mother is between our two feuds.

"We'll go over and greet the neighbors, once they are settled in." mother announces. Can't wait to see her.

We prepare our food in peace, mum does some for the neighbors.

"Hurry up dear, we have to go welcome the new neighbors." I quickly get dressed.

"I'll be out in a second." I shout.

We're at their front door, only me my mother and mercy. I lost my father years back when I was 6, my mother has never seen anyone else since him.

"Welcome, please come inside." A woman's voice greets us.

They're a few boxes that haven't been unpacked, the girl from earlier grabs the dishes from my mother's hands.

She's even more beautiful, with her messy hair and big shirt. Her eyes open a door to my soul.

"We were just about to have dinner, you came just in time."

Her mother is chattering with my mother as we walk to there dinning room.

"Sorry for the mess." Her mother apologizes.

"It's okay."

We dig in to the food. I don't speak through out the whole dinner.

"You should get to know each other." Our mothers suggest. Mercy is in the other room with Sam's brother, Mike.

They leave us on alone in the dinning room.

"Hey, what's your name, am Samantha. You can call me Sam or Sammy, which ever you prefer." her tone is friendly.

"Am alice, just Alice," I tell her.

"I saw you earlier, didn't I."

"Sorry about that, didn't mean to intrude." Why am I apologising!!

"Don't worry about it," she assures me. Relief.

"Good night." We tell the neighbors as we walk back home, my mother and sister so excited. All I can think of is how her lips taste like.