Inner riot

I was playing and laughing along with my friends and suddenly a day came where i was prisoned ,the day when my parents came up with an alliance.I had my own dreams and imagined my own life but everything broke suddenly and i cried i don't wanted to get married but everyone said " what can a girl do more and the guy is so good who wont get better match if u dont agree this one" I agreed as i had no other choice and from the city went to far away deserted village where there is hardly any greenery which i adored in my moms place. All the time i was made to cook for 50 people and i dint know anything about cooking until then and standing in the kitchen whole day, sweating all the time. My husband used to work in other place so he goes off early mornings and comes only at evening's.He would hardly talk to me or give me any emotional support. I was all alone internally but acted so hard that i was happy but cried as loud as i could inside.Education would only help me so i tried hard and studied as much as i can.In this period i became a pregnant and had severe blood vomiting's and pain but still i managed to write my exams and finished my studies. Soon after i started accepting my life i was blessed with a girl child after an year , i was worried what she can learn in this small village and even should she also live a life like me.I begged my husband to move to a city where we have better schools for our child and then we moved to a city. Everything was going fine but my heart dint feel fine.Days went by and no sparkle came. For my kids better future we had to put her in hostel and i lived my next years in darkness i felt lonely all the time. I was thinking " Daddy you wanted me to live a life like this ,how did u think this will make me happy and this is the best for me" .Emotionally there was no one around me to support me , then i searched ways to put an end to this and finally found mediation as a blessing that transformed my life. I wanted to make a difference and the day came where i was successfully changing many life's. But i had my own struggles as no one in my home accepted my passion or my dream i was a single soldier i had to fight even to come out of my house .But finally i took the lead to coach many lives from my past experiences and how i overcome the darkest hour of my life to the brighter side. Still i am a fighter internally.There is no freedom to my soul even after getting married or being educated or being a mother. when will i get the freedom which the creator has given to me?