6 Your god is kind

After the lovely and colorful greetings, the rowdy bunch settled down and stopped causing issues. They didn't show the best manners, and they also said I could keep the bear cub as the big man was scared silly by it.

I have no idea why he's scared of such a cutie pie, but hey, if they'll let me keep it, then that's what ye Bois gonna do. I'll raise it to be a perfect steed, capable of slaying thousands.

The food wasn't as bad as you would expect, unfortunately, the only problem was the eight pairs of eyes watching my every move. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought they were fattening me up to eat me later.

"Mr.Swan," came the calm-sounding voice of doc, perched at the head of the table with me opposing him at the other end, a battle of wits about to commence.

"Mr.Doc," I replied without being bothered to stop eating, already asserting dominance over him and the other sheep.

"I think it's about time we talk about the incident that occurred the other day" What? Racking my supreme mind, even I, a god, came up empty—a point in his court.

"What are ye chatting, mate? ye boi ain't done shit." I replied elegantly, so much so it seemed some at the table were envious as eye twitches, and gritted teeth could be seen. I regained control.

"I'm referring to your... fishing trip where you killed a man" now I know he's chatting bull. Ye boi could only remember fishing and making a weird-sounding campfire, nothing else.

"IT WAS THE CAMPFIRE!" ah, here it goes again, lass. Can't ye go to anger management or something? What's with her today? She ain't usually this angry. Wait, it can't be.

Waiting a bit for the doc to calm the lass who's having her time of the month. I... jeez, why is all she riled up again, y'all should treat guests with more care.

"Moving on, as Edythe said, we were referring to the man you burnt alive," Doc said after spending a few minutes calming the lass.

"What about him?" I asked; even my supreme intellect couldn't see where this was heading. He's a formidable opponent, for sure.

"Why did you kill him?" damn, doc seemed to age 50 years right here. What's up with everyone I spoke to recently? They all seem prone to anger or stress, must be something in the water.

"Dinny kill him, lad, happened to walk into ma bullet he did." I think I'm doing a great job here. I feel like a political mastermind, I can maneuver through their lies and deceit all day.

"Fuck it!" yelled big man "do you know what we are." you mean other than rude hosts? Yeah, obviously, ye boi knows y'all a bunch of cold corpses.

The emos jump out of their seat and tell the rest of the fam things like, 'He knows' and 'can I kill him yet?' we all know who the second one was.

"How do you know about us?" Barbie spoke for the first time, looking ready to attack in but a moment, as if that would do anything, ye boi could gank all these fools.

"Well, ye all look like cold corpses. Thus, ma giga brain put two and two together, and bam, got ye" I mean, it was surprisingly easy to get them to admit it.

****

Sliding through the door of fathers abode, I spotted both dad and bells waiting for me on the sofa. Looks like they wanted to have a chat.

"Ahoy," I greeted the pair, Hm? Why ain't they looking at me, tracing their eyes to the new addition to the household, they seem to like the bear cub I've got.

"What is that?" asked a distraught and confused father, don't worry, pops, I got some meat to feed it.

"'That' is Sir Ottoman Consuelo kravios the third, or SOCK for short," I said as I presented him to my father. Sock puffed up his chest in pride.

"Haaaa, I won't even bother," sighed dad. If he was so tired, he shouldn't have stayed up for me. This king can take care of himself.

"How was the dinner" asked my rude sister. She looked like she wanted to get close but was scared of Sock. Silly thing, Sock doesn't bite.

"Meh was a bit bland, could have used more salt." I had graced Doc's wife with my criticism of the food after dinner, she didn't seem very happy with it.

"Not that actual food! I mean, what did you talk about?" I mean, most of my conversations were about cold corpses and campfires. Ain't very interesting.

"Campfires and ded Bois," I said being completely honest but the look of doubt both of them had told of their lack of faith in me, hmph, guess this is over then.

Heading to my room, I quickly changed into something more comfortable before hopping onto the bed with Sock to get some good sleep.

****

(Edythe POV)

Why, father, why. Inviting that crazy bastard to dinner is stupid; there was no way this would end well, 'Oh, Edythe dear, could you invite the man who refers to burning people as campfires to dinner?'

Like, what the actual fuck? I get we need to chat with him and whatnot but can't we please not do it inside our home? Shaking my head, I watch as the mental patient boarded the bus.

'Good, I had thought some of these flies would be foolish enough to stake a claim to my holy land.' See, dad! this is the crazy fuck you're trying to invite for dinner.

'it would appear Mr. Doc has informed them of my fishing trip. Ha, jokes on them. I'm strapped with enough C4 to blow this bus to Kingdom come.'

What. The. Fuck. Ed and I shoot out of our seats. This isn't good; we won't have enough time to save everyone hell. We might not even have enough time for ourselves.

Shooting Ed a panicked look, I saw the fear in his eyes. Alice and Jasper are only a few seats away from him, meaning if he does blow, they will be caught in it.

'Why would I bring C4 on a school trip, silly kids, I left that in my secret base with my napalm.' I'm going to kill him. He's a danger to everyone around him, and he needs to be put down.

'Tut tut tut, such worrywarts.' This won't go well.

****

Watching Bob walk away after being invited for dinner, I couldn't help but be flustered, I hated that being around him and getting called cute would give me butterflies in my stomach.

I don't see this ending positive for me.

****

Dinner time is almost here, and the whole family is gathered in the living room, awaiting his arrival. I had dressed up slightly as this was the first time we had a guest in a while, no other reason, don't look at me like that Ed.

****

'Emo boy and girl both being depressed n stuff in the corner.'

"Oi!" I yelled at him. I dressed up specifically for him... I mean, I uh... a compliment wouldn't be too bad, not that I need it or anything.

"I would give up on that thought," Said Ed as I was too distracted with my thoughts. Was he speaking to Bob or me?

Hearing him insult Ed yet again, I couldn't help but get annoyed, I had tried to look good tonight, but all he's done was demean all of us.

"Can you stop insulting us to our faces?" I asked him, maybe if we asked nicely, he would stop.

'Silly emo girl, please don't assume that it's my fault that you're some perverted Weirdo who finds enjoyment in breaking into my holy mind.'

I'm not a pervert! I would turn my ability off if I could. I know it's more of a curse than a gift, one that I wish to live without.

"ye boi brought y'all a small gift," he might not be so bad.

Watching him pull out a baby bear, I couldn't help but release an exasperated sigh. You couldn't expect the mentally ill to get a gift that makes sense. At least it's cute.

Watching the rest of my family stare dumbly at him, I hate to admit it's funny, though Emmett's look of fear reminds me of his past.

'Silly kids don't even know basic manners.' we are all at least five times older than you. Who are you calling a kid?

"Where did you get that?" -Dad

"Why do you have it?" -Emmett

"What else should I have expected?" -Me

'They acted like they had never gotten a gift before...'

"We've gotten gifts," I said. We've just never had someone bring such a weird one before.

'Said the pervert' I swear if he calls me that one more time.

"Stop calling me that," I said, still trying to be nice, but that was quickly thrown out the window. Rage boils my venom as he repeats it.

*Whoosh*

"Ooo feisty," the bastard said as I lunged for his throat, I had to be restrained by Dad and a few others.

'Why is she looking at me with so much hate?'

"IT'S BECAUSE I HATE YOU!"

"Let me at him!" I yelled in a blind rage while the others told him to stop thinking, I agree he should stop thinking, and the only way to do that is if he's dead.

****

(Bob POV)

Apparently, father dearest had a problem with me bringing Sock to school, something about 'I can't bring a dangerous animal with me, and it shouldn't even be at home. I think he's just jealous. I might like Sock more than him.

Thus I had to leave sock to guard the house while I was away, don't worry, lil sock. Daddy will be home shortly!

School once again passed like a stubborn old lady across the road, so slow it makes you want to hit something. Luckily lunch rolled around, or else one of these flies was about to be swatted.

****

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be" oi emo prick, stop flirting in the salad bar some people actually want to eat today, seems he got the message as he and Bella moved out the way.

Even ye boi has to eat healthy sometimes. Looking around the cafeteria for a throne to seat me, I noticed a few, but they each had flies buzzing around.

"Bob, come sit with us" sister gave me a sympathetic look. Did she perchance assume I was lonely?

"I shall grace you with my presence" I would tarnish my immaculate reputation if I shunned my own sister, at least in public.

"Guys, this is my brother Bob" she introduced me to her minions.

"Hello," said the jealous one. Wait... once again, my description has failed me. Each of these flies is a jealous bastard.

"Bob, Jess asked you a question" My sister broke me from my musings.

"What does thee need?" I asked the thot. I had once heard mingling with the peasants would lead to a bright king but I have yet to see the benefits.

"Is it true you went to the Cullen's house?" the wench asked. Word seems to travel fast in this desolate town if even these unpopular kids know this soon.

"I did partake in some lunch with the Pale ones," I answered while inspecting the rest of the group. They looked Kinda bland and depressing. Why is sis hanging out with these fools?

"You want to come to the beach with us?" asked my sister. She's being awfully kind after I came back from dinner. It's almost like she wants something... That thot! I shudder when I realize even I'm not safe.

****

Looking at the rapid ocean waves beat at the rocks, I started to question why we came in such lousy weather. Sis said I wasn't allowed to bring Sock with us.

"Bella!" shouted a shirtless muscle head, two others following close behind, "Ah bob, your here too," he said in a timid and awkward manner.

I remember him now. He's the weird kid who's had a crush on my sister since day one. I recall treating him as a pet dog as a kid; good times, good times.

"Sup, doggo," I said. His two friends flinch and look at me in shock; they look like I just revealed a major secret or something, silly muscle heads.

"Doggo?" questioned the group.

"Wel..."

"It's nothing," doggo cut me off before I could explain. I have a strange feeling this might turn into a big misunderstanding. Oh well, ain't my problem.

****

Righto ma Bois n lasses tis me again here to lay down the tru tru, imma be going out Sunday night but y'all still get the chap, but imma go through a bottle of vodka.

This means Tuesday's chap might be weirder than normal as imma be drunk/hungover.

Also, ye Bois has been looking at games on the Halloween sale. Ye got any recommendations?

Give me reviews and stones, or else!

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