5 Chapter 5 (The Proposal part. III)

We left, quietly. My emotions and my actions are changing too much, anger and resentment are completely taking over me. How can I avoid it?

I'm behaving like a bandit, without a heart. It really wasn't like that, I don't know what's wrong with me; I act on impulse.

While she was talking to myself, she hadn't realized that Adrean was in front of me.

—Jessabelle— Adrean says as he places his hands on my face.

I look at him, quiet. I can't find the words to say ... to answer ...

—They could stay in the castle if they like. You are welcome— says Alexandre as he sees me with a smile.

—I'll take Jessabelle to her inn, with her permission— and she bows.

We leave there, she takes me by the hand. Guides me, I'm still lost in my thoughts.

When I get to the inn I sit on the edge of the bed. Adrean sits on the small brown sofa to my right, and he watches me.

—How could you have committed such an outrage, Jessabelle?— And he runs a hand through her pretty hair.

—I don't know— Tears welled up in my eyes.

—I still don't understand, you looked like a bloodthirsty demon— Did you do something wrong?

—Of course not.

—So what's the matter with you?— And she stands up.

—I do not know.

—Tell me, WHAT IS WRONG TO YOU ?!

—WHAT I DON'T KNOW, I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW!—I start to cry.

Adrean sees me and walks over. He hugs me.

—I'm sorry, I shouldn't have talked to you that way. But I really want to know what's wrong with you, so I can help you. I love you—and he kisses my forehead.

—I love you too— and she hugged him.

We lay down on the bed hugging each other. As my eyes closed, Adrean played with my hair.

At dawn, still Adrean is hugging me. (He smiled)

—You are truly fascinating and intoxicating— I say as I stroke his face.

(Awake)

—You don't know how many years I've longed to see her just awake. Sleeping with you, and being able to caress your face— and smile.

—You look even more beautiful, from this angle— and she stroked him.

—You are the queen of my heart— we laugh.

—You make me very happy, my beloved Adrean— and she kissed him.

He responds to my kiss, and he takes me lustfully. We part, and we gaze at each other.

We have breakfast, he takes me to know new places. We have fun, while we are eating we watch the sunset.

—The ship will set sail in 2 days— I say as I sip the wine.

—I know— he says as he watches the sunset.

A silence invades us around us, as if everything stops ...

—I was thinking about ... he stops abruptly.

—What are you thinking? She asked as he watched her closely.

—I'd like to go back, but ... and he stops.

—I do not understand what you mean.

—Look, I really don't want to say anything about this. No… I don't think that's right — and he takes my hand.

—Okay— and he touched her cheek.

—I love you too Jessabelle, you don't know how many nights I've dreamed of this moment. To meet again, to be united again— he contemplates me.

We are silent, we just listen to our breathing. Holding hands, watching the sun go down, fearing that this moment is over, fearing that it will be like before, without each other.

Loneliness will take over our hearts again. That feeling of being incomplete will return, I have my mind ... afraid of not being able to bear it again, I can't take it anymore, why don't we go far? Why don't we end this? I just want to be with him. I don't want to be without him again, why does it have to be like this?

Inside I'm devastated, lost again. I will return to that little town, where I will have to face everyone, hide my feelings and come back to reality. The reality of not being able to be with Adrean, of being tied to loneliness. (Sigh)

—I'm afraid, Adrean, I don't want to go back. I don't want to be alone again. I need you— my eyes fill with tears.

—I know, but don't be afraid. You will see that soon we will be together, and nothing and no one will be able to separate us— she wipes my tears and smiles.

—I'll miss you too much, I don't want this moment to end. I don't want to— and she hugged him, I start to cry.

Adrean responds to the hug.

—I don't want this moment to end either, my beloved Jessabelle— and he hugs me tightly.

These last few days have been and will be the best of my life, but it will also be the saddest farewell. We are now on the dock, waiting for a call to set sail. I take Adrean's hand tightly. We look at each other and contemplate.

—THE BOAT SAILS IN 5 MINUTES!

We are facing each other, looking at each other one last time. My eyes fill with tears. Adrean touches my cheek and smiles.

—You don't know how much you make me happy. I will miss you too much, and before you go I want to tell you that I will come for you. Even if it's the last thing I do— he kisses me on the forehead.

—I love you— I say in a cracking voice.

—I love you too, my beloved Jessabelle— he kisses me.

I take my luggage and walk to the ship. I have a mind to look back and run, I don't want to leave, I want to stay next to him.

It's so painful and difficult, to see how a few days before you had in your arms the love of your life, and then lose them for who knows how long. Now, my heart is wrapped in a great melancholy.

I want to look one last time at those pretty blue eyes. I look at him, I can see his sad look, it hurts, but we must face this. Like the most difficult moments we went through years ago, it is time to show the fruits of that pain and be reborn, with love.

The ship arrived sooner than I thought, I arrived earlier than I thought. On the way home, I noticed that that cherry tree is still intact. I am totally amazed.

I am in front of the mansion, my mother and father are waiting for me.

—Oh my dear Jessabelle— my mother says as she gives me a hug.

—Mother— I hug her back.

—Daughter, how was your trip? Tell us how Adrean is?— And she hugs me.

—It was great, and Adrean is in good health. He's fine— and I smile at him.

—Tell us what France is like? We haven't been there for years— and he signals for the luggage to be taken to my room.

—It's total chaos, lots of people everywhere, pushing each other and we laugh.

—Is the food done, come on ... I can tell you missed my seasoning— says my mother as she winks at me. (Smile)

My parents questioned me, they wanted to know everything. However, I am willing to comment on what happened to the misogynist I killed. I hope and Prince Alexandre has not sent anything.

When finished, I ask permission to go to my room. I just want to rest, tomorrow will be a great day I know. They spent the afternoon questioning me.

I find myself combing my hair in front of the large dresser in my room. I can't stop thinking about that night when we were hugging until we fell asleep. It makes me so happy to remember it (smile)

No more sadness, it is time to be happy, it is not worth crying day after day that will not make things change. I will stay with the happy moments, and our future.

Soon it will be the two of us against the world, against reality. We can form our family, and be happy. Thinking about that reassures me even more.

> I'm in a forest, by day ... I can see a silhouette in the distance ... I can't see his face very well, but little by little I can notice his clothes, Alexandre? ... is that Alexandre, "Soon you will be mine", she whispers, I try to run, far away from him. What do you want from me? I wonder as he stumbled. I can feel myself falling into a hole, while I am falling I can see memories of other people. "It's me"

"Who are you?" "We are made for each other" "NOOO!" "JESSABELLE, RESIST!" "GET AWAY FROM ME" "LOOK AT ME", I touch my head with my hands, the sound is too loud. I want to scream but I can't. I can not say anything.

A woman with black hair, pale complexion looks at me.

"Jessabelle, please listen to me. It's you but in the future, I just want to know ... where is Adrean?"

My eyes widen like a plate, I ... in the future. What drunk?

Immediately awake, I am completely sweaty. I'm breathing fast, I stand up abruptly and head to splash water on my face. What did I just dream about?

I am very upset. Whenever I sleep here, I start to dream weird.