14 End of a dream

Bedona floated on the cool surface of Peolei, closer to the bank where the current was not strong. The noise from the cascades muted every other sound around her and she found it oddly comforting. The constant noise cushioned her mind from straying into unpleasant places. She watched the sky turn from grey to blue then grey again. She observed the clouds floating above, in all their shapes drifting in the sky. She thought of home, her friends, her dreams, her work, her failure. She blinked the water from her eyes, she had long lost track of if it was her tears or the water from the river. No thinking she had decided, but her mind seemed to find a way in spite the warnings, even the noise could only help for so long.

This job was to be her ticket to the big league, which she had failed spectacularly. Granted, there were unforeseen circumstances with that monster and everything. But, she really hated it, cursed the rotten Endahar filth that came to ruin her plans. And she hated Rosso for dying to it.

Six months she had put everything she had into that demeaning disguise, strived to be as repulsive as she could be, rubbing herbs on herself to make sure she reeked, wore layers upon layers of rags thick with dirt she'd rather not think about. The scum on her skin, the lice in her hair, the rashes, the boils, and not to mention the things she had to do with her teeth. Although most were magical and nothing was permanent but what she had to endure for the time being was real. She took a deep breath and sighed, exhaling away all the unpleasantness building in her chest. All of that was for nothing in the end.

She had to look ahead now, measure her options, and see what the best choice was. She could always go back to Aristeros empty handed. Bedona was sure she would be forgiven too, for her failure that is. Her Anchor was benevolent, wise but soft, a legend once but just an old man now. She wanted someone younger, whose time was now, and who was making her own legend as she went on. Bedona wanted to work for Pearl, and she wanted to be a part of her legend. With the commendation from this job she was to join Pearl, after a long and uncomfortable talk with Aristeros, he had granted her wish. And now that things went as they did, there was no way she could go back empty handed.

She wondered if it was the right choice to return alone to her tower. Truth be told, Bedona was afraid of the other woman. She couldn't quite shake the feeling of disapproval she felt whenever Ava looked at her. They had a brief talk, Ava had asked her a few questions, and Bedona had tried not to gush as she answered. Ava was one of the oldest and highest ranking liaisons of Pearl, along with Neer and Heishal, but the latter were Pearl's family. From few of the older liaisons she had even heard that Ava was considered for the position of Blue anchor itself but she declined for some reason. 'How could she keep a straight face with someone like that?'

Bedona had briefed Ava on the whole story of her side, which seemed to have satisfied Ava. Thankfully, she didn't ask about Bedona's own assignment, which was good, because it was not something she could freely discuss. Ava was of Pearl's Blue while Bedona was of Aristeros's Gold. And though they were both on Sharak's missions, it was not something they discussed openly with each other, especially with someone from the different towers.

Bedona had sought Ava's permission to leave, she needed a break after months of simulation. Ava had for her safety sent Olean with her. The Younger girl was an anomaly, an outsider. There was no point thinking about where she stood in their hierarchy, not at all. But for some reason the thought of the girl left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth, and left her feeling very small.

She was not looking; too caught up was she in her own thoughts that she didn't pay attention around her. But she was never that much of a blockhead to not notice someone walking up to her while she bathed. The man's gaze was on her, and from what she could tell they had been for some time. Her first instinct was to shout, but soon saw the folly of it. Her second instinct was just to blast him away from where he sat. It would be difficult from this distance but she could manage it, just not with enough force.

The man was still, perched on the rock near where she had left her clothes. She pretended not to see him and went about her swimming. She still wasn't sure how he got there. Although surrounded by thick forest, the bank was wide open with white sand and only handful of dark rocks; nowhere to hide and sneak up on her, precisely why she had chosen that place. It was like he appeared out of thin air.

She dipped underwater and resurfaced afar only to find the man facing her still. She tried it once more and few more times after that, hoping the man's senses were just coincidental. There was no doubt, the man was looking at her and not at all in any emotions she would expect in a situation like this. Whatever the man wanted, her bare body was not it.

She swam toward him. Whatever, she decided, was this man wanting, facing him couldn't be worse than her time in Roqsar. But it seemed the man too wasn't expecting that, as he stood up startled like he'd just been woken seeing her bee-lining in his direction. He wasn't the only one who was surprised however, when she saw him sitting on the rock, she just thought the rock was smaller than what she might've initially believed. But now that she had gone closer and he was standing, she saw that was not the case at all. The man simply was huge. She had to pause just to let that sink in.

She saw him slowly turn, look away from her as she got closer and then leave abruptly. She kept a wary eye on him as she got out of the water. She checked the pile of her things, nothing was stolen so far. The man had stopped moving now, with his back toward her just out of earshot. He really was big, not just tall; broad and big like an ape, she mused. His head looked tiny on his massive shoulders wrapped with layers of dark colored clothing. He was hunched by his own height, with his head dipping forward like it was too heavy to sit straight on him. And from this far, his head was barely visible behind his back. His arms dangled in both sides, half of his rugged hands and fingers were visible from rough sleeves; the perfect image of a massive ape. She took her time as she dried and dressed, with slow and meticulous movements that had he to turn around, he wouldn't be able to look away. But the man didn't.

Bedona sat on the rock the man previously sat on, letting her wet hair down and drying in the now rising sun. She took out her scented bottles of oils and ointments, paints and rouge she had been saving for months. She applied them, one by one on her feet, her hands and her face. She painted her eyes, her lips like she was sitting in her own chamber back home, like the man wasn't standing there for hours for her to finish. It was a game now, to see who would break first and she was quite enjoying the passing time and the diversion.