1 My first time

It's no secret that losing your virginity has to be special, but what your just a horny teen. The first time I saw two people "interacting" was when I passed a car that was swaying back and forth. My curious self went over to look through the window, I saw two adults literally trusting into each other. It's weird, even though they didn't see me, I still felt off, like I shouldn't have seen that. I've been curious ever since. When I entered middle school I had so much research on the topic which is highly weird yes I know but it was so interesting. I started touching myself and seeing what felt good and what didn't. When I entered high school I thought okay now I need the real thing. I didn't want anyone at school to know so I waited. It was April and I had the opportunity to go to Mexico. A couple of days went by and my family had a party. Family and family friends came over to celebrate and drink. At this point I was pretty homesick and just wanted to go back. I went outside to take a breather, when I saw my cousin's s friend sitting on a bench. I asked what was wrong, and he too started feeling homesick, he was there for about a month. We started talking and got pretty close. I remember my heart racing and thinking is this the right time should I wait. We made it to my room making out and tearing our clothes off. He started touching me and asked if I was okay to let him insert it. It took me a sec but I said yeah. Sadly I was to tensed up, he looked at me and said if I would mind letting him try something else out. At this point we made it this far so why not. He grabbed me from my thighs and pulled me against him, he went down and started feeling around. With his hot warm tongue sucking and licking around I started to get really wet. It was an amazing feeling. He stared into my eyes and asked if I was ready, with a nod he inserted his dick and laid on top of me. His breath near my ear got me so horny that couldn't resist moaning. After we finished we got dressed and went back like nothing happened. After that day I never once talked about it. It felt so good and yet I felt dirty. Something about it broke me and ever since then if a person would to ask me if I was a virgin I'd say yes. Of course I'm not but I just want to block it. In my friend group I was always the one who would lose my virginity first and of course it was but I never told them. Each one of them lost there's but they don't know that I did. And for now I'm fine with that. I'm not sure if I'd tell them which is the worst part. It's not like I don't trust them, it's more like I want it blocked from my memories. I loved feeling each inch of him inside of me but another part tells me that I shouldn't. It's weird but if I'm ever in that situation again with a romantic lover of course I'll tell them, I don't know if they'll judge me, but I would want them to know the truth.