14 CHAPTER 14

The night sky is bright but there are no other heavenly bodies in sight. Looking at the moon, I can see its glory and the memories of the past are consuming me in a wrap. The glitches, the audible sounds, the smell, the bitter taste of it are haunting me even more because of Josh, trying to create a path that leads me there.

I remember Rain saying, "I have to be tough.", but I can't. What happened in the past was so traumatic. Whenever I go back, the anxiety it causes me is insufferable.

I placed my fingers on the piano and it soon created a turmoil out of the quiet night.

"Lucy, you are destructing yourself."

I even convinced myself that these people inside my circle have nothing to do with all my problems. That it's all within me, the battles, the conquer and the struggles. That it's about how I manage everything and not about how they relay me their message. I messed things specially with pressure and now, everyone's dragging me as if I was a puppet controlled by them.

"Lucy. Are you awake?", I heard mom calling, knocking my door.

"Yes mom. Just playing the piano."

For the first time after a week straight, mom wasn't drunk nor did she try drinking today. I became relieved somehow.

"You haven't played the piano for a while. I wanna hear it again. Can I go inside?"

Honestly, I'm a mess right now. I mean, I bought myself a whiskey and drank myself until I feel comforted as the alcohol travels through my veins. You'll never know how comforting it is to drink unless you'll try. And I tried, maybe this is the reason why mom's always drinking. But I don't want to trigger her sadness. Not now, I can't handle her if ever she'll drink tonight.

"I guess you needed a time for yourself then. It's alright sweetie. I can still hear you playing in my room.", she said.

"I'm sorry mom."

"It's okay. Please sleep on time."

"Thanks mom. You sleep early too."

After I heard her footsteps leaving, I started playing the piano. My real mom never gave up on me even though I was blind before. She made me play the piano, taught me how to play it. Throughout the years of us being apart, playing the piano has been one of the souvenirs she left me. Playing instantly reminds me of her.

"But I don't want to see you happier with somebody else.", I sang along.

Suddenly, Josh's face registered at my brain while I was playing the piano, singing along with the song.

"Oh, why can't you just be lonely, lo-lonely, lo-lonely?

Why can't you just be lonely, lo-lonely, lo-lonely?

Why can't you just be lonely, lo-lonely, lo-lonely?

I know you need someone too

This just feels so soon.", I keep singing the song, although the lyrics are making my eyes wet out of tears that are slowly building.

I know, there's no other woman between us nor another guy to object and keep us apart. But the song I was playing smashed my heart, hitting me like a flash of lightning, burning my heart into ashes.

As much as I want to keep him, the things he'd done, the disappointments, the lies, the manipulations, they are pulling the trigger against me.

But I don't want him to be with someone else. I don't want to see him staring at someone else the way he looked at me. Suddenly, some evanescent thoughts keeps shuffling on my mind.

"No, I don't have any friends here Lucy.", he said in his low tone.

"Don't be sad. You have me and Rain.", I cheerfully said in response.

His laugh, his giggles, his smiles. An abrupt feeling bothered me, I begin to miss those. I haven't seen his special features and I am missing those. With him, having us as his only friends, I know it hurts him too.

After playing the song, I was about to play another when I heard someone humming again. That sound, I'm completely sure that's the sound that my real mom is making to put me to bed. Is it coming from the second floor again?

I opened the door and looked both side. Mom's room is shut and the lights are all out. But as I look at the other side, I can see a glow lighting the stairs. What's up there?

I walked slowly until I reached the second floor. The door's open. The door where all the loud noises and the humming are coming from is open. It's partly opened and I can see mom. What is she doing here? Did she hear the hum too? Is she here to inspect?

"For four years, you have been persistent to find a way out. You're even making the sounds her mother did before!"

I heard her talking. Who is she with right now? And she knows about what my mom taught me regarding those sounds?

"You have to set me free. I won't bother her. I promise I will distance myself from her.", the man behind the door said.

I keep on hiding behind the walls, leaning on mom's bookshelf.

"And why would I release you? I waited for so long Alex. I waited for so long and I finally had the chance to get rid of that Rebecca of yours. Now that she's out of the picture, we can finally live a new life."

I put all of my weight to the bookshelf when suddenly a book fell on my face. Fortunately, I was able to catch it and it didn't make any sound.

However, about seven or eight books started falling as well. Each one has about 700-800 pages and as soon as it reached the floor, the unending cacophony started disturbing the house. Lucy, you're drunk!

I ran downstairs and went back inside my room. After about two to three minutes, someone knocked and went inside my room. It's mom Kelly.

I covered myself in a blanket before she came. I pretended to be asleep. The room suddenly fell silent. My intuition told me she already left my room so I started unwrapping myself with the blanket.

My eyes went black as I saw her standing, leaning on my piano. She's still here.

"Mom. How long have you been here?", I asked her.

She smiled. This is my funeral. Rain and Josh, you have to remember me as a good pal.

"You're drunk?", she asked.

Shoot! The bottle of whiskey's still there.

"No mom.", I shook my head.

"Okay, you said so. Good night.", she said.

I then saw her picking up her novel on the floor. Did I bring that here? I remember catching that book earlier for it fell straight to my face. Lucy, you screwed up!

My heart's slamming my chest with an inharmonious rhythm. She never gazed back and just closed the door. I hit my face a couple of times for I completely screwed myself.

"Lucy you suck!"

I blamed myself for being caught. I'm too clumsy, even clumsier now that I'm intoxicated with that 8 shot glass of whiskey.

I threw myself in the bed and forced myself to sleep. What else can I do? I'm boozy, tipsy and my head's in a sudden migraine.