"Lucy, are you asleep?", asked mom, trying to knock at my door.
I took a step on the floor and stamped my foot two times. It was a signal for her to enter my room. Throughout the years, while I was growing, mom and I agreed about certain gestures and sounds I should do for her to fully understand me.
"I'm awake mom.", I even mouthed.
I heard the door creaked and even felt a sudden rush of a cold breeze sending goose bumps all over my body.
"Mom's inside honey. I have a surprise to tell your dad. Do you want to know what is it?"
I nodded. I even clapped my hands in excitement. Whatever surprise she's going to tell, I know it'll make dad happy.
I then felt her warm hand touching me, guiding my hand until I felt someone else's skin on my fingertips.
"This is mommy's tummy. Can you feel your baby brother kicking?"
I felt him kicking twice. Am I going to have a brother?
I felt a mix of emotions as I feel him moving inside my mother's womb. I really want to have a sibling. I want someone to play with me. And to that I am excited.
But having this fear, I can't express full happiness with mom's news. What if my brother can't understand my condition and will belittle me as he grow older? What if he will have the same condition as me? Or what if mom and dad will forget about me if he'll be normal? I'm over thinking, I'm really scared about what may happen.
"Your father will be home later. We'll finally get to see him after two months.", she continued.
"I miss him mom."
"I miss him too. I don't think I'll be able to sleep if he will not come."
"We have to trust his words mom. He'll come.", I said before I reached out to her and hugged her.
Then all went black, and I saw myself alone in a caliginous. Where am I?
I heard someone calling. Who's that? I closed my eyes and covered it with my hand after a spotlight lit up my face. I became the limelight in this place full of roses.
Nothing's here in this place than red roses. The smell is familiar. I've smelled that scent all of my life. It's the coconut perfume mom always wear, even if she's at home. When she let go of her hair, you can smell the coconut shampoo she's using, those products are lingering to my nose.
My feet's stepping on all of the roses. It took me some time before I feel the thorns are creating an entrance to my skin. The deeper it goes, the more I twitch in pain.
I never thought I would be this strong in my life, persistent to make a step forward. There's a spot right there, a garden full of blooming flowers, quite different to where I am standing right now. I should go there.
I fell down on my knees, in tears and even felt massive thorns penetrating my knees. Why am I here?
I yelled, trying to convince myself someone will answer. I know mom's around, she's here. I know her voice and those stamps, I keep on hearing it from a distance.
My mom showed up right at the border line of the roses and the blooming daffodils on the other side. She's making those stamps on her feet to make me realize that it's her. For the very first time in my life, I was able to see how she looks like.
She's in a white dress that runs through her knees. I am seeing the green eyes of her as the main highlight on her meek face, probably the meekest face I've ever seen. The two of us have the same eyes. How could it be possible when someone just donated these to me?
She stopped walking and she started touching her baby bump. By the looks of it, I can tell it's about five to six months already.
I called her name, still trying to get out in this garden of thorns. I look at her and saw the blood dripping from her mouth. Blood are gushing out of her stomach, staining her white dress.
"Mom!", she looked at me.
Her eyes are teary, but I got shocked when blood started coming out from her eyes.
"Mom, wait for me. I'm coming."
She is bitterly smiling but the blood coming out of her is unstoppable. I get so worried and scared that I rushed to her no matter how painful it is for me to take a step.
When I reached her, I put a pressure against her stomach and tried to make the bleeding stop. She just leaned on my shoulder, I keep hearing her heavy breathing when suddenly, she let go of a sigh.
I keep calling her name but no one's answering my call. I started breathing heavy in fear that she might slip away from me. The blood is too much to take and I know too much blood loss can cause someone's death.
Tears have found themselves a way to get out from my eyes. I keep calling her and she responded nothing.
"Lucy wake up!"
I felt someone brushed all my tears away as I try to open my eyes.
"Lucy, you're dreaming. I heard you screaming. I was downstairs."
That was just a dream? I hate it when my dreams are so realistic that I'll end up crying of thinking about it for the rest of my sleeping hour.
"Lucy, are you alright now?", it was Josh.
I nodded and let go from his hug. That led him to confusion but I can't talk right now. I get up from the bed and said,
"I should go home now."
"Sure I'll drive you home. Do you happen to see my sticky note here? I'll be posting a letter for my sister. She'll be coming home."
I closed my fist and shook my head.
"Guess I forgot it somewhere. I'll buy a new one then."
I looked away from him and walked away from that room. He even ran after me to give me a coat for it's freezing cold outside.