0.1: Breakdown

A loud, painful ring ached through my head and bright lights; I heard cars honking and people shouting, my eyes opened. In front of me was a bulb with the same amount of brightness, it stung my eyes as I sat up, holding my head — it hurts...

A woman gasped and I heard what I think was my name,"Keiko!! Thank god, your okay!!". The woman hugged tightly as her short black hair covered my view. Hesitantly, I returned the gesture by lightly patting her back. Then, realization hit me... I can't remember anything.

By the looks of this woman's tears and worry in her eyes, its easy to say that I am a very precious person to her... though, by the looks of it, I seem to be in my teenage years. Guessing about 16?

"It's alright, honey. We're in a hospital... and... dad is... your papa is going to be fine! He'll be fine and we can all go through this without -- wit-without any more pain," she added, stuttering, the hug lasted a minute longer before she let got and cupped my cheeks. "Oh... my baby girl, you've endured so much...! Mama and Papa will make it up to you... please.. wait a little longer, my precious daughter." Our foreheads met as she spoke.

So I was the daughter of this loving woman..? How fortunate. Another guess, seems like we were in an accident and my "papa" is healing. Probably in the ER or something.

I hummed in response and nodded, the woman — or "Mama" — sniffled and wiped away her tears as she looked away, sitting back down to the chair beside the hospital bed.

The annoying ring still sounded quietly in the back of my head, enough to be ignored, except for the headache. I laid back down, looking up at the ceiling. Oddly enough (or that I think it's odd), the woman kept a hold of my right hand... can't remember when she grasped it but oh well.

I turned opposite to the woman's gaze. It felt uncomfortable to let a stranger do as they pleased. But I felt guilty, her words before made sense somehow. I felt connected to this woman even though I know nothing of her.

'God, why is life so horrible?' I thought as I used my other arm to cover my eyes.

The door creaked open as a man, who seems to be the doctor in charge, came in. His persona wary and hesitant, "Good evening, Mrs. Hitoshi... I— I need to speak with you, privately..."

The woma— Mama... looked at me first with a gentle yet small smile, before patting my hand and following the doctor. I sighed when they had left me alone in the room, contemplating if I should tell "mama" that I don't know her... maybe that's for the best...—

"WHAT?!! No.. NO NO PLEASE, DOC, YOU CANT BE SERIOUS!!!"

"M-Ma'am,...—" there were more of what he said, however, I couldn't hear them clearly.

'Or maybe not' I continued my thought. I didn't want to add more misery to this poor, caring lady.

After a while, she came back in, close the door shut, slid down to the ground and cried her heart out. What intrigued me was that she didn't gave out a sound, yet the soft sniffling is audible still. Despite the heavy headache, I stood up from the bed, walked over to her, and crouched.

I— "..." no words came out of my mouth when I tried to speak. It was then that I realized my throat was not only mute but sore. Coughing was no option, it would seem that I was an attention seeker, getting "mama's" attention by showing her that I am hurt; how my throat didn't work. When clearly she is in the most pain.

So, instead of "word-for-comfort" method, I'll just... well, physically(?) comfort her? Oh man, I'm a mess at this. No no, get it together, this woman, most likely our mom, is crying. What do you do when someone is—

She sniffles and chuckled before saying, "Haha, sorry... I didn't mean to be emotional..." her voice croaked and cracked as she wiped her tears that stained her cheeks. I opened my arms and hugged her, letting her cry silently.

It broke my heart how hard she tried to keep herself quiet. I pat her head then gently stroke her back as a form of comfort, she held on to me while she cried. I don't know why or how, but I feel like this situation has happened before. Deja Vu?

This woman cried "silently" meaning that she learned to keep all the pain and suffering to herself. She went through a lot yet learned not to open to others. Trust Issues? Most likely. Openly crying in front of me and even hugging my arm like this means that 'I' have comforted her in the past or that she trusted me enough to-- oh who am I kidding. I'm her DAUGHTER. Keep up, Keiko!

...ah... so Keiko IS my name.

I closed my eyes, silence rang aloud in my mind, the headache died down when I focused my attention at the woman's quiet yet audible sniffles.

The headache died down... let's keep it that way.

Time passed, we went back to the hospital bed and the woman gradually stopped, calming down. She helped me switch out my wet clothes and later told me "the devastating news of my father's death".

Somehow, not so surprisingly, I didn't react. The woman hugged me to her chest as her breath hitched.

I stayed expressionless, acting stunned so she won't realize that I do not know. "Let it out... it's okay to cry..." she deeply breathed in and heavily exhaled with a cry. "We.. w-we can get through this, like how your papa would want!" She hugged my head tighter, I looked up from my bangs and observed how heartbroken she was. I held onto her and snuggled.

Whoever "Papa" was, he was a great man... I'm sure of it.

Deep down, I can feel my heart beating slowly and eventually skipping ever so often. My eyes welling up with tears. I didn't understand why nor did I know why I feel like crying, but despite that a teardrop fell. It hurts.... my heart is clutching and it hurt — I clenched a fistful of my t-shirt. As if grasping my heart when it burned.

For hours we stayed like that, until Mama fell asleep and my heart calmed down. My eyes still wide, awake from the situation I've just experienced.

I'm confuse. Very confused... I can't remember anything yet my heart still reacted the way it did. I could still feel the pain.

Slowly and gently, I let Mama rest and lay down on the bed's pillows, she snuggled up and hugged one of the pillows. I left her there and went to sit next to the window.

I opened the curtains to reveal a dimly lit city. It's 4:56 am. Cars and motorcycles still ran on the streets, the atmosphere was quiet and peaceful. I could stay like this forever. Too bad its cold and I can't open the window.

I sighed and went to rummage through the bag that Mama brought; found a jacket and wore it. While the bag Mama brought was big, enough to fit a person, there was another smaller bag that looked like... mine?

The backpack... I went through it and found snacks. Yay? Although, it was weird how I easily familiarized myself to it but pfft- free snacks. That's what's important. I continued to watch the city, enjoying the silence.

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I finished the gem biscuits... now what?

I looked around and saw a small t.v. -- there I spent the next 2 hours watching News and korean drama. 'I should sleep... but then again, I wanna know what happened next.' My eyes squinted as I contemplated, turning from the empty snacks to the television.

Idea! I sorted out the trash pile from the snacks I found in the backpack and put them all away. Swept the crumbs and dusts on the floor, and left to get more snacks in the hospital store or something. They always have those small stores, where they have food/snacks/beverage, installed inside the hospital for any visitors or awaiting guests to buy.

Grab 20% of the Yuans found in the backpack which has around 600 Yuans or so, and went out to buy in that small store downstairs.

Once I stepped out of the room, I found patients going about and doctors/nurses in the like working at 7 in the morning.

Mom and Dad wanted me to become a doctor... if I had to wake up early to work, pass --- ...huh. Another memory... seems like this amnesia won't last long.

'Eh,' shrugging the thought off [because I don't want a headache to form, again.] I continued my journey; the room we were staying in was located in the second floor, and the workers, visitors, patients- people were using the elevators -> If I use it and there's people inside, then most likely they'll talk to me: I hate interactions -> My body is stiff... -> Exercise is good = Two Flights of stairs it is.

After a few minutes and getting bumped on the shoulder for the 5th time by a nurse, I finally reached the ground floor. From here, I could see the entrance/exit of the hospital. More importantly, the small store just so happen to open!!

'Sweet sweet food here I come!' rejoice is clear in my thoughts, but I casually walked towards the lady behind the counter with a small smile. Just when I was about to speak to her, a loud yell came from behind.

"YUI TANAKA!!!!!! HOW DARE YOUUUUUU!!"

I went ahead and bought a sandwich, not minding the noise; as I was about to chomped on the bread a hand grabbed my shoulder and swung me around, facing them.

"Cousin~ How are you?"