63 It's not gay if it is with homies
Anko threw two kunais on the ceiling and hanged the banner behind her and said, "I'm the examiner for the second test. Anko Mitarashi. Now, let's go."
In her mind, she thought, 'Nice. I am definitely not late. I was just a bit sleepy after yesterday.'
Anko had a smug smile on her face before Ibiki said, "You entered at the wrong time."
"*ahem* Ibiki, you left 26 teams? This test is way too easy." Anko replied as she fake coughed.
Naruto, Sasuke, Ino and Hinata just smiled wryly, as they didn't expect her to be the examiner.
"Fine. I'll at least cut them in half in the second test." Anko said making everyone shocked.
"Now follow me. I will explain the rules after we changed places." Anko said as she led the participants to the stage where the second test would take place.
-----
Meanwhile, Akihiko, Kushina, Mikoto, Izumi, Yugao, Pakura and Haku were teaching the three bears how to fight. Ayame was at Ichiraku's, helping her father.
"No, Control your chakra properly, Gurizu. Look at Aisu doing it." Izumi said as she pointed at Aisu Bearu.
"Aisu." Aisu just said as he was currently sticking on the wall with all of his paws.
"Good job Aisu, let's try it another time." Mikoto said as she unstuck Aisu from the wall.
"Panda, you can do it. Just a little more." Yugao encouraged Panda as Panda tried his best to take another step on the wall.
Akihiko, Kushina and Yugao were sitting and watching this while Haku just finished housework since it was Chewsday.
After the three bears finish their chakra control lesson, it was Akihiko, Kushina, Pakura and Haku's turn to teach them how to fight properly and maybe even use ninjutsu.
"Alright, Gurizu, Panda, Aisu, this is called a chakra paper. You just have to send your chakra in here. Although I don't know if it will work." Akihiko said as he showed them how it would work.
"Here. I will explain how the paper works." Akihiko said as he held one paper in his hand and guided the chakra to the paper.
The paper cut itself in four halves, one burned to ashes, another became damp, one crumbled to dust and another wrinkled.
[a/n: I know this is late, but accept this shit. I forgot to add this to the story. No further comments.]
"If you have Wind Affinity, the paper will cut itself in half. If you have Fire Affinity, the paper will burn. If you have Water Affinity, it will become damp. If you have Earth Affinity, the paper will crumble to dust and lastly, if you have Lightning Affinity, the paper will wrinkle. You will most likely get one or two chakra affinities. The chakra affinity that you get will be the strongest but you can still learn other chakra nature jutsus." Akihiko explained.
"But Boss, why did your paper have all the effects?" Gurizu asked as Akihiko nodded.
"Me? I have all the affinities." Akihiko replied.
"But Boss, didn't you say that people most likely have only one or two affinities?" Panda asked.
"Heh, I'm an exception to that." Akihiko said as he smiled.
"Alright, now send your chakra in the paper." Akihiko said as the three all send the chakra to the paws and into the paper.
Aisu obviously had wind and water affinity, which meant that he can use Ice Release if he trained properly.
[a/n: Ice Breath. How cool would it be? A mini bear launching a large ass ice breath.]
Panda had Water Affinity and Earth Affinity and he could use Wood Release if he mastered both of them.
[a/n: It won't be as overpowered as Hashirama's Wood Release. It will be more overpowered.]
Gurizu had Wind Affinity and Fire Affinity. Pakura seeing that shouted,
"I call dips on Gurizu."
Hearing Pakura, Kushina also shouted while smiling.
"I call dips on Panda. He has the same nature as me in Water."
Haku also wanted to teach Aisu and she would have more time to spend with Aisu. Who wouldn't want to spend time with cute, squishy bears?
"Akihiko, can I teach Aisu?"
"What about me?" Akihiko asked back but in his mind, he was thinking, 'Yeah, I already have my hands full with Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. But I should get some benefits.'
"Umm, I will give you one free pass to ask me to do anything." Haku replied.
"No. You are already my maid, why would I need a free pass?"
"I will only do housework and some small works as a maid. I won't accept any other requests. However, with the free pass, you can order me to do anything." Haku replied secretly hoping that Akihiko would do some BDSM play with her.
"How about 3?" Akihiko asked but Haku denied.
"No. Two is the most I can give."
"Good deal. I hope you teach Aisu properly."
"Of course."
Kushina, Pakura and Haku rushed towards the three bears and started teaching them.
On the other hand, Akihiko, Izumi, Mikoto and Yugao were sipping tea while commenting, "Hmm, fine tea indeed."
-----
Near the entrance of the Forest of Death, 78 genins could be seen together with a purple-haired busty lady.
"Welcome to the Stage 44, The Forest of Death." Anko said as she smirked.
"It's scary." A genin exclaimed as Anko looked at him and replied.
"Of course, it's scary dumbass. There's the name "Death" in here."
"Anyways, I have something to pass out." Anko continued as she took out agreement forms.
"You have to sign these agreement forms. There will be deaths in the second round. If not, it will all be my responsibility. I won't help anyone. Not even those who are my family." Anko said as she looked at Naruto and Sasuke.
Naruto and Sasuke nodded in understanding and Pedomaru who had a large hat covering his face just licked his chin with his long-ass tongue, thinking to trick Sasuke into giving his body for Pedomaru's own use.
[a/n: I know how I phrased it. It's weird.]
"Yeah, you can sign it later after I finish explaining it. Ultimately put, the second test is just a survival test. Firstly, I will explain the area. There are 44 gates around Area 44. Forest, River and a Tower are in the middle, 10 km away from the gates. During the test, you will be asked to complete a certain task. Using your weapons and jutsus, you will compete in a no rules scroll battle."
"Scroll?" Someone genin with a large mohawk asked.
"Yes. I have a Heaven Scroll; I have an Earth Scroll." Anko said as she showed each scroll in her hand.
"13 Teams will get the Heaven Scroll and the others will get Earth Scroll. To pass the test you have to reach the tower with both scrolls. However, there is a time limit. You have to arrive at the tower in 72 hours meaning 3 days. There are ways to disqualify a participant.
[a/n: Yes, I shortened it.]
#1. If they do not arrive at the tower with both scrolls in the given time.
#2. If a teammate is killed or lost.
And you can't quit the test in the middle. Another rule, do not check the content of the scroll."
"But what-" A genin tried to interrupt but Anko just glared at him making him shut up.
"Now, you can go and sign the agreement and take a scroll. Also, final words of advice, don't die." Anko said as she dramatically turned around.
'Hehe, this should leave a cool impression of me on everyone.' Anko said as she laughed in her mind.
After that, every team went to their own gate with their personal scroll.
"The Second Test Starts now!"
As soon as Anko announced it, every team entered the Forest of Death.
"Who will keep the scroll?" Sasuke asked as Naruto replied immediately.
"Me!"
"No. You might accidentally forget to bring it after a poop or something." Sasuke replied as Naruto immediately started to refuse the statement.
"Yeah. Sakura, take it. I and Naruto will take care of the attackers. "Sasuke said as he threw the scroll that had "Heaven" on it.
-----
A few hours later, Hinata, Kiba and Shino were now setting up traps on the way to the Tower. Hinata was using her byakugan to see if anyone is coming and Shino was also using his bugs.
Kiba finished setting up the traps and both Hinata and Shino sensed something coming.
A team of genin was looking at them from the top of the tree branches.
"Heh, these kids won't even know what is happening." The genin said as he dashed forward to Hinata who was a girl. He assumed that Hinata was weak while the other two decided to attack Shino and Kiba.
Hinata immediately went into a stance and thought, 'Eight Trigram Palms: 32 Palms.'. There was a circle around Hinata as she still had her byakugan open. The genin was going in a range near Hinata and didn't even know what happened to him. His body was already hit by Hinata as he fell down on the ground. The other two were also in bad condition as they were caught in a trap made by Kiba which had lots and lots of insects in there.
"AHHHHHHHH!" "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The shouts of the genins echoed throughout the forest and everyone heard it.
"Let's search the bodies." Hinata said as she smiled.
"Yeah."
They all searched and found that the scroll the genin team had was the Earth Scroll, the same as them.
"Haah, it is the same scroll as us." Kiba exclaimed as he was about to throw it.
"Wait a minute, let's burn the scroll." Hinata said as Shino nodded.
Shino created a fire and burned the scroll to ashes before they put out the fire.
"Yeah, let's go." Hinata led them throughout the forest.
-----
Ino on the other hand was currently very lucky. They found a genin team who had their guard down. They also saw from the tree branches that the scroll was "Heaven".
They quickly strategized it as Choji was ready to hold Ino as she fell down. Ino transferred herself to the female member of the genin team and she switched bodies.
She stood up and walked towards the two other genins.
"Hey."
"Yeah, what's wrong, Haisha?"
"No, you're a loser, not me." Ino said as she quickly knocked both of them out.
Shikamaru used his Shadow Imitation Jutsu to hold Haisha in place as Ino woke up back in her body.
Then, Choji who felt like he didn't do much just used Body Expansion Jutsu and Human Boulder Jutsu and ran over all the three genins, making them faint from the sheer weight of Choji.
Choji returned back to his original size and brought over the scroll as his tummy made a sound.
"Grrrrrrrrr!"
"Heheh, let's find some food. I'm hungry now." Choji said as he rubbed his tummy.
"Okay." Shikamaru just replied.
----
"Naruto", Sasuke and Sakura were now on their way to the Tower. Sasuke sensed someone following and he also had some suspicions about Naruto.
"Hey Naruto, poopoopeepee." Sasuke said as he thrown some random signs around.
"Naruto" nodded and also turned to Sakura and said, "Poopoopeepee."
Sasuke just smirked as he dashed forward and kicked "Naruto" in the face.
"Where is Naruto?" Sasuke asked as the real Naruto appeared beside them.
"Naruto, where were you?" Sakura asked patiently as Naruto rubbed his head.
"Oh, I got lost."
"How did you even get lost? Forget it. You always get lost. Who knows if you will end up in another continent one day." Sakura said as she also went into a stance.
"Ahh, you got me." The sound ninja who transformed as Naruto was now back in his real form.
"But, what can you do even if you noticed that I am not your teammate?" The sound ninja said as he dashed forward and tried to injure Sasuke with his kunai. Naruto just ignored the rushing ninja and searched around for the ninja's teammates.
Sasuke just dodged as he quickly used handsigns for a Fire Jutsu.
"Fire Style: Mythical Flower Fire no Jutsu."
Sasuke spewed out fire and he unsheathed his katana and dashed towards the ninja who got out of the jutsu with minor injuries.
"Haha, there's an opening." The ninja said as he threw kunais towards Sasuke midair.
Sasuke deflected the kunais with his katana but left one kunai which flew near his leg. He dodged it and while using chakra, he stuck it to his shoe and released it with a kick towards the ninja,.
While the ninja was busy dodging, Sasuke body flickered behind the ninja and slashed the ninja's body, leaving a large cut on the body which had blood spewing out every second.
"Ah! W-what the hell?"
The ninja said as he quickly retreated.
"Ahh, he retreated. Not that I mind though, I had poison on my katana. He won't live for long because people die if they are killed." Sasuke muttered as he went back to Naruto and Sakura.
"Hey, if we get separated again, just use the Instant-Tele-Team-Transportation-One Time Use-Seal." While he gave that instruction, Sasuke wondered how Akihiko even came up with the name.
"Hm, got it."x2
Pedomaru who was listening in from afar just became confused, 'Huh? What the hell is that? During my years of study, I have never heard of that seal.'
But then, there were lots of kunais showering on the place where Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were.
Sasuke and Sakura hid in one close place while Naruto went to another place.
"Sasuke, Sakura, are you alright?" "Naruto" asked as he stood up.
Sasuke just threw a kunai at "Naruto" as he snorted.
"Sasuke, why did you throw the kunai at Naruto?" Sakura asked as she was confused.
"Huh? Can't you smell? The smell that he radiates is not the same as Naruto's." Sasuke replied and Sakura became confused.
'Smell? They smell each other?'
[a/n: It isn't gay if you do it with homies. Remember those wise words.]
"Hohoho, you found out huh? Although, I don't know what the relationship between the two of you is, recognizing that the smell is not the same is really impressive. I have the "Earth" Scroll. If you want it, you will have to win a Life and Death battle with me." Pedomaru said as he deepthroated the Scroll.
Both Sasuke and Sakura deadpanned as they both just replied, "Ok."
"Then, let's-
-----
(End-)
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This is it for today.
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