Walkin On Sunshine, Woah-Oh

Well that was an eventful time. I got to mess with a super spy, twice!, I helped Tony, more than twice!, and Abby got to rub elbows with the big money. So far things were going great.

Abby: "We have guests."

Um, say what?

Abby turned from the stove where she was making an awesome brisket.

Abby: "We have guests coming to the door. And the surrounding area. It may have taken them awhile, but at least they are here."

Ooh, S.H.I.E.L.D finally arrived. Well at least everyone is gone but me and Abby. If Felicia was here we would have had a cluster wreck to deal with.

Heh, I wonder if my favorite spy is here. I do want to tease her some more. It's so much fun to see her crack. Welp, time to open the door.

Me: "Well hello there Director Furry. Agent Coulson. Agent Romanoff. Do come in. Can I get you a drink? The guys and gals out there need a drink?"

Fury: "It's Fury. And no thank you, I already had some tea earlier. I'm sure my agents are good too."

Coulson may have nodded politely, but our dear sweet B.W looked like she was ready to murder me. But why? I thought I was nice enough to her, albeit the teasing.

I just made sure to smile as wide as I could. Only. .That seemed to have made her more angry as she stormed past me. Aww~. Either way, I lead the two to the living room to relax while we wait for Abby.

Me: "So Agent Coulson. I hear you are a huge Cpt. America fan. Did you really collect the entire card set?"

Coulson: "Yes, but how did you know. .?"

Me: "I keep an ear out. But I have a gift for you that I think you'll appreciate."

Now Tony, the every so great pompous that he is, doesn't appreciate the classics. But I do. So when he wasn't looking. I stole Cpt. America's shield. Full vibranium and all. It needs a makeover but it still looks pretty darn awesome. I grabbed it out if my inventory via shadows (which btw, is how I do it all the time now) and while both Coulson and Fury were surprised by that trick, Coulson recovered faster due to his fanaticism. I understand brother. We all have our heroes.

Coulson: "Is. .Is this really it?"

Me: "Yep. Gave it a test to make sure. It's the real deal. And it's yours. Tony won't mind, I think."

I think I found a new brother this day. He took the shield from me and held it so tight that it probably left a few indents in the shield. I noticed Fury was keeping his eye on me. This dude is just as bad as Abby when it comes to plans. I'm sure he already has a few with me in mind.

Abby called for us to come to the dining room. Huh, is B.W hiding behind Abby? Or is she trying to set up when to strike. .nah, she isn't that stupid.

Abby: "Well you might not be thirsty, but I have made dinner so you can join us or not. The choice is yours."

I do believe her brisket won then over because everyone was seated at the table. Or it could have been because Abby called us here. . um, yeah, whatever.

The table was set, everyone had a plate, and only after B.W gave Fury the go ahead did he start to eat. I guess she's the taste tester for poison. Geezum, just what can't that woman do?

My sweet Celestial does this brisket taste amazing! It even got Coulson to cough a little from the heat of the sauce. Soooo~ gooood~.

Abby: "I do hope you enjoy the meal. I have been waiting for you to come visit us, so I was just lucky that today was the day you arrived."

Fury: "I do have to say this is the best brisket I ever had. Where did you get the sauce for this? Don't tell me that it's home made because that would not be fair."

Abby: "Oh it's just a new flavor of barbecue sauce mixed with honey. .and poison."

Yep. It has begun. The forks dropped and clattering on the plates. The shocked look on everyone's face, especially B.W since she was supposed to detect that. And then Coulson pointing his gun at Abby. Sigh, shouldn't do that if you were wise.

Fury: "And what poison would that be, Mrs. Klyntar."

Abby: "Why garlic and onions. Too much can be poisonous to the human body, after all."

B.W: "Goddamit, not her too. ."

I couldn't stop laughing. Holy shnit that was hilarious to me. Coulson still had his gun trained on Abby though. So I snatched it, crumbled it up, and placed the metal ball into his hand all in the matter of a couple seconds.

All while smiling nicely.

So thus far we have been nice, a little joking, and now a power play. I think we covered the bases that we are a strong couple that are not easy to deal with. Though to be honest, only acting this difficult for now.

Fury: "Coulson. .sit down. It seems we got off the wrong foot. So let me be the first to apologize. We may have been a little rude with bringing our staff to surround the building, snd yes, we did overreact to the joke, but we have come peacefully. So if we could please act like civil adults."

Well isn't he just nice. Not even trying for his own power play. Or maybe he doesn't think that will work since they have seen me fight against Hulk. "The Monster" pfft. Okay, maybe B.W insult actually did annoy me somewhat. But that isn't why I keep teasing her.

Abby: "I couldn't agree more. Now, if you want, I can share my sauce recipe with you after we are all done, but let's talk about why you are here."

Since everyone's drink was running empty, I used my buddy 'the tentacle of chompiness' to grab a pitcher of sweet tea to pour into the cups. Water for B.W though. It seems she was creeped out by my tentacle. .

Heh, good.

I could see that Fury and Coulson made a point to completely ignore my antics. Shame, I wanted to see if I could shake them up too. Well I certainly ain't gonna boop them or lick them on the nose, so my options are quite limited.

Fury: "Do you understand what I am telling you? You will be targeted with these stunts your husband and yourself are pulling. People will come after you. My people will be able to provide you the protection that is needed."

Abby: "I do not think I will worry too much on that front, Mr. Fury. Me and my family will be quite alright."

Fury: "I don't think you undersand me. That man cannot protect you all. One day he will gave to choose between you and your kids. Can you really say he would be able to save you from any assault?"

Abby: "You are not listening to me. WE will be quite alright. I do not need anything from S.H.I.E.L.D. Have you even noticed that your coms have gone silent? That no one has responded to Agent Coulson's distress signal on his cuff links. Or that Agent Romanoff's morse code has not reached anyone. Quite simply, you three are in my web."

And that was when she struck. Multiple shadow threads came out and bound the three down. Oh how they struggled. Honestly, I'm more surprised by how my acting is. I'm able to keep up with Abby's pace.

Fury: "Why do this? What is it you want?"

Abby: "Why, what any woman wants. World domination of course. And what better way than to use you. I must say I was planning on using Stark and his lover, Ms. Potts. But instead you arrived. Now I can skip all that pointless drivel and get to the main dish! But what to do with you three, I wonder?"

Me: "Oh, I know! Let them give us the woman. She stays, and they get to leave alive. Well, alive-ish."

Abby: "Oh dear, you always want a new toy. But I agree. If she stays, then you two can leavs here. Maybe even give you enough time to prepare for our attack."

Fury: "No."

Abby: "What was that?"

Fury: "I said no. N.O. I never leave an agent behind, and I refuse to do it now."

Me: "Good answer."

Abby: "It's acceptable I gather. Well that's all we wanted to make sure of. I left the recipe on the fridge for you, Mr. Fury. Agent Coulson, do be careful with that shield and not hurt yourself. .And Agent Romanoff, I am truly sorry for all the harassment you have suffered. Please accept my apologies on behalf of my husband's bad humour."

Pfft, I wanted to do it. Apologize all you want. I'll just find her again. Muwahahahaaha!

Fury: "This. .was all a test?"

Abby: "Well of course. We didn't want to ally ourselves with undesirable mongrels. But we see you actually have a moral code worth having. Loyalty. That's all we search for in our allies, Mr. Fury. .Now get out. Next time, call us instead of ruining our only romantic dinner together!"

Heh, those two guys skedaddled on out of here. B.W didn't budge though. Huh.

Me: "Um, you okay there B.W?"

B.W: "Why?"

Me: "Why what?"

B.W: "Why did you do that to me? I was scared. For the first time in ny life, I was terrified. So why did you do that to me?!"

Sigh. She actually turned on the water works. Guess I'll confess. .

Me: "Because you were just too adorable to not tease."

I patted her on the head and then she just looked up at me. The tears all gone. Fuck me, they were fake tears!

B.W: "Then I know what I needed. Good day to you two. .And Mr. Klyntar. .Thanks for the compliment."

Damn it. I was tricked. .

Me: "Shush it Abby, stop giggling."

Abby: "Oh poor baby. Does my man child have his feelings hurt?"

Me: "You suck."

She straddled me while I was in my chair. Mmmmm, she feels comfy.

Abby: "Why yes. Yes I do."

Oh boy. I know that smile. .