Death of a Salesman

"I'm sorry Mr. Lee, you're fired. Pack up your things and leave."

A tall white man walked blankly in the hallways. He had worked for the company for years. Unfortunately, due to his declining sales and physique he was finally laid off.

He walked into his his office towards his cubby and began packing his stuff. A few coworkers patted him on the back and whispered comforting words. Lee did not even notice them. His face was blank as he picked up his office supplies and crammed them into a cardboard box.

As he finished cleaning the last drawer, he saw something he had not seen in a very long time. Inside a small plastic bag was a bunch of mushrooms. These mushrooms were more than ten years old, a remnant of his younger and wild self. Lee wasn't even sure if they still worked.

He thought for a minute. 'Well I'm fired and I have no money. I may as well...'

He opened the bag, raised it to his mouth and downed all the shrooms within. Soon he began hallucinating. His eyes turned red and he started sweating. Everything was a blur of colors and awesomeness.

He looked down and saw that he was naked. The six pack abs he had twenty years ago had come back. He was tone and tanned. Suddenly he left the office space and a rainbow road formed beneath him. He ran and ran, then suddenly a rocket formed around him and blasted off.

Lee stared out the window and saw the infinite cosmos around him. The rocket was was heading to a massive fucking tree whose branches seem to stretch out into the universe. In the endless distance he seemed to have seen a shining golden light in the form of a man.

The next moment the rocket along with Lee crashed into the tree and for a split second Lee felt an agonizing pain before everything went dark.

In the real world...

"Holy shit what the fuck Lee?!! Have you gone mad?!!"

"Oh my god oh my god!"

"Out! Get out!"

In a hallway on the thirtieth floor a naked man ran threw the building. He was nearly six feet tall and suffered from obesity, easily 300 pounds. His eyes were red, his tongue hung out from the side and shit streamed down his leg. Piss flew in all directions.

"Wheeeeee! I'm in space!!!"

The supervisor had just walked out from his office when the shut stained man crashed into him, running him over.

"Bfnekofnekxonfjtnrmflgishscrv!!!" screamed the supervisor as he began vomiting all over the floor.

Lee ran into the office and into the window, shattering it and sending glass flying everywhere. His body fell thirty stories down head first, killing him almost instantly.

Fortunately or unfortunately for him he did not feel a thing nor did he realize what he had done before his untimely death. At least he went out euphoric.

Unfortunately for the other coworkers, supervisor and witnesses at ten bottom of the skyscraper, they were scarred for life.