Chapter 29: Erotic Dreams About Cabbages?

'Ninety-eight...! Ninety-nine...! One-hundred cabbages defeated! Take that Aqua!'

Naruto cheered as he cut off the wings of his one-hundredth cabbage. He was standing in the middle of the familiar battlefield between the adventurers and the army of cabbages. What a glorious battle it had been, and now he was reliving it in the form of a dream.

How did he know it was a dream? The fact that Aqua's fuming face was distorted in squiggles only a child could draw was a dead giveaway.

But since Naruto knew he was in a dream, he was going to take full advantage of it and continue to make Aqua suffer in the form of killing even more cabbages than her!

'Get back! I'll hold off the enemy!'

As the shinobi continued to slice-and-dice his vegetable foes, he heard a familiar voice and turned to see Darkness standing over a very cartoonish-looking adventurer.

'Oh yeah, this was the part when Darkness was protecting that adventurer from the cabbages... Eh?'

Naruto became slack-jawed when he saw the current state Darkness was in. All her armor was scattered on the ground, and her clothes weren't any better. There were rips and tears all over her form, which revealed a lot of skin.

Needless to say, it made Darkness look very erotic.

While Naruto was struggling to keep his eyes away from the girl's nearly revealed parts, he noticed a giant cabbage making its way towards her blind spot.

'Watch out!'

Naruto ran over to Darkness and tackled her out of the way just as the giant cabbage bulldozed over the area.

The blondes proceeded to roll down a long hill, whilst embracing one another, until they came to a stop in a pile of brightly colored flowers that shot up into the air.

Naruto groaned as his head continued to swirl. This was quite the realistic dream he was having if he could even feel the repercussion of involuntary spinning.

But as his hands mindlessly explored the area around him he felt a sudden sense of relief, so he embraced it and snuggled into what felt like the softest pillows he had ever felt. It smelled good too...

Wait. Pillows didn't smell this good.

Naruto warily opened his eyes and discovered that he was in fact snuggling closely into Darkness's bosom, and even had his arms and legs wrapped around her body like one might hold a pillow in the middle of the night.

'Wah! I'm sorry! It's not what you think! I'm not a pervert that takes advantage of the situation like Kazuma, I swear!'

Naruto yelled and scrambled to stand up, but he stumbled on his own two feet and fell on his butt and held his head down in shame. He didn't even know the girl that much, but now she was going to hate him.

But just as he thought his friendship with Darkness was over before it even started, he heard a soft giggle. He looked back up to see Darkness laughing into her hand, and he couldn't help but blush.

The light, and the brightly colored flowers surrounding them, it all just complimented just how beautiful Darkness looked to him right now.

Her tattered clothing wasn't helping either.

'That's okay, you saved my life. An action like that deserves a reward, does it not?'

...Hang on. Something about this whole scenario was strange.

Why was Darkness pushing him down? Why was she taking her shirt off? Why was she coming closer to him? Where did the cabbages go!?

'Give in to the pleasure... Hnn!?'

Just as Darkness's were just brushing against Naruto's own, she made a sudden yelping sound and her face scrunched up in pain.

'H-huh?'

Naruto felt dizzy as the world around him began to blur into nothing but darkness, and he could hear faint shouting in the distance.

————————————————————

"Take this, devil scum! Purification!"

"Kyah!"

Naruto's eyes shot wide open just in time to see Cecily kick a woman dressed in extremely skimpy clothes out the window. Were those wings on her back?

"Damn Axis Cultist...! I'll be back, Naruto-Sama~! I vow to awaken your true form next time!"

The winged woman declared before flying off into the night, leaving Naruto and Cecily alone in his room.

"Tsk! I was waiting to sneak into your window after you fell asleep, but that bitch beat me to it..."

Cecily muttered and clicked her tongue in disgust.

"You were going to what!?"

Naruto shouted while jumping out of his bed.

"Uh oh~! It seems that Succubus was about to have her way with you. Good thing I showed just in time to save your most important thing."

Cecily said while eyeing Naruto's lower half.

"My wha-AH!?"

Naruto shouted in surprise when he saw that his pajamas, save for his boxers, had been stripped from his body and thrown across the room.

Was that Succubus planning to rape him!?

"I-I guess I should thank you, but why are you even here? Don't tell me you were actually planning on sneaking into my room while I was asleep."

Naruto asked Cecily as he swiftly picked up his pajamas.

"It seems the Axis Cult members in this town have learned of my exploits in Alcanretia. As such, I have been kicked out of the church's living quarters until I make amends."

Cecily said while trying to peek at the shinobi's exposed skin, but he threw his blanket over her face.

'Geez... Even her fellow worshipers turned on her. But I guess this is the Axis Cult we're talking about.'

Naruto thought with a sweatdrop as he shuffled his clothes back on. When his pajamas back on, he recovered his blanket from Cecily and placed it back onto his bed and sat down.

"So I'm guessing you don't have anywhere to go?"

"Yup! If only a kind, handsome young man would offer his savior a place to stay for a night or ten..."

Cecily sat down next to him and scooted her way closer to the whiskered teen, and it took a deftly placed elbow on her ribs to get her to stop.

Naruto sighed tiredly. It wasn't like he could just throw her out, she did save him from a Succubus just now and she was his party member. But she couldn't stay here for obvious reasons...

'Ah, didn't Yunyun get a room in this inn?'

Naruto hadn't see Yunyun since their party had split up for the day, but he knew she had gotten a room at this inn. He just felt he shouldn't bother her until the next day. But this was a party emergency!

"Come with me."

"Oh! How forceful! I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my voluptuous body!"

"Hush you."

Naruto grabbed Cecily's hand and dragged her out of his room and into the hall. If he wasn't mistaken, Yunyun's room was on the same floor. If he spread out his senses to try and find her...

'...Huh? Isn't this right next door?'

Naruto thought when he found himself standing at the room that was right next to his own. He could sense Yunyun's presence behind the door, so there was no mistaking it. What a coincidence for her to have rented the room right next door to him.

"Hey, Yunyun. Are you awake?"

Naruto said in a hushed tone while lightly knocking on the door. He hoped she wasn't awake and heard all the ruckus from his room, it would be a pain if she misunderstood anything.

"What's this? Little Yunyun-Chan lives right next door? You sneaky little devil you..."

Cecily said and Naruto was about to defend himself, but he stopped when he saw that the girl wasn't even looking at him. She was staring at the door with a mischievous smile on her face. Weird.

The sounds of feet shuffling could be heard from within the room, and the door opened moments later with Yunyun poking half her face out.

"O-oh... If it isn't N-Naruto-San and Cecily-San..."

Yunyun stuttered while completely failing to maintain eye contact with the blonde duo.

'She totally heard us...'

Naruto thought while struggling to sustain the awkward smile on his face, all the while Cecily was waving cheerfully. Learn to read the mood, ya damn psycho!

"S-sorry to bother in the middle of the night, but do you think Cecily could stay with you? At least for tonight? She doesn't have anywhere to stay..."

"Sleep over with cute little Yunyun!"

Cecily chimed and ran past Yunyun and into the room without permission.

"Sorry... But it would be weird if she stayed with me, and I don't want to leave my party member on the streets."

Naruto said with a sweatdrop as he and Yunyun watched the older girl jump on Yunyun's bed like some child at a slumber party.

"That's okay... I'm already familiar with Cecily-San's... Quirks."

Yunyun said with a similar expression to Naruto's.

With Cecily's situation settled, Naruto bid them farewell before he walked back to his room.

'Come to think of it, I didn't even bother to ask if she was tired from their trip... And now I just forced that crazy priestess on her. I'm a horrible party member...'

Naruto thought as he climbed back into his bed for what he hoped was the last time that night. At this rate, he was gonna have to prostrate in front of the mage and beg for forgiveness. He was definitely going to have to make it up to Yunyun now. But the question was... How?

'Oh yeah, why didn't you wake me up, Kurama!? I know you sensed that Succubus's presence!'

Naruto suddenly screamed into his mind, because he knew the tailed beast was already awake.

'Keh, and miss that entertainment? Besides, even if that priestess hadn't showed up, you could have used the experience as practice to seduce that crusader woman you're aiming for.'

Kurama responded in a snarky, but clearly amused tone.

'Experience you say... But why would that Succubus do that anyway? Also, what did she mean by "awaken" me?'

'Hm... Perhaps those lesser devils have mistaken my power as your "true self", and as such, they have decided to use seductive means to "awaken" you by influencing your dreams by making them... Erotic. Quite an amusing power.'

Naruto shuttered at the thought of a Succubus having their way with him while he slept. That devil might have been beautiful, but he didn't feel comfortable with being forced into such actions.

'Those Succubus are running a café in town, right? Maybe I'll ask Dust if he knows anything about them tomorrow...'

But that was enough for one night, it was time to sleep.

————————————————————

The Next Day...

"So, Boss? How'd you sleep last night?"

Dust asked as Naruto walked out of Wiz's magic store because he had promised to meet with the shinobi after he was done helping Wiz yesterday. It was time to plan his next move.

There were rumors going around of a Succubus being spotted the night before, but there was no way Dust knew Naruto was involved... Right?

Although the guy seemed to know a little more than he was letting on. Suspicious...

Deciding to avoid the Succubus topic for now, Naruto started leading them towards the town's plaza.

"I slept fine. But, I think I found a girl that I want to try... Asking out."

Man, was that hard to say out loud. Who knew this kind of talk would be so difficult?

It hard to believe he was able to declare his love for Sakura in public like he did in the past. But now that he was older, stuff like love and romance seemed a lot harder to express now. To think he had spouted out all that nonsense at the guild yesterday.

Even now, just thinking about Darkness was making him anxious. Is this what one might call love? Or was it because he was the incident with the Succubus giving him PTSD? He couldn't tell.

"Oh? Who's the target this time?"

Dust asked, yanking Naruto out of his thoughts.

"Don't call her a target! That'll make it sound like I'm after her life!"

Naruto blurted out, drawing the attention of some nearby townsfolk. His ears burning red, the shinobi started walking faster to their destination.

"Heh, the Boss is so shy. But I guess that's why your tactics are so effective, so I won't question it."

Just what was this guy babbling about?

Making it to the town's plaza near the guild without causing another scene, the two boys stopped at a local fountain. Naruto planned to use the running water to cover their conversation.

"Alright, enough with the shy act and tell me who it is already. The suspense is kill me!"

Dust ushered as he was beginning to lose patience.

"Okay okay! I was thinking, maybe... Darkness?"

Naruto said while scratching at his whisker marks.

"...Seriously?"

Dust said with a deadpanned expression.

"Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong with Darkness?"

Naruto asked, and Dust sighed while shaking his head.

"Where should I even begin? Listen, Boss. Sure, Darkness may have an erotic body and good facial features, but she's a lost cause man. That personality of hers is just too much of a turn off."

Dust thought back to the days he had traded parties with Kazuma. Every single quest they went on, Darkness had thrown herself in front of the enemy while coming up with some form of excuse that would put her in harm's way. Even when she wasn't wearing armor, the girl had jumped in front of a Rookie Killer with an eager expression on her face.

That just wasn't normal.

"What are you talking about? Kazuma too, you both say that Darkness has a bad personality. But I don't see that at all! Darkness is a kind person who would put herself in danger to protect her allies. She looks like she's always trying her best, and I respect that. You need to apologize to Darkness for insulting her like that."

Naruto said as his anger began to swell up, but he managed to calm himself before he started yelling. There was obviously some kind of misunderstanding here.

Maybe Dust and Kazuma just couldn't see the Darkness that he saw.

Dust's expression went from deadpanned, to straight up pitiful. How could someone mistake Darkness's masochistic ways as kindness? But oh well, he could work with this.

"Alright, I'll apologize later. So? When are you going to ask her out?"

It would be better to go with the flow and see how Naruto reacted when he saw Darkness's true nature.

"Eh? I-I can't just ask her out all of a sudden like that... We hardly know each other."

Naruto stuttered while poking his fingers together.

"What are you, some fragile maiden? Sheesh, you really do have a crush on that girl don't you Boss? But whatever, for now we should go and find Darkness. The best way to do that would be to find Kazuma."

Dust said and Naruto nodded in agreement.

With their initial plan to find Darkness decided, Naruto and Dust set out to look for Kazuma. Their first destination was the adventurer's guild. But when they arrived, the boy was nowhere to be found.

"Odd... Kazuma and his party are usually arguing over a quest around this time. Wanna try asking Luna?"

Dust suggested as they stood at the front of the guild.

Naruto took one look at the receptionist desk and sweatdropped when he saw that Luna had been glaring at him. But upon noticing his gaze, she looked away in a huff.

"...Maybe we should try their mansion."

————————————————————

Kazuma's Mansion...

"Hey, Aqua. I've been meaning to ask, but why did you even agree to that bet between you and Naruto in the first place?"

Kazuma asked as he sat on the carpet in front of the firepit. In front of him was a pile of scraps and wood, along with a paper and pencil. He had just recently gotten the crafting skill and was currently working on a prototype to a much-needed product from his old home.

"Are you still mad about something so trivial? Silly Kazuma, acting like such a kid."

Aqua said as she lounged on the couch facing away from the boy. She didn't even bother to turn around and simply waved her hand as she spoke.

Kazuma twitched and stopped fiddling with his contraption for a split second before he went back to working. He was getting quite good at tolerating the bratty goddess. Maybe his tolerance level was rising?

"But to answer your question, I accepted because Naruto obviously isn't going to get a girlfriend. Just like a certain shut-in, that man doesn't know the way to a woman's heart."

Aqua said as she finally turned on the couch to face thee teen.

Kazuma twitched again but went back to working as the goddess continued to speak.

"Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if he got on his knees and begged me to be his girlfriend on the last day. Puhihihi! What a hopeless man!"

Aqua said and kicked her legs out while laughing, hitting Kazuma in the back of the head a couple times.

"..."

As Kazuma was repeatedly smacked on the back of the head, his anger continued to boil up. His tolerance may have increased due to the nature of his party members, but one could only tolerate this self-proclaimed goddess for so long.

It wasn't until Aqua decided to use Kazuma's head as a foot rest when he finally snapped.

"Are you an idiot or something!?"

Kazuma barked and smacked the girl's legs off his head, and Aqua immediately fumed. But he didn't give her a chance to say anything and proceeded to retort her bet.

"The bet is centered around Naruto getting a girlfriend? You like him, don't you? Won't it spell trouble for you if he actually finds someone?"

"Huh!? How could the great me, the revered goddess of water Aqua-Sama, fall in love with that loud-mouthed brat with little to no common sense!?"

Aqua said with a disgusted look on her face, and it took Kazuma's all to keep himself from telling her to look in a mirror.

"I understand the kind of guy Naruto is, but he's actually quite popular. Wiz, the receptionist Onee-Chan at the guild, and now those two cute girls in his party! Although, one's too young and the other's an Axis Cultist..."

Kazuma said, muttering the last bit to himself.

"..."

Aqua silently stood up and walked to the stairs, which was quite strange and not like the girl to be so silent after getting a verbal lashing.

Kazuma sighed before he went back to working on his prototype for a couple minutes.

That girl just wasn't being honest with herself, and she was going to regret it when Naruto showed up at the guild with a girlfriend. Not that it was Kazuma's problem.

...Wait. It WAS his problem!

'I almost forgot about Naruto's side of the bet! If he gets a girlfriend, then that means I'll have an additional four-million Eris added onto my debt! There's no way I can let that happen!'

Kazuma didn't want to think about it too much because the extra stress wasn't healthy. He decided that he'd rent a room in town so someone from "that shop" could heal his soul during the night.

He couldn't be here because of a certain priestess put a barrier that repelled devils around the mansion. That barrier had ruined his first experience with the Succubus shop, which forced him to come up with the idea of sleeping at an inn.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Kazuma put his tools on the floor and walked to the door when he heard someone knocking, and he opened it to see Naruto and Dust.

"Yo! Kazuma!"

Naruto said with a wave of his hand while peeking inside to see who else was there, and Kazuma noticed he was holding a book in his hands.

"What's up, Kazuma old buddy old pal~? Mind if we come in and chat?"

Dust said while letting himself in before Kazuma could even say anything.

"Sure... Come on in."

Kazuma said and gestured for Naruto to come in. At least one of them had manners, but he wondered what they wanted...

'Wait, Naruto didn't already get a girlfriend, did he!?'

Kazuma thought and his eyes became glued to Naruto's back as he and Dust kicked their shoes off.

'No... Naruto seems like the kind of guy who show's off when something good happens. So I think I'm safe for now.'

With that thought creating peace in his mind, Kazuma closed the door and led his guests to the living room.

Naruto gulped as he nervously glanced at the brown-haired teen, who was looking at him suspiciously. There was no way Kazuma would help him if he learned he was looking for Darkness.

Dust grinned when he saw the looks on the other two boy's faces, a plan formulating in his head.

This was going to be an interesting conversation.

————————————————————

A/N: Next chapter, A Battle of Explosions! Between Naruto and Megumin XD!